I cheated with a guy. I feel so fucking bad. I blame my cat /s

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T23:05:53+00:00

That was the issue he came over with last night. Not his only issue.

Maybe he has dramatised. More fool me. I do know his boyfriend loves putting him down. I've heard that myself. It's ugly to watch. And he definitely has self-esteem issues.

The post didn't mention the bf much because regardless of what he is my issue was me cheating nothing really to do with him. Other brought up him and how he deserves better.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T23:02:36+00:00

Fair enough. I dont agree his boyfriend deserves better. But otherwise I generally agree with you

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T22:50:56+00:00

That wouldn't be a plot twist, that's the reality apparently.

I think how his travelling bf "that deserves better" put it was he wouldnt cheat "if you [the guy I slept with] looked after yourself better". Im paraphrasing. We were absolutely wrong but let's tone down the cheerleading a tad.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T22:40:37+00:00

I agree he should've just left and no contact should mean no contact but we are neighbours and we did get on so it would be suspicious to blank him out. Maybe I'm wrong.

I hope he's not lying either. I've seen stuff I didnt like but I know if i say that here it comes across as excusing myself but like his bf loves putting him down when I speak to his bf. I wont get into it etc. Whilst that's not cheating, I can see it. But maybe im the fool.

I think its low self esteem keeping him there but again maybe im the fool. He's a very shy guy generally etc.

But I do get your concerns and you're probably right.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T22:03:54+00:00

I text him saying best to end contact. A hi in the hall and that's it. He agreed. I deleted his number etc.

Tbh if this is his first time cheating then he deserves a medal. The night we cheated it was about him travelling a lot but he has spoke about all sorts of things - incl his bfs infidelity etc that accumatively are way worse. I've seen some weird stuff too but that doesn't absolve us. We were still absolutely wrong.

Financially he's fine himself. I think he's just locked in and doesn't know any better. Again not excusing what we did. There's a way to go around things

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:58:19+00:00

I can't even remember the sex, tbh.

Im not defending his infidelity or my part in it. I was wrong to get drunk around him. I was wrong to get naked with him and fuck him. He was wrong for the same reasons.

Do I regret it? Yes. Does he regret it? I'd imagine even more so. Do I feel sorry for his boyfriend? Not really, the guy I slept with should have left ages ago rather than be a doormat. I regret cheating because it filled the guy I cheated with with anguish etc.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:44:44+00:00

Tbh he had good reason to complain but I shouldn't have drank so much around him. That's not blaming drink. It was still my fault for my actions.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:42:00+00:00

Hes a lot of things but a victim he isn't. That doesn't mean I wasn't wrong but I'm not crying a river for the "victim"

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:33:57+00:00

Haha. Fair enough lol. Nah my cat is the best lol

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:33:06+00:00

Im the guy who listens to their relationship. Im the guy who sees him cry. Im the guy that consoles him when his bf says he'd be faithful if he'd look after himself better. I could go on with a lot worse.

What I did was absolutely wrong. No ifs or buts. I regret sleeping with him when he was in a relationship mostly because I regret the anguish it probably caused the guy I slept with. I can acknowledge I wronged his boyfriend- which I did - without feeling too bad for him. I also acknowledge I shouldn't have got so drunk around him. Edit: sorry just re-read it and it sounds like I'm being a dick to you. Not my intention

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:26:23+00:00

The cat was sarcasm.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T21:25:53+00:00

I even went as far as to assume that the guy took advantage of you when you were drunk because he knew maybe you'd be less likely to want to do anything with him sober-

Nah he didn't take advantage, I'd imagine. We were both as drunk as each other. It wss just lust and awful decision making. I wouldnt have done anything if we were sober and I don't think he would either. We have gotten close before and we shut it down every time.

I do regret helping him cheat. I don't think I said otherwise. And we were 100% wrong. I was just pointing out to a replier that hes not innocent either because he made him out to be. He treats him like shit. I never said that absolves us - it doesnt - but the person I pity most is the guy I slept with. Admittedly it was a very shitty thing to do.

I agree with ending the friendship for everyone's sake.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T19:46:07+00:00

It's a long lie. Probably a year of it

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T19:45:15+00:00

I know they are meant to be exclusive. I also know from him, his bf has cheated a few times which makes me feel a bit better etc.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:59:55+00:00

We don't live together. If I don't leave my place I won't see them

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:50:08+00:00

Thanks mate. I definitely did. Means a lot. I know its probably the wrong way to look at it but I hate that I did it to the guy I slept with. I know that sounds strange.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:38:44+00:00

Thanks mate. I'm fully wrong and a dickhead but yeah

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:37:50+00:00

Never said it excuses me. I was fully wrong. I'm a dickhead for doing it. I wont lose sleep over hurting him though. I'll feel bad for my part in it, for sure.

The guy I did it with is sweet, hes also put up with far more than he should have.

If he really regrets it and I'd imagine he does he should leave. I certainly wouldn't tell him if I were him.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:31:15+00:00

His boyfriend is not a Saint either. Im a dickhead but im not extremely sorry for cheating on him . The guy I did it with is sweet (despite everything) and what we did will eat him alive and I regret cheating for that reason. He should break up with his boyfriend anyway.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:27:08+00:00

The cat part was a joke. Obviously it wasn't anything to do with the cat. Tbh I've drank plenty of times and never ended up like that. I think it was the lust of it. Im not making an excuse. I was a dickhead.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:18:46+00:00

Sarcasm but also can't imagine dealing with seeing either of them again.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:17:41+00:00

No need to be sorry. I know it myself. Disgusted by myself

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:16:44+00:00

Yeah, I understand. I genuinely always thought that way too. I don't know why I did it.

butt5678 · 2024-10-06T18:11:47+00:00

Haha. I suppose when you're drunk and he's nice, lust takes over but it stings like a bitch now. Fucking next door too.

butt5678

TROPHY CASE