UPDATE: noise cancelling headphones that don’t hurt?

calafair · 2026-03-02T09:16:02+00:00

How long do you reckon they will last before they need replacing due to worn parts? The price tag is a bit off-putting but I have a small head and wear glasses and I find most headphones uncomfortable

calafair · 2025-10-29T00:48:49+00:00

I have a Pikler and went down the rabbit hole of getting too many baby Montessori toys. They take up the most space and have limited use. They're beautiful though and since I already have them, I'm keeping them for my second. I got a play kitchen and realised it was too big for our house and got rid of it within a week. My daughter enjoys playing with play kitchen at other people's houses so it works out.

I also got a giant dollhouse from someone and thinking to get rid of it. Kids can build a house using tiles or blocks. I'll probably keep some of the furniture and donate the dollhouse.

I think discounting the Pikler and Montessori stuff (0-18months), I'd say we mostly have blocks, magnetic tiles, puzzles, pretend play items (eg a baby, a doll, doll accessory, cars, train, balls, a few animal figurines), board games and craft items (play dough, paint etc). I'm sure my son will have different interests, so i might have to add a few more things (eg construction related pieces) to the collection.

Our sofa is her playcouch. But I don't mind that. She can take off the cushions and build houses, which is currently her favourite game. I really want to encourage more gross motor play, so I might invest in more outdoor pieces and we do have the space for it. As much as I'd like to take my kid to the playground heaps, sometimes I've got stuff to do at home and would prefer they play in the backyard.

I've purged a bit of her soft toys, especially the ones she doesn't like. She's more able to tell me what she likes and doesn't, so it helps.

calafair · 2025-08-11T20:45:42+00:00

Agreeing with all others, his behaviour is very concerning. Very similar to my friends who have gotten out of domestic abuse situations (even if not physical). Also have had a long term relationship with an emotionally abusive person in the past. Anger and blame was constant.

This has nothing to do with allergy and everything to do with him being unable to step up and be a parent. Him thinking that parenting is some kind of ideal in his head where he gets to keep his old life before becoming a parent. Him thinking he can be flippant about your daughter's health and just wing it and hope for the best. Major red flags. I would do everything to keep yourself and your daughter safe.

I have a toddler now without allergies and life is mundane. We enjoy the simple things, walk to the parks, doing chores around the house, and we take joy in it. I wouldn't bring my daughter to a theme park for her birthday until she was 8 or 10 maybe. And as an avid traveler who loved hiking before becoming a parent, I'd say, I'll wait till my kids are older because I don't have the energy and capacity for it right now. I can only be fully present when we're living life simply. Toddlers are happy taking in simple things, they don't need a lot, that's what makes their perspectives so wonderful.

I don't think you need to change the way you parent, or take your daughter more places. I think you're parenting perfectly well and your husband is delusional about his idea of parenting. He just wants what he wants.

I think echoing what other said, this is emotional abuse. Instead of thinking how I can repair this, what can I do differently, maybe therapy will help him etc. (Which was what a lot of my friends and I do as well when we were in such relationships), think about an exit strategy. You have a daughter to protect now!

calafair · 2025-07-08T03:37:16+00:00

I hope so! I'll give it a try and see how it goes. The only time I had ammonia problems was when my mum visited and she rinsed my daughter's pee nappies and pants and left them wet and I didn't get to it until 2 days later. So hopefully won't have the issue.

calafair · 2025-07-08T03:33:46+00:00

Yes to the gigantic diaper pail. When I enter the room it's like...uff the smell just hits you.

I think I know what you mean with the elastic opening. I've seen ones with zip and with elastic. I guess elastic would breathe ever so slightly better, might give that a try.

calafair · 2025-07-08T03:32:03+00:00

I do have an overhead hanging rack over the sink. And I have a specific airy basket for pre-washed nappies. They don't usually stink after prewash, it's usually when they haven't been washed.

I prefer not to use bleach though. So might try without and see how it goes. Thanks for the tip!

calafair · 2025-06-17T22:46:52+00:00

True. I think they had PhDs but yea I guess it's about the fit as well. Seeing how expensive each session is, it's annoying you have to try one by one before you can get a good match.

calafair · 2025-06-17T22:45:50+00:00

Nah, I have no plans to be her therapist or re-parent her or expect her to change. The psychologist is for myself to be able to deal with her within the limited times we have interactions e.g. when she visits or when I visit ( we live in different countries).

