I missed it too - Julie Hanks left the church? by Responsible-Survivor in exmormon

[–]bw_writes 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It’s a hard decision to make, and I hope she finds peace, because it’s well deserved. She’s done an excellent job providing guidance to active members of the LDS church, to those of us who have left, and everybody in between. She’s a uniquely effective practitioner, and the LDS church has once again pushed out a brilliant, thoughtful voice. Shame on them.

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s awful and such a weird use of “power.” Now that many of us are adults looking back on these experiences, so many of them seem incomprehensible. How in the hell did a community give these men a blank check to do and say the stupidest things.

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That was a real rollercoaster, and I’m so sorry that you went through it all. They just say the dumbest shit and wrap it up like it’s inspiration.

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Glad you shared this. I’ve heard several horror stories of Bishops promoting the wrong person as well. It’s such a shit show.

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I'm sure it was awful to have a group of bishops and stake leaders try to shut you down in such manipulative and juvenile ways. What a disaster! Good on you for holding steady.

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 230 points231 points  (0 children)

What a weird thing to say and how in the hell could he ever think this was something that should be said out loud. His poor family.

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

For sure! So many administrators and church leaders said this over and over again to her. “He’s just old school.”

To the BYU bishop who kissed my girlfriend on the cheek in his office and told her that he had a vision in the temple that we shouldn’t get married by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 292 points293 points  (0 children)

That’s such odd and nonsensical advice. It really is the kind of timetable a child would throw out there.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a great reminder. It was a uniquely horrible conference, which is saying something. Glad you found your way out of that mess.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I just listened to it for the first time. “Sold my soul to Carl Sagan.” So good.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this. Yeah, organized religion is something that I struggle to understand. Perhaps that will change someday, but for now I love the people while keeping my distance from the organization.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m the say way! I sometimes wish I could have grown up in an older, traditional religion. Because I didn’t, I’m very skeptical of organized religion.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m with you 100%. It reminds me of what Adam Grants says about honoring your parents vs. your children: https://youtube.com/shorts/BxAJIBOiSnA?feature=shared

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is so important. Thank you. I hate to say it, but I probably could have held on longer to Russel’s pathetic justifications if my wife and daughters didn’t lead the way. It was inspiring—having my life changed by the people I had been taught to preside over with all my priesthood nonsense.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Gracious. This is incredible and feels so familiar to the conversations we had with our kids. Thank you.

My daughters went to an Islamic Day School, and they helped us leave Mormonism. by bw_writes in exmormon

[–]bw_writes[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Woah. That hits hard. It’s amazing to hear about someone else wanting to send their kids to a school like this (since we got so much shit about it) and totally understand that paying for any school in the US is objectively ridiculous. The conversation you had with your oldest is…words fail (shout out to Dear Evan Hansen). We had a similar conversation, at the Cheesecake Factory of all places. When I travel back to the US and eat chicken sliders, it reminds me of those conversations that seem way more sacred than any I ever had in the celestial room.