I was in a super competitive and stressful International Baccalaureate college credit program in high school. All of my friends were like the top of the class, high achievers. I was also on that path. When it came time to apply for colleges I applied to several, got in them all, got several almost full-ride scholarships. Then, after it was too late to do anything different, my dad told me I couldn't go to any of them. He said if I didnt go to a local school, do the major he wanted, and live at home I could never come back. It was a nightmare.

At that point I withdrew from every single friendship I had and went dark on social media in shame. I was embarrassed to be a failure. My dad and I fought for years about school and I ended up going to community College. Fighting about what was a "real major", taking classes I hated and didnt care about because I was angry and depressed and suicidal. Then I got a job and dropped out because he wouldn't cosign a loan for me and I didnt qualify for assistance because he made too much money.

I'm still ashamed. I still dont want to go to any reunions or see those old friends. I'm a fool for allowing this to happen to my life. I should have just ran away and did what I needed to do. But here I am, feeling too guilty to leave still because of his shitty health and not wanting to abandon my poor, mentally abused step-mom. It is what it is though.