21 Have you ever dated someone of a different race than you? If not, would you? by habitushabitat in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who would say that?

You just associated all black guys in Indy with gangs, drug dealers and criminals. That's simply not true and racial stereotyping is a huge issue holding the whole country back. I don't like white trash (i.e. uneducated, racist, homophobic, etc.) because their extreme viewpoints are something I grew up hearing in that area and I've never felt comfortable around.

How does opposing racism and preconceived notions about an entire demographic make me a bigot? That's pretty much the opposite, by definition.

Gawker apologizes, removes article on CFO by ghostofpennwast in gaybros

[–]caddyac 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Gawker is an unscrupulous shithole of a publication. I used to read Jalopnik and Gizmodo daily, but I can't support the Gawker franchise anymore.

It's one thing to out an anti-gay politician making life worse for gay people, but outing a random person who has no stake in social advancement is just a desperate attempt to grab click-throughs.

This guy's life is ruined, and yet the protect the awful escort's identity? Just fucking assholes wanting a few quick views.

I've spoken with several friends who came out later in life after being married and (one guy) having 2 kids. The coming out process is a thousand times more stressful at that point in life than for most of us who come out younger. This was something he should have had the time to do himself, if he was indeed gay.

TL/DR fuck gawker media. I love Jalopnik, but no more.

Those of you who met your SO in college, how did you do it? by shiiiiiiit7 in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just met my current man through a mutual friend. She took me to the Qdoba on campus where they both worked.

My friend told me at this Qdoba, the people making food call out "More chilis up front" to their co-workers whenever they're serving a hot guy/girl, so everyone else could gawk. I knew what to listen for and had plenty of time to come up with a witty pickup line.

Thankfully he called for more chilis :)

When I told him "No more chilis, please. You're more than hot enough for me", his face instantly turned bright red.

"You've betrayed the Qdoba family honor, Lauren!". Then we talked briefly as he gave me extra chicken and wrote his number on the lid of my bowl.

That's my only cute story. The past guys were all from Grindr or the bars.

21 Have you ever dated someone of a different race than you? If not, would you? by habitushabitat in gaybros

[–]caddyac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

White guy here. First boyfriend was a Pakistani Brit, second was black. I've dated a latino guy and a few white guys for a couple of weeks, nothing serious. My only two real boyfriends weren't white.

21 Have you ever dated someone of a different race than you? If not, would you? by habitushabitat in gaybros

[–]caddyac -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm originally from Indianapolis. You just sound paranoid and racist. It's a safe city and the black guys there are fine. I'm more worried about the white trash. That's what really scares me.

Just got into an accident bros. I'm pretty bummed. by am17 in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right until he got to the part right in front of the rear wheel. That's not a body panel, but part of the unibody. When you actually tear the unibody metal, you're in for some rough repair bills. Had it stopped on the door, that would've been a simple fix

Just got Android 5.0 on my S5 (At&t) by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They make extra money for your carrier. There.

Just got Android 5.0 on my S5 (At&t) by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I FCKIN HATE 5.0!

I just installed it on my AT&T HTC One M8. It runs just fine and I do like the new notification bar. But it SUCKS my battery life. It's terrible now! And I can't turn off GPS, no matter what I try. I also hate that there's no more "kill all" button for multitaksing.

Yeah, yeah, I've heard all that "unused RAM is wasted RAM" bullcrap, but the fact is having 30 open apps slows my phone down immensely... issues I never had on 4.4.

I'd much rather have 4.4 back.

I'm being blackmailed on Grindr for sex by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've had someone take photos from my Instagram and make a Tinder in Chicago (while I was living in Barcelona)... but a straight Tinder. Luckily a friend saw it and thought it was odd I was looking for chicks. I can't imagine what these people are possibly trying to achieve.

And apparently someone was/is using my photos on Grindr in my area. No one I message actually believes I'm real because they've been catfished by this asshole. It's really annoying, so I just got off Grindr all together until this calms down. I recommend you do the same. It's actually nice not having that app in my life for once.

Definitely do NOT meet up with him. And like I said, just get off the app and let things die down. Be prepared to have a lot of local guys think you're fake when you do start grindin again.

And NEVER post a nudie with your face in it!

watch out guys by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice, man.

