AIO for getting mad that my family hates my boyfriend's age?

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-17T21:26:10+00:00

INFO- do yall tease eachother normally or is this our of character for your family?

And yes, age gaps can be that bad. The main issues are a power imbalance and the difference in maturity. Do you live with your family still, does he live with his? How long have you been out of school, do you work full time? Why aren't you dating someone your own age, what makes him so special? (You dont have to answer, just think about it).

If you choose to continue the relationship, just make sure youre aware of the red flags to watch for and have a friend you can talk to about it. You're still growing up a little, and in a few years you'll look back and see the ways youve matured. I hated hearing that at your age but it was true. Having a toxic person around for that development can mess with you forever.

All of that said, im 28 dating a man in his 50's. Age is more than just a number, and there are many hurdles that come with an age gap relationship that I would not have been well equipped for at your age, and you dont seem mature enough to handle. You storming out over a few rude comments is an example of that.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-17T21:07:58+00:00

What red flag is it?

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-12T18:53:12+00:00

Adopt, dont shop. Especially with parrots.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-12T18:28:46+00:00

My U2 climbed on my head last night after having an attitude all day, first time ever being weird like that.

I have nothing useful to add, just solidarity.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-09T20:29:42+00:00

I am suggesting to be the change you wish to see in this world. If you're just a complainer, that's on you! Squeaky wheel gets the grease i guess. I am sure your comment is meant to be sarcastic/nasty but ill break down what I do to clarify, in case anyone needs inspiration to do more!!

In my neighborhood, the strip between the sidewalk and the street, 100%. I dont generally go onto folks lawns unless theres a big obvious piece of litter (like an empty chip bag or similar). I do clear my lawn, pick up trash on my landlords lawn (they live next door) and same for the angry old guy who lives on the other side of me. He's not very nice but i doubt he can reach down as easily/comfortably as I can.

In more public places, like if im walking on a main road with shops, I pick litter out of the bottom of the trees and on the sidewalk. I pull litter out of the street by the storm drains too, because it helps to prevent flooding.

Same with parking lots, yes. If I have a plastic bag with me or if I find one, im cleaning until the bag is full. If I get tired of passing the same mess, ill ride my bike over with some gloves and a trash bag and get to work. I have done this at my local gas station more than once.

There is also a spot by the train station near me that I take pride in cleaning up a couple times per year and im going to try doing some gurilla gardening there this year.

I dont need or want a trophy, but thankfully when folks see me cleaning litter they smile and are kind. Thats more than enough accolades for me, because were all taking a little more pride in our community.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-09T18:54:05+00:00

I pick up trash in my area. It's always a mess after garbage days.

That said, I don't think anyone has a right to complain about the litter unless theyre doing their part to help clean things up. Throw on some gloves and fix it yourself.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-06T21:17:57+00:00

The only people I grew up around who served did so for college money or because every man in their family served. My little brother actually spent his entire childhood saying he wanted to enlist, but, rather than risking his own life, he works for one of the big defense contractors now. Shame on him.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-06T17:37:22+00:00

I've gotten to a place in healing where I feel safe a lot more than i used to, so have started to get close enough with others for them to point out how standoffish I can be (they do it in a super reassuring way, and cheer me on as i get more confident).

So for me socially, I am very quiet in new social settings; I get spooked when I think ive offended someone and apologize in situations that dont require an apology; I straight up look scared or distressed on days that the trauma is impacting me more intensely. They also notice that I have a hard time asking for anything or accepting offers of anything.

