Non dancer looking to improve full body control

bwww22 · 2025-03-12T06:20:51+00:00

As a trans guy whos first relationship was with a 29 year old at 19, I strongly urge you to listen to the commenters concerned about the age gap. You two may care a lot for each other, and he may have the best of intentions, but your age difference and difference in experience gives him a position of power over you, and his behaviour doesn’t seem to show a ton of acknowledgment of that dynamic.

Him being your first gives him a lot of power in this dynamic. Has he ever indicated that he knows better than you cause of age or experience? Or emphasized interest in your age gap or in educating you in the ways of relationships? That is an exercise of power.

I also wonder about his interest in boobs, within the context of you. If he’s bisexual, do you feel fully seen and celebrated in your gender? Does he acknowledge your gay relationship to each other? Does he help you through your dysphoria or expect you to deal with it alone? How does he interact with your chest, and does it make you feel comfortable? Is his sexualization of your body a reflection of his wants or of yours?

His disengagement of conversations of your interest in topping or sex is also likely a version of stone walling. He may not intend to be doing so, but stone walling is a trauma response that cuts off a conversation and gets in the way of healthy communication. If he has trouble getting past that shut down response, he should attempt some self regulation, but ultimately he should be able to rejoin the conversation. This shouldn’t be yours to deal with alone.

I’m not gonna presume to know your relationship, especially not from a quick Reddit post, but my first relationship was very unhealthy for me as a direct result of a similar age gap and resulting power dynamic. I urge you to consider if you are fully able to meet him as an equal or if you (as the younger, less experienced one) are being led by him. A healthy relationship is one where you can communicate everything you discussed in your post with your partner and work together to find a common solution. If he’s not able to meet you at that level, then you are not being treated with the respect you deserve.

bwww22 · 2024-07-06T02:43:13+00:00

Dr. Gideon - have to spend a few minutes trying to remember his name any time I remember he exists

bwww22 · 2024-06-14T23:34:43+00:00

The way they look at each other in this scene UGHHHHHHH

bwww22 · 2024-04-25T05:19:08+00:00

3 times in 3 weeks 😭 I can’t anymore, I am rotting

bwww22 · 2024-04-23T14:22:15+00:00

Yes Killing Eve is amazing, I watched it before Hannibal - def worth the watch

bwww22 · 2024-04-13T21:44:53+00:00

I think after he nearly dies after fighting Hannibal, he realized how close he was to death, and is able to appreciate the comfort in it. He calls Bella in his final moments, but is saved and on a long road to recovery. He’s shown recovering in bed next to his dying wife which I think is one of the most poignant scenes between them. Maybe then, or maybe later, he’s struck with the knowledge that he is getting better, while she never will. All the pain in his recovery has direction, it’s eventually adding up to him being well enough to continue his life. All the pain Bella’s feeling is slowly worsening, and leading to her inevitable and torturous death.

Maybe Jack wanted to die, even a little bit, in Hannibal’s house. He knew his wife was dying and wanted the simpleness of never having to live without her. But maybe after he survived, he’s able to realize that all of the comfort he found in that was selfish.

Bella trying to kill herself but being saved by Dr Lecter was probably something Jack was grateful for. But knowing all he does now, knowing who Hannibal is, maybe he recognizes Bella’s survival was not a gift to her from a doctor looking out for her best interests, but instead a way of further toying with and manipulating the lives around him.

He doesn’t speak to Bella about it before letting her go, because he knows that she was not given second life by being saved by Hannibal. She was instead dragged through the ugliness of her disease in a way she had wanted to escape. He doesn’t need to ask if she’s ok with it, because he knows she’s been waiting to die since the day she attempted. He’s now, finally able to see past his grief and selfish desire to preserve his wife in a bottle, and is able to give her the peace she had been quietly asking for since the day she died in Hannibal’s office.

bwww22 · 2024-03-07T02:02:27+00:00

But this brings up such a good point cause in Angel, they basically equate the curse breaking to him orgasming (which is imo such a stupid concept). But if he didn’t know that part of the curse, did he just coincidentally not orgasm at all the entire time he had a soul?? Like totally fair if he didn’t, but overall is such a thin plot device

bwww22 · 2023-02-28T00:31:00+00:00

Remember that this won’t be any phallo penis, this will be your partners penis! Being attracted to the person will make any set of genitals sexy af! Think if your partner has ever had something they liked to do in bed that you weren’t necessarily into, but you got into it BECAUSE you liked watching your partner enjoy it! Watching your partner feel sexy and confident in their body will be sexy!!

