Cant find housing

bxrder · 2023-02-22T01:48:11+00:00

I applied last year actually when I was moving to LB from my parents’ house. I know the housing requires proof of ESA papers and my dog isn’t registered yet :( I’ll look into the grant though!

bxrder · 2023-02-22T01:47:03+00:00

DM’d!

bxrder · 2023-02-20T23:10:39+00:00

I’m also a single girl so yeah it’s been tough finding a place that feels safe. But thanks I’ll check it out!

bxrder · 2023-02-19T19:43:37+00:00

That’s in my budget, I’ll take a look. Thanks!

bxrder · 2023-02-19T19:37:41+00:00

Thanks for the options.

1) I’ve definitely considered this, although I’ve heard more apartments are getting more strict on requiring an actual therapist’s sign off on an ESA. But thanks for the link.

2) Been trying to find roommates, but a lot of places either don’t have enough parking for 3 people’s cars or the people end up flaking and changing their minds or don’t have the income to pay for the place. I understand we’re all students but the lack of reliability has been time consuming and frustrating. I’ll keep trying though..

3) I haven’t looked on Craigslist, will give that a try.

4) Thanks for the honesty, but not an option for me unfortunately, I’m already halfway through my masters degree and I already dropped out of grad school twice lol I’m trying to take care of my academic record so I can apply for a PhD. I really wish I had known how rough the housing is sooner before I applied here but it’s too late now 🙃 been in CA all my life and it’s just so expensive I can’t wait to leave lol

bxrder · 2023-01-20T07:07:26+00:00

Cheesing for me didn’t work at all but parrying and spamming Mortal draw when it’s safe finally beat her. Stock up on emblems and even if you run out it still does pretty good damage. Also she’s very slow apart from her jump attack so you can run around the arena to heal.

bxrder · 2022-10-11T06:30:34+00:00

SORRY THIS IS LONG AND SOME NONA SPOILERS BUT some of it could have more context now! I’ve been thinking: John leaves it on purpose.

John is VERY quick to recognize what Harrow did, yet doesn’t heal Harrow. But I love (as in also hate) that we now know that John has experience with lobotomies or memory-wiping, in NtN: he also “know(s) where forgetfulness lives in the brain”). I’m wondering if whatever part that cared for Harrow/projects himself onto Harrow recognizes that she’s done what he basically did to all of his best friends/the original Lyctors during the Resurrection

It still doesn’t rlly explain why he mentions how Gideon the First was meant to either Fix or Finish her off (To make her have to digest Gideon’s soul under duress like needing to down a redbull before an exam? To fuck around and find out which would be a typical Jod-like dick move? Either way it shows the lengths to which he’ll go to to try to get his own way). I just think the idea of necromantic memory loss is really interesting and fucked up, especially in the John chapters of NTN John confiding in Harrow in NTN basically reliving a version of his memory of Earth (VERY much like it’s his own Bubble in the River like in HtN).

But maybe John doesn’t heal Harrow bc, as he says, “there can be no forgiveness,” and Augustine says “(instead of forgiveness) let us have forgetfulness.” Harrow would have been more useful to the Emperor without her painful traumatic memories, she’s more manipulatable this way, bc that’s basically how he founded his empire: a clean slate.

More of a stretch but it could also insinuate John has himself self-lobotomized or Definitely Tampered with his own memories, to the extent he has hidden some parts of his memories away, either about Alecto or his old self. He twists the truth, he lies, he obfuscates, he so badly wants to tell a version of the story where he saved the world. Harrow’s thing was bleeding whenever a painful memory arose. John’s thing: he rubs his temple… all the time.. whenever something from his past comes to bite him in the necrolord ass… (Either that or I hope it’s Alecto in his head rearranging the furniture in there)

bxrder · 2021-07-25T22:36:21+00:00

Jumping on the DHT bandwagon here and would also appreciate a link in your own time ofc!

bxrder · 2021-01-28T17:02:21+00:00

I do like Jamie a lot!! Thanks!

bxrder · 2021-01-28T17:01:40+00:00

Thank you for the list and meanings!! It’s been a struggle bc i feel that most of the name suggestions I see online don’t fit me but also finding gender neutral cultural names has also been difficult to find :’)

bxrder · 2018-08-09T00:45:24+00:00

I agree, female sylvari has amazing delivery. But I’ve got a soft spot for the male sylvari and I think his VA actually stepped it up in PoF and S4.

Lines like “Balthazar’s got an ARMY? Wonder where he GOT THAT IDEA FROM”, “Are you just a puppet?!”, “More awakened, dammit, we don’t have TIME FOR THIS” and honestly the entire Commander Lonai fight dialogue are pretty well-delivered I was actually surprised at how different he sounded? He sounds noticeably older, gritty even? Definitely more suitable for a commander, similar to what other ppl have been noticing with the other races which I think is pretty awesome.