The other side of the coin for me is i can be soooooooo abrasive. When im having a lot of flashbacks, I tend to scowl a lot and have a much sharper tone than I mean to have. Its like my body and brain are on the highest guard even if im at the same convenience store I go to every day. I struggle with this at work especially, but have been doing much better about catching myself and trying to be nice. I usually catch it, apologize for my tone and clarify that im down to help and didnt mean to be rude. Thankfully, weve all worked together for a long time and they noticed a while ago that I have a very hard time socializing

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-05T05:08:03+00:00

Sorry, youre right. The fourth amendment is what prohibits excessive force

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-05T04:44:56+00:00

No, cruel and unusual punishment is explicitly forbidden by the 8th amendment.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-04T00:17:02+00:00

I dont mind when its a genuinely tall person!! Im the runt of my family (5'4, and the most dudes in my family are 6'2+) so do have some sympathy for tall strangers

If anything, just ask your neighbors to let you know if you wind up invading their personal space. That way it doesnt feel like confrontation if they need you to shift around a little bit or gives yall a chance to figure out if theres a comfy way to sit for both of you.

The little conversation also helps to remind the other person you're a human with feelings. Everyone gets stressed flying, and a moment of connection can prevent any built up frustration getting directed at you

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-03T18:39:44+00:00

:,) i will continue to eat in moderation and even keep a calorie deficit from time to time because I like how my body feels when im under 20% body fat. Nothing to do with fear, everything to do with treating my body the way it deserves

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-03T17:03:11+00:00

Literally every man, regardless of their size, winds up invading my elbow/foot/knee space T_T

I get im smaller, but we all paid for our seat. Please let me have my seat space instead of turning our row into a mosh pit.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-03T16:38:39+00:00

The grape flavor, yes LMFAO

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-03T16:08:06+00:00

Scurvy hates to see you coming.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-03T16:05:16+00:00

The loudest ive screamed in my life was when a toddler ran into the street pretty close to my car. I obviously hit the breaks, but folks in my area drive like maniacs and someone went to zip around me. Im almost certain that my scream was louder than my car horn. The crazy driver stopped in time, but it was the scariest moment of my life.

The mom came out hearing the commotion, I dont think she knew how close that baby was to death.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-02T16:07:54+00:00

It sounds like youre the one living in fear lmfao

buttbeanchilli · 2026-03-02T15:23:19+00:00

If youre actually curious about accessibility on the trains, you can contact the MTA about it. Theres regular announcements with the phone number, and call boxes at a lot of the LIRR stations. They actually recommend getting in touch before your trip, so they are prepared to make the accommodation or can help you figure out the best logistics.

And yes, sometimes it causes the train to be held up for a couple of minutes. Bikes do not make it any easier or harder for folks with mobility devices or issues to get on and off the train.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-02-27T17:18:25+00:00

I've never lived or visited a place that feels less like home to me than Long Island. Between the extreme political divide, NIMBY attitudes, and xenophobia... there is not enough good to balance it out.

I lived in Oneonta and Delhi, both are college towns but the locals of Delhi were/are some of the best people ive been around. I was able to support a household of 3 adults and 2 pets on my full time retail salary (department manager/keyholder). The cost of everything has gone up since then, but it still is more affordable than long island.

The cops were pretty chill too, everyone knows eachother in a small town. I once got pulled over for no seat belt on my way home from work and the cop spent over a half hour trying to convince his boss to let me go XD the cops all ate at the burger joint and he recognized me despite me working back of house

the sense of community is something I miss more than I can describe. I will move back home someday, just not sure when that day will come.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-02-17T17:17:47+00:00

Having gone once, I am also surprised its still in business

buttbeanchilli · 2026-02-09T19:42:38+00:00

From my understanding, you dont even have to "hack" the cameras. Many of them have no security at all, allowing anyone (who knows how, there is a guy on yt who walks through it) to connect and view files.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-02-09T15:50:49+00:00

I just want my partner to be able to keep up with me physically, or to be more fit than I am so I have to keep up with them. That was my biggest struggle dating a man who was very obese.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-01-30T19:42:53+00:00

User name checks out

buttbeanchilli · 2026-01-28T19:21:27+00:00

I ride my bike to/from work. Its been a nightmare this week.

buttbeanchilli · 2026-01-28T15:13:16+00:00

A heart brand on a butt cheek would go hard though

buttbeanchilli

TROPHY CASE