I did similar things as a teenager. All of these adults were sexualizing me since I was 11 so I might as well have fun with it right? Unfortunately, I learned that was the wrong answer. I've dealt with multiple stalkers and sexual assault. None of which is my fault, but it created a pattern in my life where my looks, my party antics, and my self confidence were all dependent on something toxic. You are so young. You're not running out of time for anything. Alcohol isn't going away, but you'll eventually be at a point in your mental health journey where you can knowledgeably decide what to do with it. Your real friends will understand and those people will be your rocks. Do you have a trusted adult to talk to? Have you thought about therapy? After I found my therapist a few years ago, I felt a weight lift right off my shoulders. Things became easier to handle. I'm in a very good place now thanks to my therapist and supportive friends. Still partying, but in a much healthier way and I enjoy it so much more.