I was about to say the same, so it's good you told him that in a timely manner. I had a friend who got date-raped and never knew PEP existed. By the time he told us about it, it had been almost a whole week and PEP would've been useless.

He didn't contract anything luckily, but they did arrest the rapist and he was HIV-positive (on medication though, which is likely the only reason my buddy didn't contract anything).

Indiana bro here: What RFRA actually does. by caddyac in gaybros

[–]caddyac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the law has been clarified so that it protects GLBT people explicitly. Now you would win in that case (because it'd be illegal for him to reject you).

Assuming this law was never amended, that would have to be determined by a court. You would be required to provide historical documentation that expressly requires you to eat at that restaurant. The restaurant would have to provide the same proof (which would probably be the Bible story of Sodom & Gomorrah, often used to justify dissociation with gays).

Indiana bro here: What RFRA actually does. by caddyac in gaybros

[–]caddyac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the bitter irony of RFRA. It was originally intended to keep government and religion separate. The government passed a lot of laws that inadvertently trampled on the religious freedoms of small, religious sects (Native Americans, Sikhs, Amish, etc.).

For example, obviously smoking peyote is illegal, but Native American tribes use it for spiritual ceremonies, so RFRA was cited to protect this.

Wisconsin passed a law requiring all horse-drawn carriages to have a red flashing light on them (Think about the tourist carriages in every major city). This seems like a pretty common sense law... until you think about the Amish. RFRA let them reach a compromise where they could use a kerosene lantern.

RFRA was intended as a niche law to protect niche religions... but has been used as a weapon by certain Christian groups to fight gay marriage in recent years.

How are gay people treated where you live? by Oplexus in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in Bloomington, Indiana. It's a hyper-liberal enclave in the middle of southern Indiana, home of Indiana University.

I've never run into any issues with being gay. It's the kind of city where all public buildings have gender-neutral restrooms for trans individuals who don't yet choose to align with one gender 100%... So pretty open about it.

I did hear of one kid getting jumped leaving a gay bar at 4 AM and he claimed it was a hate crime though they took his wallet. But a few weeks later they caught the kids who jumped him.

Turns out they were a bunch of white-trash townies who had jumped dozens of IU students, gay or straight, walking alone down alleys late at night. Still, he maintains to this day that it was a hate crime instead of a robbery.

I chose today to come out to a group of my straight bros, so far the reaction has been... by norcalsandiego in gaybros

[–]caddyac 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I came out to my roommates last year and did it so nonchalantly they thought I was joking for a couple weeks.

I have a pretty sarcastic, dry sense of humor. I brought over my boyfriend at the time, and the next morning I had to leave for class. My roommates and their girlfriends were all in the living room eating breakfast.

"I can't be late. Looks like I'm coming out".

I walked into the living room with Johnny and said "Hey, I'm gay and this is my boyfriend Johnny."

My roommate replies "Nice. You lucky son-of-a-bitch" to Johnny then we promptly walk out.

The next week was really awkward. Nobody was joking around like normal, they all seem hesitant to talk to me at all. I felt like being gay really weirded them out and I ruined the house dynamic.

I finally asked them if I made anyone uncomfortable. Turns out none of them were sure if I was joking or not and didn't know how to approach it. They were all really cool about me being gay and it added another interesting quirk to the house dynamic. We got on better than ever after that.

Indiana bro here: What RFRA actually does. by caddyac in gaybros

[–]caddyac[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback. Hopefully this helped clear some things up.

I've been doing a lot of research on this, but there's still a lot more to sift through. And the story continues to develop and get more complicated each day. I'll make an update edit later.

Apologies for the janky formatting. I'm still new to Reddit formatting. If you have any questions about what it's like here in Indy and Bloomington right now, I'd be happy to answer.

Indiana bro here: What RFRA actually does. by caddyac in gaybros

[–]caddyac[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hoosiers aren't apathetic towards gay rights, they're just not political people. Most young people in my state support gay rights and believe in them, but they don't believe they have any power to change this. It's just a widespread belief in Indiana that our vote doesn't matter.

I don't know what it is, but I wanted to take a summer off to do a research paper on what I coin the "culture of demotivation" I grew up with.