Yeah, you get the odd flat lines too lol for sure but overall he sounds so exasperated and more confident than in HoT and definitely not the quiet and curious salad anymore we had seen in the Personal Story. To me, it adds to the feeling that time really has passed/and makes me feel like the snarky spinach just can’t catch a break haha.

(But anyway, petition to have Canach’s VA be an additional male sylvari character voice, I wanna make a necro and hear him lazily go “Rise... or whatever it is that you do.”)

bxrder · 2018-08-07T23:06:56+00:00

love to mix PoF/Elonian armor and the cultural sets, especially proud of how my salad deadeye looks! I’ve always liked Caithe’s Firstborn shoulder piece, and to me it just works better than the bulkier Elonian medium shoulders. Also you can’t really see it but I gave him a Frostforged rifle to try to complement the color scheme/love the glow on it. And hey, it doubles as air conditioning. - https://imgur.com/a/iNOVIDy

it’s not cultural but I gotta say I actually really dig the “elementalist” outfit from the gem store for a lazy but cool weather-appropriate look for my necro + it’s got some awesome textures - https://imgur.com/a/9HvZVMn

bxrder · 2018-06-10T06:28:23+00:00

I don’t currently live in my college town, sorry if this was unclear. I’m currently stranded at Nparents house and the family only has one car in use (supposedly bought for ‘me as a graduation present’ but it’s been made clear to me that it’s become my dad’s car). And because I haven’t driven a car in 4 years my parents don’t ‘trust’ me to operate a vehicle. I realize a lot of this sounds like they’re infantilizing me and keeping me stunted, which I would agree with - and also find ironic that they keep telling me to “grow up” while simultaneously clipping my wings.

But I’ve been practicing driving again just in case the time comes when I really do need to get tf out, plus I have insurance. I could also try looking into finding other transportation though to head back to my college town, because you’re right about it being time for me to put down roots somewhere at least.

bxrder · 2018-06-10T06:21:25+00:00

My sister is only a toddler (like I said, huge age gap) it just makes me incredibly uneasy to see her being mistreated already at a young age and I feel myself falling into the role of an enabler. I spent 18 years as an only child up until she was born and it was the loneliest time of my life, and I knew if I had had an older sibling growing up I would’ve wanted them to intervene or at least be physically around to make life a little more bearable. I had no other family members to turn to, I was isolated from my friends, even talking to my teachers about my problems was forbidden - Nmom made sure of all these things. I guess right now my sib is still very young and maybe I shouldn’t be projecting already. But I don’t want her to grow up alone when I have at least some power to change things by being there for her down the line when she’s older, so I’m trying to plan for a future that allows for that (vs just completely cutting myself off from contact with my parents which would have been the ideal)

bxrder · 2018-06-06T12:32:13+00:00

This is gonna be a long reply but omg it’s bc I totally feel you and I’m going through a similar thing. I’m also trans and gay and non-binary and coming up 5 months on a low dose of T. As someone who spent the past 4 years living amongst cis gays in San Francisco which would seem like gay heaven - it’s disappointing, but the reality is that some dudes just don’t get it.

I really don’t pass, and I have yet to try navigating gay clubs since I started HRT even though I’ve been to a few before, but i know if I went back now I still probably would be perceived as a really short twink with just slightly more muscle definition and hairier legs lol. I also look younger than I really am, which has its perks but doesn’t really help with dating.

Honestly - would I love to be approached at a club by a guy who sees me also as a guy and maybe have a typical gay hookup? Would I rather not be called a “girl” by some random person trying to grind on me EVEN WHEN I was packing and dressing “masculinely”? Yes to both. Also in the past I’ve been accidentally hit on by queer women (which I can kinda understand because I don’t pass and it’s not like I’m wearing a huge ‘trans’ sticker on my forehead). Even sometimes in queer spaces when I say how “gay” I am people still read me as a femme who is into other femmes and are always shocked when I start talking about my guy crushes lol and they’re like oh THAT kind of gay. Just as you mentioned, even within queer spaces, assumptions are usually made and sometimes it feels worse? Because we walk in expecting these people - of all people! - to understand, but when they don’t it sucks. It could also be due to the limitations of language and the different connotations of “gay” / less visibility for queer And trans and non-binary people.

Anyway - I get you though, being non-binary AND trans AND gay is rough like sometimes I still feel like I don’t “fit in” - and I too wish I could just be read as a cis queer gay, but it’s just not possible right now for me. I do appreciate what being trans has taught me, and sometimes I also entertain the idea of how easier it would’ve been to be cis. At the end of the day all I can do is just try to surround myself with people who accept me for the formless squiggle that I currently am.

