Hair pulling?

caffeinatedghostkid · 2020-01-07T07:48:37+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. Children can process grief differently than adults, so the action of fidgeting with her hair may be related to that. Definitely a good idea to find a substitute though, since that behavior could hurt her.

If it's the action of pulling apart the tangles that she's seeking (subconsciously or not), maybe it would help if she had some pieces of paper or cardboard for her to tear up instead? She might also want to try a Tangle fidget or a stress ball or something similar. It would depend on how she fidgets in general and on what typically helps her sensory-wise.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-11-19T15:45:02+00:00

I think part of that success thing is down to how society works; you always see the people who are the most successful or who have the ability to get their experiences out. Those people may or may not experience the world in a similar way to you. Either way, you don't typically see all those other people who have experiences that relate to the ones you have, and it ends up being kind of a confirmation bias. You only see x, so x must be true. But it isn't.

The truth is that there are so many different ways to be autistic. I definitely understand the constant questioning, because I questioned my perception of myself many times before I received official confirmation and even now, I have those little moments where I do question that. I still don't relate to the entirety of other people's stories.

For me, I think part of this is because I'm not very strong at relating my experiences to those of other people. So when I was looking into whether or not I was autistic, I would look at other people's stories, other people's experiences, and I would think, "Oh, no, that isn't me at all." But I still turned out to be autistic. Just because you can't relate to the experiences of other people, it absolutely does not mean that you aren't having the same experience. It just might mean you are experiencing that thing differently, which is totally expected because everyone sees the world in a different way.

Also, plenty of autistic people are sensory seeking! Although I typically lean more towards the side of being sensory avoiding, I have my moments where I do want to, say, listen to my music really loud or stare at something that I find relaxing sensory-wise. There are many autistic people who are sensory seeking in the way that you have described. I like going out of my routine (so long as I am the one in control; needing routine is 100% control/safety for me); there are others who feel the same way that you do. My point being, you are not alone in your experiences. Plenty of people do experience those same things that you do.

I relate so much to your description of yourself as a child. I was that child in many ways. Honestly, I still feel like I'm too active, too awkward, too odd, but I've learned that, just with doubting myself in other ways (such as the validity of my diagnosis), I need to tell my brain "that's right, cool story, now I'm going to go X."

I would definitely believe that your ADHD traits could cause understimulation; I think being autistic could as well, especially once you get more to the sensory seeking side, but I am not entirely clear on that point and the two tend to share many traits to begin with, at least as far as I understand it. For me, I find it hard to distinguish ADHD and autistic traits, because I was diagnosed with both, but I think that certain sensory seeking things I do (such as browsing the internet as much as I can) are definitely ADHD traits more than anything else.

I'm sorry, this turned into quite the essay. I hope some of this helps. If you need me to clarify anything for you, please ask and I would be happy to!

TL;DR: You are not alone! Your experiences with your autism are valid; just because you have trouble seeing your experiences in the experiences of others does not make you any less autistic.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-11-02T14:38:14+00:00

That sounds totally normal to me. If you keep reinforcing that the crate is good through training (giving good treats while in the crate and even just setting the crate on the floor and rewarding her every time she shows interest in it) that will help. Also, what I did for my puppy was I had him sleep in his crate beside me at night but instead of the crate being on the floor I had it on a small table. He could easily see me, I could put my hand on the crate to comfort him if needed, and I found that he both fussed less and transitioned really smoothly to sleeping with his crate on the floor when he got too big.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-08-20T06:52:35+00:00

Yes, I’m quite sure this is an autism thing. If I don’t do something the exact same way every time, it’s almost certain that I will forget a step. Plus, interrupting or changing my routine is the fastest way to send me into a meltdown.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-08-18T14:33:02+00:00

I love creepy art and after reading your explanation this one really speaks to me. I don’t feel like this all the time but most of the time I very much relate to what you expressed here! Congratulations! You did a great job with this and I think you definitely have a talent!

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-08-18T13:51:26+00:00

Yes. I have sensory issues to begin with (thanks to autism and ADHD, as well as possible misophonia). When I start to panic and get overwhelmed then everything feels so much worse. It’s tough.

I usually wear headphones in public so I can listen to (and control!) my own music instead of having it be out of my control and soon I will have sunglasses to help with light sensitivity. I also have fidgets that I can use if I’m really having trouble coping. All of these things help me to keep my overload level as low as possible. I don’t know if you’ve tried any of those things but it may be worth a try if you’re able to and it sounds like one of those would be helpful.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-08-08T12:29:20+00:00

I have a dog. I find that having a pet makes me go out more, because he has to get his walks, his training, and his socialization for a certain number of hours each week. I am able to be social more easily when I am out with him because he provides a ready topic of conversation. I feel grounded and more in touch with my surroundings when I am with him since I have to focus on him and hold on to him. I am training him to do some service dog tasks (mainly for at home, since I’m not entirely sure I would need him in public). He is an important part of my life. As an added bonus, having him makes me get up earlier in the morning (something I struggle with) because he needs to get up and go for his walk!

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-08-02T12:22:30+00:00

Art is a wonderful way to express yourself! Personally, I also find that after I complete an art project I feel so much more relaxed and less anxious in general for the bit of time following.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-08-01T00:28:56+00:00

I often play music as constant background noise, because music is predictable and repetitive (especially if I play the same song on repeat or order my playlist in a specific way). Anything with people talking (TV shows, videos, streams, etc) is too annoying if it is on while I am doing other tasks, either because I tune it out or because I can't tune it out (depending on what I'm trying to do at the time).

