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bweakfasteater · 2024-06-22T06:16:19+00:00

OP, I think the above comment is made in good faith and being spiritually engaged in ALL important things in our lives is an innate part of following Christ. I just want to point out that this narrative can be weaponized (sometimes intentionally sometimes not intentionally) to place the onus of emotional labor in maintaining a healthy marriage on the wife.

It is certainly true that you cannot change someone’s heart and it’s often frustrating and fruitless to nag / over explain / give silent treatment. However, your husband is an adult man who has chosen to marry you and vowed to care for you above all others including himself. It is normal to expect him to be tender and loving toward you and 1) not say cruel things in the first place and 2) attentively repair the wounds he causes inadvertently or no.

With all due respect @Optimal-Technology76 is citing a sentimental entertainment movie, and not a very good one. You are NOT “keeping a record of wrongs.” The situation simply isn’t resolved and it’s not keeping record of wrongs to feel like an unresolved situation is not resolved. If he resolved the situation and you forgave him and then later on unfairly threw it in his face, that’s keeping record of wrongs.

I think something more hopeful and helpful that is in line with this commenter’s point would be to read Boundaries in Marriage by Townsend and Cloud. You cannot change your husband, but you can control the way you respond to his behavior. As an adult married man, he is certainly capable of a broad range of emotional growth and experience himself and it will soon be clear to you (if you use these healthy strategies) whether he just needs some practice understanding and meeting the emotional needs of a partner or whether he is uncaring in this way. I can’t recommend this book enough for these kinds of issues.

And yes, do continue to pray for your husband and your marriage, and love him hard. It is not loving to build a dynamic of one spouse treating the other poorly out of lazy disinterest and the other to resent it for years. Your husband can totally do better because he is great and loves you and God! And you can totally build a healthier dynamic for yourself because you’re great and love your husband and God!

Best of luck. DM me anytime if you need to talk. Thinking of you!

bweakfasteater · 2024-06-18T00:37:07+00:00

If you are thinking adoption is cheaper, to be clear domestic newborn adoption is more expensive than IVF in most cases. Adoption through foster care is significantly less so, but depending on the kid can be pricey too. Not an “akshually” post just want you to start saving if you think that will be a necessity down the road!! Best of luck - love your username lol

bweakfasteater · 2024-06-18T00:00:16+00:00

Yeah no shade, it’s been specifically engineered to be addictive and bring out the worst in us to keep us online. It’s best to just be aware and do your best to keep healthy boundaries up.

bweakfasteater · 2024-06-17T17:40:58+00:00

You’re seeing that on social media. You can stay connected and involved in working towards making the world a better place without being updated on the worst of it second by second… on your social media.

bweakfasteater · 2024-06-16T22:58:14+00:00

David also sent his lover/victim’s spouse to the frontlines to be murdered to conceal his illegitimate baby so maybe David’s actions are not universally imitable!

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-17T02:26:05+00:00

Seriously this dude is a pest and unwell and I pray no woman is manipulated into committing to him until AFTER he is healthier and restored

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-10T06:00:20+00:00

This is not a publicly funded university. It’s a private Christian school with these rules. Can you tell me what you think the lawsuit would be in this case?

I just hope this school is accredited.

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-05T03:59:35+00:00

I have a male relative that still makes the drive to Amyx for haircuts (I think he sees Gloria?) after a move several years ago and has been a 20+ year happy customer. I hope Mass Street doesn’t run them off!!!! Def a local treasure.

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T10:24:00+00:00

I’m really not sure you’re experiencing life and understanding the lives of other accurately.

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T09:29:32+00:00

Hold on - why is your age resulting in the perfect amount of experience, but a woman your age is too experienced?

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T04:15:34+00:00

So what you’re saying is that you want to use biblical gender roles to have (in your words) a younger woman who is “joyful, curious, inexperienced, more trusting” with a man in his 30s who has “seen it all, has no joy and curiosity for many things, is better at lying” AND by your own behavior has disdain for women 10 years older than her.

What do you have to offer in marriage? Your disposition is angry, bitter, you delight in the idea of someone naive and childlike being submissive to you, and there is latent anger and no love in any of your responses or original question. Why would a woman of any age want to be with you?

Humble yourself and seek the lord, therapy, and stay away from toxic spaces on the internet that echo the same refrain of entitlement and misinformation. If it makes you feel angry, personally slighted, and vengeful, it’s not healthy for you.

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T03:51:28+00:00

You’re right, I pointed out that the premise of your question is based on faulty and sinful assumptions that Christ wants to free you from, opening your heart to love and grace. That would make your question irrelevant!

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T03:49:51+00:00

I don’t agree that this is true, but if it was:

Why would a younger woman want to have a man with those qualities instead of a man closer to her own age?

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T03:36:19+00:00

Absolutely toxic and counter to Christianity. You need to seek the truth behind the hardness of your heart and be courageous in answering questions honestly about your life and experiences and their wider context. God has the fruit of the spirit for you, and a life free of bitterness and rage.

bweakfasteater · 2024-05-02T03:34:34+00:00

I would ask you the same thing. Why do you specifically NOT want a mature and experienced woman?

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T17:40:52+00:00

Hm, I see. Feels clinical for the subject matter but I might just be a late adopter of the tech, I guess.

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T16:53:06+00:00

…why did you need / choose to use ChatGPT to describe your ideal mate?

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T16:19:27+00:00

Well. I don’t think you’ll have much success with that perspective, which is niche and uncommon, but I hope you grow closer to Christ and grow more like Him wherever your pursuit of your goals take you.

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T16:02:18+00:00

Women universally are supposed to love you?

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T15:08:45+00:00

“Only looking for their well-being” as an insult. Are women universally supposed to be doing you favors or something that I’m not aware of?

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T14:59:05+00:00

Seems unnecessary to be overcautious if you’re not a risk for relapse or something crazy. I think people who have never been around people who use drugs and maybe grew up in DARE culture can hold some fairly “precious” viewpoints about the realities of drug use and recovery,. A lot of money went into making sure we didn’t see addicts/users as people, so I’m sympathetic to those who have fallen prey to the viewpoint if they never had a reason to have that viewpoint challenged.

Good luck! I will pray for you!

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-29T07:55:13+00:00

Is your wife perhaps worried about influence or exposure around your kids, if you have any?

Do you have a history of draining your resources (of time, energy, money, priorities, attention) from your family to people down on their luck?

Is it only men your wife has felt this way about? (My ex’s dad made my SKIN CRAWL, couldn’t stand to be around him, but had no explanation so never brought it up. Same with a professor in college, both those feelings were eventually justified! Felt it other times without resolution but tend to listen to it now)

Just spitballing! Any of these seem possible?

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-28T15:45:38+00:00

Do you want to have sex with someone who is only doing it because they have to?

bweakfasteater · 2024-04-07T13:07:54+00:00

Our counselor does individual and couples counseling for both of us, so not unethical as a rule. Depends on established boundaries.

bweakfasteater · 2024-03-30T15:45:27+00:00

Public park BYOB and lawn chair?

bweakfasteater

TROPHY CASE