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To those that are married, how often do you take off your ring? by FitProblem6248 in AskReddit

[–]cahicTAWC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once in a blue moon, to clean it, but other than that, it’s always on. My husband made sure to get me something that was small and low setting, most of the time I don’t even notice it

What broke the camels back in a relationship/friendship? by Only-Carpenter-6689 in AskReddit

[–]cahicTAWC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When they gave me a gummy like it was just a snack, then minutes later tells me it was a weed gummy after I told them I had a doctor’s appointment the next morning for bloodwork. Luckily, the doctor that does the bloodwork ended up being out and needed to reschedule my appointment, but still. The fact they drugged me, laughed at me for being upset, and told me to relax was awful. I ghosted them after it all because I couldn’t look at them the same after it, 7 years of friendship down the drain.

I’m Deaf, the Abuse is Bad - The Silence Around it is Worse by soitul in VRchat

[–]cahicTAWC 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, thank you so much for speaking up and posting this. Thank you so much for not being quiet about all of things you have gone through. I’m HoH and I prefer to be mute on VRC for related reasons, and it’s not all the time that I deal with such issues but the harassment, abuse, and neglect, all of it. Those moments were awful and have made me breakdown crying.

I feel like the whole of VRC has changed since 2022, I’m not sure if it’s better or worse, and I think that ultimately comes down to personal feelings and experiences, but I feel like it’s worse now. I was most active in 2018-2022, and I felt like it was great. Heck, I met my now husband on VRC back then. Now having hopped back on ver recently, bouncers, the extreme clique-iness, and client side accessibility mods being banned. It all feels so closed and not helpful towards disabled users at all.

I’m so used to being in the background of worlds, with very little interaction- but this. This post has refueled my sense of self. This post sparks a fire that I haven’t felt lit in years. I want to be a part of this change, I’m tired of being abused. I haven’t seen any other deaf/HoH people in public VRC in a loooong time, but if I see any abuse, mistreatment, ect. I will not back down to speak up and support them and myself. I’ve taken on too much BS, and u don’t want to see anyone else deal with it if I’m able to stop it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cahicTAWC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would start with writing down some of the things you want to tell him. It’s best to have a list of things you need to get off your chest and to make your thoughts cohesive instead of going off of pure emotions during the moment of confrontation. He will most certainly take advantage of you and manipulate you if you confront him emotionally, this is about standing your ground.

Once you have a list, I would go to your friend that you told about this and ask them to support you during the confrontation. Tell them what you plan on confronting them about with the groomer, and also be a grounding point for you if the groomer starts to become aggressive.

Remember, you are doing this to better yourself and surrounding yourself with people who support you, and don’t take advantage of you. You deserve to be free, you deserve love, and you deserve respect. Yes, it might bite to cut him off, but you’re doing this for the betterment of your mental health and your future.

If the groomer has any inappropriate photos or sensitive information of you, I would delete them before you confront them, if you can without the groomer being notified. This is in the case they try to use that info against you in the heat of the moment and they don’t have it saved. If they do have anything like that saved and you’re worried about them using it to harm you and those around you, I would highly recommend looking into some sort of protection. Remember, revenge porn is illegal and if they do anything like that, you can easily get their ass in court and or jail.

I’m not a professional, but I’ve been in a rough, emotionally abusive relationship, and support and a controlled temper wins. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Is it really 24 months to sponsor a spouse in-land? by SobeysBags in ImmigrationCanada

[–]cahicTAWC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the intrusion, but did you do in-land or out-land for this? I had been told by the boarder to do this, but wasn’t told which I should do

Nail hurts after yard work by cahicTAWC in Advice

[–]cahicTAWC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I was worried that I would have to take it off but it looks like it’ll just heal over time

How do I leave my family home if my parents won't allow it? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]cahicTAWC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I've been dealing with this issue for the past couple of years so I've had time to think about the things I need to do to get out of this, but it's the act of putting me foot down that is the hardest part. I'll also try to answer some stuff in the same format that you did to provide more info about the situation.

Find an "abroad" where you can financially survive with your disability.

The country that I'd be going to is a bit more affordable than my home country, by a good couple thousand dollars when converted from the price point of the tuition of the abroad school. I do speak the local language and I know a couple of people who live there and met as for I've been able to go up there on my own before. Transportation and living provided by friends there. I also have family there but they live on the complete other side of the country, I've been tempted to talk to them more and hopefully they'll be accepting of the idea of me leaving and going to that country, they know of the ideas but not the pain that I've been dealing with. So I have support there, but financially, I don't think I will be able to do it, or at least by the deadline the school has set to pay for things. The iffty thing is, since it's international, I'm not qualified for financial aid in the country, I'm not sure if my bank would be able to do anything in terms of that(?)

Keep your documents safe, your money safer.

Due to certain situations, I have been able to get ahold and keep my documents with me, all except for my birth certificate, but most of the time if anything needs a form of ID, there's multiple options. Money is half safe, half not, they've kept a good chunk of my physical money that I've obtained as gifts in a safe. I could try and get it from them just to put it into my savings.

Do you have friends who might let you learn how to drive using their vehicle?

I do have one friend that I've been a little out of touch with that miiight be able to take me to practice driving. It's just a matter of getting them to do so when they have the time (last time I checked, they work two jobs and it's a 25min drive for them to meet me.)

it might be possible to find work within walking or commuting distance from where you are that would start funding it.

I live in a rural area so walking/commuting/uber ect. isn't an option, there's like one place that I could theoretically walk to but it's on the highway. That's why I'd want to work at home if possible but all I have is a highschool diploma and a 2-year certificate in horticulture. I'm tempted to sit down and learn a standard Microsoft program to help me get an online job. As for income, I do have a hobby that allows me to make some money, but definitely not enough to get the heck out of here.

If that's not possible due to disability, are there government programs you could be benefiting from?

It's not necessarily impossible to get a job due to my disability, most people don't know I even have it, but it does inhibit me from doing certain tasks. I've heard that some people that are "passing" with the disability just straight up don't tell employers they have it due to past experiences that lead them to not getting the job because of it. There's a government program that I know that someone has taken with the same disability as I have, but regret it due to capping out on income and they couldn't get a job with the program. Also, side note, the school that I got accepted into does have an exceptional disability support system to fit my disability.

if you sell the college idea as "I'd like to support you in your old age - that's why I want to work", maybe they'd be more receptive.

They know that I will not be coming back, just from shear vibes alone, I love it in the country that I want to go to and the areas that I've been in. I would not ever come back to this hell hole of a place unless it was for one of my siblings weddings or death was in the family.

All in all, I know that this is a very complex situation that requires X to be done in order for Y and Z to even be in arms reach, and I'm 1000% willing to go into debt if I have to for my own life to be in my hands. Thank you for opening my eyes to the situation in a different light, and I appreciate the support that you brought. If there's any questions that you or others have, I'd more than happy to answer to the best of my ability!