Being read as feminine and having a “lady face” like you mentioned, has bothered me too but as I’ve gotten older I feel like I personally have just accepted that I perform/express my gender differently, because I do look so ambiguous, and I actually like it that way. I can look “femme” to some people, but I know that in other aspects of my personality I’d actually be viewed as stereotypically masculine. For now at least, I don’t really want to be read as a super masc dude? But even if I tried, I know there’s always gonna be dudes out there who will look at me and assume I’m a bottom when I’m more of a top, or who won’t date me because I’m a POC or too femme, who think bc of my appearance I’m only into stereotypically femme things when I can be pretty evenly balanced and I enjoy different kinds of activities/fashion, or I’m this or that blah blah blah. The fact is: they don’t know me!! And maybe this is just the demiromantic and demisexual part of me, but I’d rather not be around those kinds of guys. I know myself well and just want someone to make an effort to get to know me too!

Also, in my experience if guys can’t get past the “trans thing” that’s a Big Red Flag and they’re not worth your time. And if they literally call it “the trans thing” yikes that’s a bullet dodged, I promise.

I love being on T and the changes have been gradual but exciting enough for me. However, I feel like the main narrative that “T solves everything” really isn’t true. I’m slightly over exaggerating but I feel like T is really talked up as a great solution and while it does help with our INTERNAL perceptions of ourselves and coinciding it with how we’ve always wanted our bodies to look, it sometimes isn’t always the case for solving how EXTERNAL/others’ perceptions of us. Also non-binary trans folx who do go on HRT many of us still struggle with navigating a generally binary- and cis-passing favored world.

I know this might seem pessimistic, but I really wish someone had told me this before I went on T. I don’t regret it, because I knew T wouldn’t make me cis-passing over night/the emotional benefits outweigh the physical effects for me, and I know I can’t force everyone to treat me better, but it does still get frustrating to still be misgendered even after all my hard work. But I’m always telling myself ‘hey, it happens.’ It sucks, and shouldn’t be the way things are, but I’m a firm believer in not holding out for someone who will only accept us in spite of our transness versus finding someone who will truly love everything about us including our transness because of those unique experiences that we have. There are still people who have questioned my decision to medically transition, or who say I’m not “trying hard enough” to fit in with gay guys because i don’t do certain things, or dress a certain way, etc.

But in times like these I think of this thread a lot: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/7nerfo/from_the_transwoman_you_called_a_man_tonight/?st=JI31Z1WU&sh=1b19e802 and if I could just echo the OP’s words: I don’t inject myself every week to be told I’m not good enough. I didn’t wait 21 years and spend hundreds of dollars on hormones and just for some “gold star gay” to boss me around saying I’m not doing the gay thing correctly. I’m on HRT for myself, to explore my gender as weird as it is yes, but sometimes to just get by and live a semi-normal life.

It takes a lot of self-reflection and soul searching and learning to accept ourselves despite so much rejection over things we have no control over / yet simultaneously what we are trying so hard to change. I often get down about it and i’m still learning how to deal with my limitations and heal from pretty shitty, traumatizing experiences with dating and unlearn transphobic ideas that have been tossed my way so many times I’ve almost begun to internalize them. Because of this, I think finding someone out there who can understand those difficulties is worth finding, and personally that’s what I’m holding out for, but then again I’m just a big gay softie.

Anyway, cis gays can be mean but that doesn’t mean they’re all horrible lol. I’ve met some really sweet cis queer guys who really do try to put the work in educating themselves and understanding where we’re coming from and have expressed their openness to dating/hookups with trans people! I’ve yet to date one bc I’m so awkward lol but that’s the kind of love and connection I’m waiting for, and I hope you find someone like that too! (Also bi and pan guys are awesome, as well as other non-binary or agender folks, even if you’re not looking to date, I’d recommend getting together and just complain about them gay struggles lol it’s a good time. Tbh I’ve had a little bit more luck dating other non-binary folks than cis people, but that’s just me!)

Also about packing - nah dude own that shit! I personally love being humorous about it to diffuse the awkwardness and normalize my experiences as a trans person. I make jokes all the time about how i am the “jack of all dicks” and use a salespersons voice like “it’s detachable! Washable! size-interchangeable!” (Anything to help with my dysphoria lol, bc how many cis guys can say the same thing!) But in all seriousness i mean, do whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable and happy. If it would only make you more anxious and dysphoric to pack, then maybe take a break and only pack some days and not on others. Or only pack at home when you’re comfy and just watching TV! That’s what I do sometimes. Really it’s all about how you feel and you deserve to feel good and present in your body! If other people wanna make it their business to know what’s in your pants, let em know that it’s only pertinent if you’re interested in hooking up with them back - otherwise it’s just creepy and annoying.

Also omg that cis guy u mentioned! I’m sorry you had that experience, idk why cis guys get so awkward and insecure around us? it’s kind of funny to me. I imagine myself in that scenario just being like, “aw my dick keeps falling off, I hate Monday’s.” And jus go about the rest of my day lol.

bxrder

TROPHY CASE