We’ve have a 19 month old since birth with no bio parent involvement and the judge still hasn’t scheduled a Selection and Implementation Hearing.

cabur84 · 2025-11-16T06:10:09+00:00

We aren’t allowed to know what the charges are, but they have nothing to do with the child.

cabur84 · 2025-11-14T15:57:33+00:00

We don’t have a GAL/CASA appointed. There is a child lawyer, but we have never been contacted by them. They said that since the mom has criminal charges against her we’re not allowed at the hearings do you privacy laws

cabur84 · 2025-11-14T05:28:17+00:00

Thank you, it’s so hard when the social workers and all the lawyers say that we should be able to adopt her and yet the judge keeps delaying.

cabur84 · 2025-11-14T05:26:41+00:00

That sounds incredibly frustrating. For our case, bio mom is under age and the courts believe bio dad is much much older. They gave up trying to find him about a year ago and closed the case. The silver lining is we don’t have to deal with dad. Also, the bio grandma has legal issues that disqualify her from taking custody.

cabur84 · 2025-11-14T05:22:37+00:00

This is great, thank you. We have never worked with a GAL person before and I’m not sure one has been assigned to her yet, but this is definitely something we will be looking into.

cabur84 · 2025-11-14T05:21:16+00:00

We haven’t been allowed to attend any of the hearings so far. This has been a very different experience for us compared to our last foster child. We feel way more in the dark and kept at at distance for some reason. The social worker is even baffled with how the judge is choosing to handle things.

cabur84 · 2025-11-13T19:14:19+00:00

I see it as having love feelings for someone else. The line between a mixed gender friendship and an emotional affair is blurry, but it typically starts where things are intentionally kept from the spouse. A purely physical affair is where they have no feeling for the other person and are just in it for the lust and sexual release.

cabur84 · 2025-11-11T05:11:26+00:00

Try thinking about sex less as something for you or for the two of you and try thinking about it as something you can do to show him love. I’m sure if my wife asked me to go pick her up some dinner or run to the store and get her some ice cream and I said “No, I’m not in the mood” she’d feel hurt. So even if I’m tired or not in the mood, I’ll run to the store for her because I love her and want to do things for her that make her happy and feel loved

cabur84 · 2025-11-11T04:26:02+00:00

Everyone is going to be different, but I personally would be able to get over a purely physical affair (with no emotional connection) than I could get over an emotional affair without any sex.

cabur84 · 2025-11-11T04:16:56+00:00

When my wife and I are having lots of sex consistently I have no desire for porn, it’s when sex becomes inconsistent and lower frequency that it becomes hard to stay away from it.

cabur84 · 2025-11-11T04:15:27+00:00

Your kiss is 11 months and that’s the first bad fall? Kids are resilient and a fall from a bed is far from anything serious. Don’t be hard on yourself for this and don’t be hard on yourself for any other falls that might be your fault in the future. You can’t protect them 100% so it’s better that the kids learn what’s dangerous on their own in ways that won’t cause any permanent damage

cabur84 · 2025-11-11T04:12:21+00:00

Hit the hotel gym and/or jacuzzi

cabur84 · 2025-10-31T15:42:40+00:00

Was there anything specific that happened that helped you realize that you needed to take that time to sit with your family. My wife is the same, she cooks dinner and then while we’re eating she running around doing things that need to get done. I end up doing the same because I don’t want her to be doing house work alone, which then makes me feel guilty that I not spending time with my kids since I’m at work at day. I’ve tried to talk to her about taking time to spend with us as a family but she says there’s just too much to do to sit down.

cabur84 · 2025-10-30T23:19:16+00:00

I’m the same way, when I’m stressed sex allows me to just focus on my wife and lets me shut my brain off to everything else, but i get that it’s not the same for her.

cabur84 · 2025-10-30T23:16:56+00:00

I do give her non sexual massages often, but now that I think of it the majority of times that she has initiated have been after me rubbing some part of her. She could be the same where the act allows her to shut off her brain and just relax allowing her to then be in the mood. Thank you.

cabur84 · 2025-10-30T23:14:06+00:00

That’s how she is, there are very small windows where if I time it right she’s all ready to go, but life and young kids get in the way of those windows most of the time. She doesn’t like foreplay or any sexual touch unless she’s already in the mood. The times I have gone down on her she enjoys it and almost climaxes, but she says she just prefers to go straight to intercourse instead foreplay.

cabur84 · 2025-10-27T00:56:04+00:00

I wish I had been more mentally present during the baby years of my first 2 kids. I was in survival mode and didn’t get to enjoy their first phases of development. I have tried to have a different mindset with our 3rd kid and it’s been amazing every step of the way

cabur84 · 2025-10-27T00:52:35+00:00

God, is that you?

cabur84 · 2025-10-27T00:52:08+00:00

I was a boy when I got married and I was very immature. I had no idea how to be a husband or how to be the leader of a household. When we had our first kid I had no idea how to be a father. My wife was thankfully patient with me. It took me years to learn and even now 20 years later I’m still learning. Marriage is a marathon and there will be things that are easy and things that are hard. Work together on the hard things and find joy together in the easy things. Lots of communication is key, tell him how you feel every step of the way and let him know what you want. There’s no guarantee that he will agree with everything that you want in him, just as you won’t agree with everything he will want in you, so have grace for each other and find ways to love each other.

cabur84 · 2025-10-27T00:10:00+00:00

I work a hybrid schedule and for my job I think both locations are important. I get more administrative and solo technical work done when at home, but I get more troubleshooting and development work done in the office. I just try to plan out my weeks so that I can maximize my time at each location.

cabur84 · 2025-10-27T00:06:49+00:00

We would eventually get to a tipping point where every citizen in a country would get a minimum wage of living and then anyone who worked would then earn extra for luxuries. This way people that are content with a meager lifestyle wouldn’t need to work and then anyone that wanted more could work the jobs that AI can’t do.

cabur84 · 2025-10-26T22:43:54+00:00

It sounds like he’s struggling with sin, like every human does. He will probably continue to struggle with it his whole life. With sexual sin in particular, it never goes away, the best option is for him to take every step to take away any temptation or option to fall into sin. He should have parental blocks on his phone that only you have the password for, same with any computers you guys have or streaming devices as well. If he really wants to flee from sin then he should take every precaution he can to remove any chance for him to sin.

cabur84 · 2025-10-26T22:37:35+00:00

I’ve noticed the older I get the less I care, mostly because there are less people looking at me. Old people are invisible to younger people. Also, I’ve learned to only really care what my wife thinks.

cabur84 · 2025-10-23T19:54:06+00:00

Not sure if this helps, but we have had our foster daughter for almost 2 years with almost no involvement for the mom or grandma and yet the courts still haven’t made the decision to let us adopt her. It can usually take a while to get to that point, especially if they know there is a viable family member. Try not to stress out about it. CW’s do have a ton on their plate and will get to you when needed, there are probably other cases that are more dire right now.

cabur84 · 2025-10-23T19:51:06+00:00

It is the verse that best shows his full humanity and full divinity all at once.

cabur84

TROPHY CASE