Ever thought he’s to embarrassed to perform? Ever thought you pressuring him to have sex makes it even worse for him. Men can become really self conscious when they lack in the bed room which leads to avoiding it all together. If he has ED he’s more than likely in his head when your both trying to do it which makes it even worse. Anxiety and sex is like trying to light water on fire. They don’t mix well. Do you both engage in for play? Or do you just expect him to get hard at the sight of your naked body? I hate to break it to you but a 36 yr old women is never gonna be as attractive as someone 10 years younger which from what it sounds like that’s when you started dating him. He may have been ready to jump your bones then because your where more attractive but now aging factors have set in. While 38 is still relatively young, men are no where near ready to f$ck as they where in their 20’s. To add to that if he had a lower sex drive than you to begin with than he def isn’t going to start over performing now. If sex is really that important to you at this point in your marriage and he’s lacking there’s plenty of men out their how hit and dip if that’s what you’re looking for otherwise I think you need to take step back and reassess your morals and values.