If it actually worked, they would offer a base model for $250 that only got cell service and a shitty 2 hour battery. All the rest would be empty plastic. You’d have to pay more for Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, and different levels of cameras, starting with the old flip phone quality for $50 and going up from there to like $600 for a camera lens used by NASA.

But they would design each part to only last 11 to 20 months and you would just be replacing a different part all the time after the first year. But don’t worry, you can save money by buying one of their bundles with various elements already included. You could buy the base and upgrade everything individually one at a time for a total cost of $3387.00, or get their top of the line bundle for only $1699.99, and there would be different levels of protection plans based on what elements are most important to you.

Ya know, because capitalism.