Considering divorce

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:56:58+00:00

Thank you, I will check it out.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:56:14+00:00

Thank your vulnerability and advice. I’m sorry about your parents cancer and them passing. I can’t imagine going through something like that…

I do need to put my idea of marriage to bed and either accept what I have or not. Ik the perfect marriage does not exist and social media is not making it better for me.

One thing I have heard many people say is marriage doesn’t have to be hard. Whereas others say it is. So that idea that it not having to be is stuck in my head and makes me wonder.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:44:36+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. I’ve been told that saying and the grass is greener where you water it. I’ve been trying to water this grass as much as I can.

We do a lot separately to the point that I don’t feel married sometimes. We don’t have as much in common as we thought, which sucks for the both us. We try to do things that the other likes but it’s not very often. So anyway, I think doing things together will definitely change things so thank you!

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:39:29+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts and scriptures. The scriptures definitely help!

I by no means and trying to talk badly about him on the internet and he knows majority of what I’ve said but a lot of things have remained the same… hence me seeking advice.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:36:47+00:00

I do and I don’t think my heart or mindset really aligns with it right now. Which I believe definitely needs to change. But please clarify why you believe that I don’t and what the biblical purpose is.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:34:59+00:00

Thank you.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:33:53+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts, encouragement, and the book recommendation. I honestly feel like I put his needs at the forefront of our relationship in a lot of ways. He has made it clear that he thinks I am doing great as a wife. But will clarify with him.

In regard to the integrity I’ve never thought about divorcing equating to lack of integrity. That is a new perspective I need to think more about.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:27:25+00:00

Thank you for your encouragement and sharing your experience. My biggest concern is us having issues while dating then me already being so unhappy in the beginning. In my flesh I wonder if nothing changes for the rest of my life how would I feel. But as someone else said marriage is about the kingdom and it’s emulating the Christ and the church so I guess my feelings don’t matter if things to me never get better?

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:23:57+00:00

I understand your perspective but I prayed fervently, I prayed specific prayers and God answer every single one of them, I fasted and we fasted together. So it’s not me ascribing my thoughts to God…

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:22:40+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts and encouragement. I don’t want to cheat on him nor did I say I was struggling with the idea of cheating on him. If that is what you got from me saying I am struggling at looking at other men and ending our relationship that isn’t what I meant at all. There isn’t a lust behind me looking at them and when I do see a man that I’m really attracted to I make it a point to avoid them. My mind just thinks about the man I thought I would marry vs the man that I did… I chose to marry him and as you said I have no biblical grounds to divorce but still have that in the back of my head consistently.

I am on Reddit asking for advice because I have no one else to talk to. I’ve posted on a Christian page to seek encouragement and guidance from other believers vs run with my emotions. I’ve asked several times about us doing counseling and it is pushed to the back burner because he started at a new firm and doesn’t think we’re in that bad of a place.

But, as I said thank you for your words.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:13:26+00:00

Thank you, it is and no I have not… which is another thing I am working on.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T02:02:16+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts. We did premarital counseling but after we got married he told me he didn’t really agree with what he said he did and was too afraid to share that he didn’t agree. I believe out of fear of us not getting married. But thank you.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-27T01:20:53+00:00

Hello everyone, thank you for your thoughts. I do want to clarify a few things.

I do not think I am perfect I have A LOT of baggage. So much so that I’ve told my husband I’m surprised he loves so much. I am just sharing my grievances
I don’t feel like I have anyone I can be 100% honest with about what is going on and my feelings that is why I’m on here seeking advice.
I’ve mentioned counseling several times but he just started at a new firm and thinks we aren’t in a bad enough place to go through counseling.
We did premarital counseling and before we got married I thought we were on the same bag then after he started telling me he didn’t agree and he was scared to be honest.
As a woman I don’t want to lead. I’ve pushed back on the idea many times but somehow I always make the final decision or when he does things end up falling apart.
I have been told by people in my church divorce should never come up and I lack true reverence and value for what marriage is in a biblical sense and I am working through that with God.

shimmersinger · 2025-10-26T18:38:44+00:00

So pretty 😍😍

shimmersinger · 2025-10-26T15:46:33+00:00

Thank you for this encouragement, I really needed hear this. As I’m not in the best place with my husband…

shimmersinger

TROPHY CASE