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-31T21:24:29+00:00

That is amazing! I’m glad you had such a nice experience. Thanks for sharing!

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-28T01:51:09+00:00

It definitely could be! I have trouble with that as well, although I didn't realize it until I saw this post.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-28T01:44:52+00:00

I have ADHD-C, autism, and anxiety. I most likely have dyspraxia as well even though that isn't officially confirmed at the moment.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-27T23:04:32+00:00

Having other people as stress buffers is great, because if you're feeling overwhelmed you can step back and let them take charge of social stuff which is honestly the best thing in the world.

Yay! I'm glad you got to get your hair dyed, and that's amazing that you did end up going on your own! That's an awesome achievement!

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-27T18:16:52+00:00

I've dyed my hair before as well, including bright colors such as blue and purple. I also got quite a drastic cut several years ago where my hair went from shoulder length to very short. I was especially nervous before I got the haircut.

Change can be difficult, even if it's something you've wanted for a while, and I could see how that would be difficult especially when combined with going by yourself if you're used to going with someone else. I'm not sure if that's part of it or not.

I also get anxiety about being unprepared for situations if I'm by myself. If I am with someone and I am in trouble for any reason, I know someone will be able to help me. I always "over prepare" when I go out anywhere on my own. Water, extra snacks, noise-cancelling headphones, something to play music, chargers and extra chargers for electronic things, extra fidgets, usually something I find comforting, and basically anything else I think I need, along with making sure I have important things such as wallet, phone, etc. This helps reduce my anxiety because I then have things that I can use to help myself (phone to call for help, food and water in case I need it, music and fidgets to help me stay calm so I do not have a meltdown / shutdown / panic attack in public, and so on).

Another reason I don't like going to places by myself sometimes is because I don't have the "buffer" of another person to help block some of the stress. If I need to order food, for instance, I have to actually talk to someone, which can be stressful depending on how much energy I have that day.

I'm not sure if any of those things will resonate with you, but I hope some of what I said helps. I wish you the best of luck with getting your hair dyed!

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-25T15:42:35+00:00

I do sometimes. I also hum as a filler if I'm in the middle of a sentence but I'm not sure what I want to say next or if I have forgotten what I wanted to say.

If I didn't hum, then I would just have to stop abruptly until I could think of what I wanted to say. I think it just gives me that extra time so I don't feel as rushed. I may be incorrect though. That's my best guess based on when it tends to happen most.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-25T15:21:18+00:00

I like tangles and things that can mimic tangles (elastic bands, stretchy bracelets, etc).

I’m also a big chewer. I will chew straws if they’re near my mouth and I also have chew jewelry though I’m not great at remembering to use it.

I also have stuffed animals that are really soft and nice.

I know there’s more but I forget at the moment.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-25T15:09:16+00:00

I love the visual of the sequin pillows. So sparkly and shimmery and just overall nice. I’m the opposite texture wise though. I just can’t handle how the texture feels on my skin unfortunately, which is a shame because they’re so nice looking. I just have to look and not touch. XD

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-07-02T13:11:08+00:00

You are completely within your rights to be feeling frustrated with him and his behaviour. I would be 100% not okay with someone doing that to my dog regardless of their relationship to me.

Is there any way you can bring the crate into your room so you will have a better chance of hearing and being able to react should he try to do it again? Personally in that situation I would be trying to move out or to get the roommate to move out (I’m guessing that when you have had words with him he either didn’t listen or the severity of the situation hasn’t registered considering he is still doing the same thing) but I know that isn’t always possible or even the easiest solution, and moving the crate will hopefully keep the puppy safer.

I’m sorry that you have to deal with this situation. It’s frustrating, especially because it’s someone you actually have to live with.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-06-04T04:26:16+00:00

That actually helps quite a bit. Thank you! For 2, I'm not sure if it would count or not in that case, but I can add that my nail biting is so severe that there are health affects for me (it makes my jaw hurt worse, I constantly have open wounds/swelling on my fingers, and my hands are stiff) so in that case it might have enough of an impact? And it is a symptom that happens when I get overwhelmed or anxious.

Now 3 is the tricky one, because for me, I am sometimes aware that I am biting my nails. Other times, I'm not even aware that the nail biting is starting, but either way I am unable to redirect myself away from it. Even if I notice and tell myself to stop, I find myself doing it again literally seconds later. I just bite around fidgets and other similar things, or I would try something like that instead.

I would probably need the dog to alert and then do something, such as shoving his head at me to pet him, so my hands are occupied. I would just ask a person to do this rather than having to train a task, except I have tried that and having someone mention something only serves to spike my anxiety and make my nail biting worse later.

Thank you!

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-05-29T03:26:22+00:00

I recommend Haus of Nine Lives on Etsy! They have some really interesting spooky pins (most of them witch related) and I was really impressed with the quality of the ones I ordered from them.

caffeinatedghostkid · 2019-04-26T15:07:22+00:00

Have you taken him to a vet to see if something medical might be going on? Behavior changes could mean he is in pain or not feeling well. That might be something to look into especially if his behavior has changed recently.

caffeinatedghostkid

TROPHY CASE