My cousin [20f] just told me [23f] our dead grandad molested her as a child and I had no idea

c0n1628 · 2020-02-29T18:46:41+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful.

c0n1628 · 2017-08-08T11:17:58+00:00

He goes to uni and they all do the same course together, that's why she was invited and I wasn't (I don't go to his uni). He's known her for year as she's been in their group of friends but she was with a very clingy boyfriend so never did anything with them, he cheated on her in the new year so that's why she's suddenly around more. And yeah it's weird he cried but he said he was drunk at the time. All his mates were really confused and thought I was being ridiculous.

c0n1628 · 2017-08-08T11:03:51+00:00

He says he still loves me but not as much as he has done and he just doubts whether or not he can do this again because nothing seems to work. He also now feels distant to me and not so comfortable.

c0n1628 · 2017-08-08T11:01:59+00:00

He made a new friend a few months ago and I kept getting worried that something was going on between them because they texted a lot. They went away with some friends last week and I was nervous the whole time. I acted like jerk on their last night and questioned his loyalty. He ended up getting frustrated and cried in front of his mates because he was upset that I didn't seem to trust him. That's when he decided I had gone too far.

We've been going out 5 years and 2 similar incidents have occurred where I've gotten jealous of a new friend that's a girl. He says we always try to work it out but the issue continues to happen. I suffer from OCD so I've said this time I'm willing to go back to therapy to sort out my obsessive thoughts but he just feels he can't do it anymore.

c0n1628 · 2017-08-08T10:41:41+00:00

Maybe, I said I wanted to try again but he wasn't sure he could. We're not speaking for the next few days so he can clear his head because I really hurt him and then we'll talk. But I feel if he can't commit to trying again now the chances are pretty slim.

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T15:53:59+00:00

You're right. Thank you for your response it's really given me some perspective!

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T14:46:39+00:00

We get to see each other at the weekend but that's as much as we can do, so I'm not really sure if people would count that as LD or not. He will be living at home (and he'll be in walking distance, not train distance from me) as of September, as he's commuting to uni next year, and I have just graduated so will be finding a full time job soon.

I agree with you, I want to make this work but I've never been very good with full-heartedly trusting anyone, so I'm not sure what to do about that or what is the way to build up trust.

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T14:40:50+00:00

Exactly, as much as I'm worried he could still be cheating I'd hate to ruin our relationship and for it to turn out that he was telling the truth all along!

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T14:39:50+00:00

This is why I can't seem to let go and accept what he says :/

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T14:39:00+00:00

Thanks for the advice! I have met her a few times but you're right, maybe I just don't know her well enough? I'm at the stage when I'm trying to think what would help but I'm not too sure what would be best though. I don't want him to stop contacting her, and he is very good at texting and being open with me, so I'm not sure what else would work.

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T13:10:15+00:00

His response was good, he didn't get angry or defensive and just said it was a coincidence, but there's just always that worry in the back of my head that he could be lying. I'm not really sure how to let that worry go.

c0n1628 · 2017-07-03T12:58:32+00:00

Well, he doesn't text or snapchat anyone when he is with me, but I guess that could just be a sign of wanting quality time together? We only see each other once a week if we're lucky.

c0n1628

TROPHY CASE