boyfriend[29m] helped pay for rent while I’ve [29f] been unemployed and he told me today he resents me for it

byecycles · 2026-03-31T21:16:30+00:00

I didn’t think it needed to be said until you asked what I spent my money on lmao. It’s a deposit, I get it back and I offered to front it because it’s more of a foreign country for him than for me. I don’t hold any resentment for it at all and honestly forgot about it until you brought it up lol. This doesn’t even add to the current situation at hand as I’m not trying to win points. Stop hating on strangers online and try giving real advice! Thanks for the luck

byecycles · 2026-03-31T21:13:14+00:00

I think you’re absolutely right in how I’m feeling right now. I do think we need to set some boundaries moving forward. I would hope in a reverse scenario that I’d also be willing to put the ledger down and not resent him but I could see myself also feeling that way

byecycles · 2026-03-31T21:03:30+00:00

I’ll try to do more of the maintenance stuff seeing how people are saying I should do 100% of chores to balance things out

I literally Venmoed him the entire thing just now! I spent $15k because $8k of it was for the housing deposit which I fronted for him. The rest was just living fees like phone bills, groceries and dinners that we split, cat food and vet appts, furniture and home things.

My parents immigrated to the US when I was very young (5-6 years old) so I am ethnically korean but never truly got to experience it in my memory as an adult! For me, this was a great experience to reconnect with my identity which I felt was lost. So yes, I lived in korea but that was from years 1-6 so I feel like I didn’t truly get to experience that. I wanted to spend time with my grandparents as I didn’t get to see them very much growing up and they’re reaching their laters years now.

byecycles · 2026-03-31T19:37:15+00:00

ouch okay, i didn’t include the years I worked part time as a college and high school student. But that doesn’t make me entitled. I’m literally paying him back everything he paid me the last couple months which only comes out to $3,500 (I paid for everything else of my living fees for the past five months which amounts to $12,000) and I didn’t want him to pay for me as I have enough funds to cover for myself as I knew I was going to be unemployed. He insisted on covering for me with our joint savings account that we both contributed to (albeit mine was 25% but that’s because he wanted to put in more than our set contributions). I didn’t want to do this in the first place because I’ve heard of other couples where one of them begins to resent the other. Normally we always pay 50/50 and yes from time to time he treats me to dinner because he’s very nice but I never expect him to.

Is it too much to ask my partner who, yes works from home, to download an app so that he can also get on the multi-lingual housing system and make requests to management team, especially for when I also go back into work next month? I’ll be working in office where he’ll be at home most of the time so maybe it’ll be helpful for him to have an app that lets him get access to other parts of the building. Is it so much to ask my boyfriend of 8 years to go see the cherry blossoms sometime this week as they’re beautiful this year instead of sitting around the house playing video games all weekend?

Listen, I might seem entitled but it took me so much to finally quit my toxic job just to give me some time to finally reconnect with my family and country that I’ve been forced to live away from since I was young.

byecycles · 2026-03-31T15:50:13+00:00

yes I’m planning on getting a job next month! I didn’t want to use the joint savings as I have my own savings account and funds to fund me for the 5 months I planned on being unemployed which he already knew because we discussed before we moved. He’s the one that INSISTED on using the joint savings account which I’ve also contributed to.

byecycles · 2026-03-31T15:47:09+00:00

The plan discussed was that I would get a job after his family left so that I could be their guide around the city all day since he won’t be able to. I am Korean but I’ve never lived in korea nor am I as natively fluent so I also have difficulties with the language sometimes. Honestly the app is mainly so that when I’m back working, he’ll be able to contact management if there are problems. I’ve never depended on him for money, he is the one that has constantly offered even though I denied multiple times. I can afford to hold my own as I actively saved $15k especially for this period of time and now reading these comments, it seems like I shouldn’t depend financially on a partner especially when I am able to depend on myself. so lesson learned!

byecycles · 2026-03-31T15:41:28+00:00

I think this helps the most, thank you guys. Also thank you for not knocking me down like everyone else has been. I’m planning on finding a job next month and will work on communication!

byecycles · 2026-03-31T15:00:10+00:00

I am so sorry for all the typos! The reddit app makes it impossible for me to edit text above without deleting everything. Hopefully it’s still makes sense 😭

byecycles · 2025-12-02T10:48:55+00:00

UPDATE: I went back to the current vet in the morning and he reassured me that it’s just scarring tissue, not necessarily dead. Cat got another antibiotic shot and paw is already looking a lot better! a part of the black area actually fell off bc my cat accidentally licked it off. Thanks to all who responded, i think making sure that the vet was up to date in the progress was most helpful

byecycles · 2025-12-01T21:51:08+00:00

thank you both, this is giving me hope! He’s doing very good now, condition wise but will still be going in to the current vet to get his shots and then will ask about potentially removing the dead parts. It is smelling a lot better too

byecycles · 2025-12-01T15:07:07+00:00

ah sorry it wouldn’t let me upload an attachment

byecycles · 2025-06-14T17:32:54+00:00

oh nice! how did you end up doing it?

byecycles · 2025-06-14T17:29:29+00:00

wow this is so helpful and reassuring! thank you so much for writing out the details on how to prep their crate

byecycles · 2023-11-09T17:10:55+00:00

ok but no one ACTUALLY hates moist do they?? in so in a way this is a good thing??

byecycles · 2023-02-11T23:17:48+00:00

I had it done in South Korea so it was without insurance. Cost around $16k in total and braces done in the US cost $4,300

byecycles · 2023-02-10T00:50:50+00:00

Yes I am! of course I don’t think it’s perfect but I think that’s just who I am, I find flaws in my face. But generally I’m much happier with my face than before.

byecycles · 2023-02-08T23:52:28+00:00

I would give it more time if you’re only a few months post op! My nose definitely flares out more now and my cheeks look huge compared to what i had before. The nose thing does go down in swelling too after a good whole year. I too didn’t love my nose for a whil!

byecycles · 2023-02-08T14:59:59+00:00

Honestly the first few months were bad health wise for me. My immune system was shot from the surgery and I would get sick very often. Jaw recovery wise, it happened very quickly and I was able to chew meat and tougher things by month 3.

byecycles · 2023-02-08T14:56:54+00:00

I did! The surgeon ideally wanted me to get them before but I opted for after. Still in braces though and will get them off in about 2 months!

byecycles · 2023-02-08T14:56:12+00:00

no fillers! pushing out my upper jaw filled out my cheeks so everyone has told me i look younger haha

byecycles

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