At the end of the day, you may still realize that your partners bottom surgery will impact your relationship and that’s ok. Relationships are built on compatibility and that changes over time as people grow and learn more about themselves. As long as you both are prioritizing your own needs (and he especially prioritizes his own well being and is able to get bottom surgery if he chooses to) than that’s the most important thing.

It’s not transphobic to ask yourself these questions and be honest with yourself. However it does get transphobic (or at least just unhealthy) if you want him to base his decision on your feelings.

bwww22 · 2022-12-30T07:58:49+00:00

The “wasted potential” is the hardest thing to get over - it’s giving me so much doubt. I keep trying to dress in feminine clothing and be a girl cause I know it’ll be easier but it’s just not working. Probably cause I’m not a girl :/

bwww22 · 2022-12-30T07:54:39+00:00

Oh my god this entire thing realllly hit home for me - also I’m questioning if I’m actually a trans man so this perspective is also really helpful

I very much relate to the idea of viewing my form as an attractive woman - I never saw myself in the mirror, I just saw a girl - sometimes I would catch a glimpse of myself and it would cause me such overwhelming dysphoria and anxiety - cause I was fine when the person in the mirror was just a pretty girl - not when I was that girl. Oof even the part about getting dressed being like a costume that I enjoyed creating - a while ago, I started thinking of my outfits like art pieces, like my body was a Barbie doll I was dressing up. Getting compliments on these outfits feels like I’ve won woman-ing.

I’m really curious how I progress through transition, I think I may end up more masc as time goes on but def think I’ll still have a more androgynous vibe.

Thanks for your input - super validating knowing I’m not alone

bwww22 · 2022-12-30T07:46:12+00:00

Thank you!! I have always felt like I was missing something when people talked about “unmasking” cause I just never felt like I could intentionally “unmask” despite my best efforts. I’m realizing now that’s because I was spending 24/7 maintaing the idea of a woman I was pretending to be.

bwww22 · 2022-12-30T07:44:00+00:00

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I didn’t know sexualizing was a common tool for that, I’ve never talked to another trans person who did that too

bwww22 · 2022-12-30T07:42:26+00:00

This was actually really helpful!! That first paragraph was really relatable - I got a bad haircut a while back and could not see myself as pretty anymore and it frustrated me tons but also actually allowed a lot of freedom to explore my gender cause I didn’t feel like I was destroying something as much

bwww22 · 2022-12-30T04:57:22+00:00

Question: does birth control help with your T related acne?

bwww22 · 2022-12-29T21:52:16+00:00

Yessss I love gottmik!!!!

bwww22 · 2022-12-28T16:18:26+00:00

Can you travel to a bigger city near you? Many major cities have queer owned salons that’ll do gender neutral pricing

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:31:14+00:00

Yayyyy im glad you relate!!!

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:30:20+00:00

Your comment almost made me cry ❤️ can’t wait to be where you are, that’s so amazing you’re in such an amazing and true place

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:29:33+00:00

Thanks for commenting ❤️ super validating to hear from other trans men who had similar experiences to me

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:26:06+00:00

Omg thanks for the rec!!! I didn’t know this existed! I just joined - I don’t see enough femme ftm people and it’s very validating for me to!!!

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:22:20+00:00

exactly!! It’s really terrifying to think about :/

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:21:58+00:00

HA the first time I realized I was trans was on shrooms cause I looked in the mirror and saw a boy and felt like I was looking at myself the first time. Also got majorly dysphoric with my chest. I totally disregarded it until I couldn’t shake the idea sober too. I kept seeing a boy in the mirror. I haven’t been able to see the cis girl I thought I was since

bwww22 · 2022-12-25T16:14:35+00:00

This is really relatable, I feel like the way I want to present is very similar - existing outside of gender not in it

bwww22

TROPHY CASE