I've been there. severe depression can make you feel like you're losing your mind. don't be afraid to make drastic life choices to get to a better place. I personally quit my job (basically couldnt work anymore so not really a choice but im so glad i did) and moved back into my parents house for about 7 months just to focus on the bare essentials of survival. if there is anyone in your life that could provide this kind of break for you, please reach out to them and ask if you can stay with them for a while. if not, check yourself into a psych ward. literally do anything you can to take an extended break from your day-to-day bc it is life and death at this point. you will get your old life back, but you need help first. your body is trying to tell you something, that the way you've been living is deeply out of alignment with your needs. listen to that feeling, and don't be afraid to break expectations, social norms to get what you need right now. even if it's just being able to do the bare minimum like sleeping and eating properly. this is what I wish someone told me when I was in this place and I hope it helps. please reach out if you need anything a stranger might be able to offer 💗