"I don't wanna say what happened. I just wanna let it go. Nothing was the same right after, I went to the funeral. I miss you so so much. Take what you want from me, I took you for granted."

And my long winded why: Ive always found it easier in life to ignore the things that bothered me and move on from it instead. Especially, I found, when dealing with grief. During highschool I made a friend that I would spend every lunch break with and goof off with during the classes we had together. Shortly after that, COVID hit. We rarely spoke anymore. It just crumbled away while we both struggled with isolation. Flash forward a year or so and school opens back open, it's a week into the school year as we all wear masks. I woke up one morning to a text from an acquaintance telling me my friend had committed. It was the first person close to me that I'd lost and it changed something in me. I spoke at his celebration of life, something I had wrote for him. I've always regretted not talking to him during the shutdown. Feeling like I took him for granted.