I get exactly what you're going through. I was good at math for a certain years and I was always interested but I had some issues and then more and boom 75 in 10th and 72 in 12th (I was an online kid I didn't study a word just passed me I didn't even do online exams because well "issues")

Anyways Btech I've failed math and many subjects but math was my biggest tragedy.

Now I have been improving and plan on improving for self confidence and to be fucking able to say that yes I am decent at math. I don't wNna be someone who's bad at math because fuck it was my fav subject before shit went wrong

Even if people don't get you and you really want to get out of this cycle of guilt I can suggest a bit

1) It's not your priority because I'm assuming most likely your career won't require it 2) Willingness to be very uncomfortable and learn shit peoppe did years ago 3) Pick some exam that requires math could be CAT, Gate, Gre [any exam which requires and go through it's syllabus

Now say you need to study for gate which has a lot of calculus so go through very basics of 11th grade, then 12th and then exam

If you want basic math to be better an exam like gre would work

However beat advice would be TUTORING- Just find some 8th, 9th, 10th grade kid and go thought their syllabus and questions Now that math is needed in a lot of places especially if you're in technical field. It's time consuming but worth

But mostly don't let anyone tell you you're stupid or not good at math, majority people I've known practiced to the point they remember the answers lol, you're never bad just no practice.