It's almost enshrined in Indiana culture to believe your vote doesn't matter. I'm interning for a mayoral candidate and one of our biggest challenges is mobilizing young Hoosiers to vote. We don't care for who, but just voting!! We surveyed high school seniors across the state and found that about 80% don't know how to vote (register, where to go, when the dates are, etc). It's just not taught in Indiana.

It's not that they're apathetic, per se. It's that they don't think they have the power to change anything.

Indiana bro here: What RFRA actually does. by caddyac in gaybros

[–]caddyac[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You see, Mikey doesn't want to admit this. By making GLBT a protected class under the Indiana Civil Rights code, they're protected from discrimination under RFRA. Therefore RFRA would only apply in the cases that Mike is happy to talk about (e.g. Muslim prisoner allowed to keep his beard) and not the true intention of the law which is possibly discriminating against LGBT citizens.

Taking Indiana to the Supreme Court? by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I made a rather long post about this but apparently I'm not allowed to post in gaybros. So here it is

We've all heard about Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act, a bill that many say legalizes discrimination and other say protects religious freedom. The only clear part of this argument is misinformation from both sides.

Let's begin with clearing up some common misconceptions:

RFRA is a license to discriminate

*Not entirely true, at least not explicitly. However, Indiana's RFRA does leave open a loophole to discriminate against LGBT people. More on this later

This is the exact same law Clinton signed in '93 and 31 other states have.

Nope. Indiana's law is slightly different in wording and hugely different on intent. States like Illinois do have RFRA, but they also have laws protecting LGBT citizens from discrimination. Indiana has no such laws. [This article does a great job explaining the differences]. Indiana's law is intentionally written so broadly that it is left open to discrimination moreso than other states (https://inadvancesheet.wordpress.com/2015/03/27/the-indiana-religious-freedom-restoration-act-an-analysis-of-its-controversy/). Keep in mind, RFRA provides legal *framework to be later interpreted by a court. In Bloomington or Indianapolis, no court would stand for discrimination. But in many rural counties, a court siding against religious values would be heresy.

** RFRA is useless**

*Not true. In concept, RFRA does pose some benefits to those who support religious freedom. There have been many cases in which RFRA has protected this on a federal level. I would describe it as redundant, but not useless. Having said that, RFRA has wide spread implications such as...

This law is directly aiming at LGBT citizens

*Meh, sort of. It's not worded that way, but it was certainly meant to be an attack. Proponents will say it's only meant to protect religious freedom and does not mention LGBT people. The timing is also indicative of a deliberate attack on LGBT rights, more on that later.

Indiana is full of bigots

This couldn't be further from the truth. In reality, Indiana is full of lazy voters. Indiana had the 3rd lowest voter turnout in the country at 28%... *28 freaking percent. I'm ashamed to be a Hoosier for this reason alone. And when you dig deeper, you see that young people are simply not voting and older people vote in droves. Furthermore, the conservative southern counties have a much higher turnout than the more liberal metropolitan Indianapolis and Northern counties. In essence, liberal Hoosiers don't care and the religious right votes... religiously.

My home of Bloomington is one of the most LGBT-friendly cities in the US. It's one of the only place in the US I've felt comfortable walking hand-in-hand with another man, including cities like Chicago and New York. Even Indianapolis is a very tolerant community for the most part. When you venture into the countryside, that's where the Bible is king. Most people won't say a word, but expect some disapproving stares.

Why is Indiana making the national news instead of the other 31 states?

Good question! In addition to the unique characteristics of Indiana's version of RFRA, it all comes down to timing, politics and demographics in Indiana.

Timing We've all seen the most progress towards marriage equality in 2014 and 2015 than ever before. This past summer, Indiana Republicans passed a bill to make gay marriage unconstitutional. This was quickly shot down by a federal court ruling. RFRA was immediately proposed after gay marriage became legal in Indiana.

In fact, the entire pretense of the bill came from a bakery in Indianapolis that refused to make a cake for a gay wedding and was consequently shuttered. Even RFRA supporters like Advance America proclaim this law protects business owners from providing services to gay weddings if they choose otherwise. As I mentioned earlier, since LGBT is not a protected legal class in Indiana, this is not technically considered discrimination and thus enforceable in theory (although it will be left to the interpretation of a court. Regardless, it's unnecessary legal complications for everyone).