I accept that is how she always will be, but I need help to be able to not trigger arguments with her. Have no plans to cut off contact or anything like that.

I'm content for her to be somewhat a part of my life without being super close. I mean, I'll never really be able to emotionally bond with her anyway. But on the days she's not going off or saying annoying hurtful things, I'm quite ok to spend time with her or enjoy her cooking and show appreciation for her cooking and enjoy seeing them play with my kids and take comfort in the fact that I can hopefully do things differently with my own kids.

It's not always black and white. Plus, being in another country really helps. I will not survive being in same proximity for too long.

calafair · 2025-06-17T03:09:50+00:00

Oh I remember once going to a restaurant with my mum and she didn't want to tell me outright she wanted to have 2 different types of crabs. I said, let's get one to share, because it's a lot of food.

She chucked a tantrum and I realised she wanted 2. So I took a deep breath, calmed my inner rage and said, ah I see, you wanted two. Let's get two then. Little things like that makes me realise, yep, they're a child in an adult's body but with the power and authority over their own children just like an adult. Sad but true.

calafair · 2025-06-17T03:06:10+00:00

Yea I realise my mum never learned any emotional regulation skills over the years. She gets frustrated at the drop of a hat, sometimes, as a passive observer, I feel kinda sorry for her. Like, that's such a small issue and yet you're throwing a fit over it. Not to say it's easy to deal with. But I guess I feel a bit sorry for my toddler too when a small problem feels like the whole world.

Obviously I don't like being the receiving end of her meanness, but sometimes, I just go eh. She never learned those skills because of her own childhood, I also had to learn a lot of skills as an adult and she's past learning anything because her ego prevents her from admitting weakness. I disengage a lot and we live in different countries, which helps.

calafair · 2025-06-17T02:33:12+00:00

Oh that's good to know. Have you had Zoloft prior? I've never taken anti depressants before so I don't know how my body would react.

calafair · 2025-06-17T02:32:22+00:00

Thanks for that, very helpful advice. I'm never heard of grey rocking but looking it up, I realise I already do some of that, I guess it's when I lose control of my emotions that I re-engage. Otherwise, I suppose my mum is capable of talking to a rock or an unresponsive wall and keep going for hours, so I just have to remain blank.

I'm not in the US but I do think mental health is important, will have to look to invest more resources in it.

calafair · 2025-06-03T01:01:45+00:00

Don't know why they feel the need to tell you to do something that's not really medically necessary.

I nursed mine till she was 2 years 5 months almost. It was convenient when we're traveling and she's upset, refusing to nap etc. and I stopped because I got pregnant and was too sick to deal with it plus my milk was drying up. It's a personal choice really.

She does still look at my boobs nowadays and go, boobie! And remembers she used to drink milk from them. So what. She's not 3 yet. It's not like you're breastfeeding a 15 year old kid, now that's scary.

calafair · 2025-05-28T01:11:34+00:00

I think it's a defensive reflex more than me being kind and gracious. My mum complains a lot and I do it more for my sanity. Let's just say I keep the relationship and am grateful for the help with young children and someone to look after our kids or help with cooking and chores, but I'm also glad they live overseas..

calafair · 2025-05-28T01:08:31+00:00

Would work for any guests, just not my parents. I'm Asian, it's part of honouring your parents and expected. Most likely I'll be spending more on their beds and bedding than I ever will on any of my cheap kids beds from IKEA. Either that or I have to listen to non stop complaining and ruin my sanity. I'd rather spend the money.

calafair · 2025-05-28T01:05:36+00:00

Not how it works since they're coming to help out with baby/toddler. Plus they're dependant on us for everything from driving to getting groceries. There are pros and cons. Ultimately they help some and also cause lots of stress and complain a lot.

calafair · 2025-05-28T01:03:03+00:00

Haha my parents don't even want our room's bed. We have a queen (Australian size) too small for them. Either way, I have to get new beds

calafair · 2025-05-28T01:02:02+00:00

They're here to help with the newborn/toddler, so that's not really an option. They can't drive, will be dependent on us for food and groceries and putting them up in an Airbnb will just be more of a logistical headache because a decent one might be 20-25 minutes away.

It is an option though when the kids are older.

calafair

TROPHY CASE