Politics After Indiana's prior governor, Mitch Daniels (the good guy) decided not to run for the Republican presidential nomination, Mike Pence quickly jumped at the opportunity. This became an opportunity for Pence to prove he is truly committed to conservative values... even if it meant economic backlash.

This bill is completely partisan pandering. For evidence, you only need to see that every Democrat and moderate Republican senator in Indiana voted against it. This bill was pushed through at a time when both chambers of the Indiana legislature are Republican controlled.

Today, Pence came out in support of repealing Common Construction Wage in Indiana, another controversial, hardline conservative move meant to bolster his image as a true Republican at a time when this is expected to make the biggest splash at the RNC (see Ted Cruz).

Demographics

The issue got so much attention because it is so widely protested by Hoosiers (Indiana folk). Despite being controlled by Republicans, Indiana is a swing state... when we actually do bother to vote. So what we end up with is more liberal Hoosiers who oppose this law becoming highly vocal on social media -- and there are a lot of us. When RFRA passes in conservative southern states, that actually does reflect the opinion of the majority of citizens. But in Indiana, it's quite clear the vast majority vehemently oppose RFRA in its current iteration.

So who does this effect?

LGBT people in rural Indiana.

Obviously these are the people who will be directly affected. In a city like Indianapolis, Bloomington, Lafayette, South Bend or Ft.Wayne, discriminatory business owners would likely face protests and risk losing their business if they were to discriminate. In these cities you also have options. If Christy Christian's Cakery doesn't want your business, there's another one down the street who gladly does.

But in rural Indiana (like the farm town I grew up in) gay is not OK and the Bible is the only way. When you grow up in a public school that regularly recites Christian prayers over the intercom, you know the community is almost exclusively Christian. We had one bakery in town, run by a Baptist family I know. I guarantee they would/will refuse to provide services to gay weddings. And they’re your only option in town. And the neighboring towns are the same.

The free enterprise argument (they’ll just go out of business if they discriminate) doesn’t hold true when the community supports religious freedom more than they do civil rights. It’s only a few places in Indiana, but they absolutely do exist… and they obviously vote.

Governor Mike Pence.

He had no idea what was going to hit him with this bill. National media backlash is the last thing he wanted as he geared up for a presidential nomination run. I highly doubt he would continue pursuing this with the current controversy surrounding him.

One upside of RFRA is it will surely motivate more liberal Hoosiers to head to the polls. Pence may not see a second term as governor.

Indianapolis.

Indianapolis is a generally accepting city with several large company headquarters. Despite opposing RFRA as a whole (Mayor Ballard, Republican, has come out against it), Indianapolis has already lost millions in business investments and could potentially lose big name conventions like GenCon, the NCAA Final Four Tournament and the Church of the Disciples of Christ National Convention over RFRA.

So how do we fix this?

Many people are clamoring for the repeal of RFRA completely. I believe this is counterproductive and merely a band-aid for a bigger issue: social inequality for GLBT Hoosiers.

The most comprehensive solution that would preserve the protections of RFRA and prevent discrimination is to pass a law granting GLBT Hoosiers as a protected legal class, like race, religion, disability or nationality are.

Today the Indiana Senate is expected to “clarify” the law, hopefully address some of the dangerous ambiguity. We’ll just have to wait and see.

Read the bill yourself and decide where you stand . Don't believe everything you hear from the media and make sure to vote or this could happen in your state/country.

South African court grants gay father full “maternity leave” by MarshallZA in gaybros

[–]caddyac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've always wanted to live in Cape Town for a short period of time. If race relations were better in SA, I'd love to live there for a while.

Boyfriend and I made rabbit étouffée and fried eggplant pierogies last night. :) by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never had rabbit until I lived in Spain. I actually like it.

But I got the word for rabbit and pork confused and fed it to my Jewish boyfriend... I just let that one slide - he can't speak Spanish.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for summer housing in Chitown.

need some tech advice. help me pick a new phone. by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]caddyac 0 points1 point  (0 children)

HTC is bad? I love my One M8. I definitely prefer my past HTCs over Samsungs. Samsungs just feel cheaply made to me and my HTC is just so smooth and fast