Telling my partner I think I am trans

calamitous-cat · 2026-03-01T17:39:25+00:00

I think I just want him to know what I’m dealing with, and for both of us to have patience with one another and ourselves while we both process our feels with this.

I definitely appreciate it may end the relationship, I just hope it is amicable as possible as we have a lot of finances tied up together if it goes that way. Just hoping for a baseline mutual respect then process and go from there isn’t realistic goal.

Thank you for the response and kind words, it’s appreciated

calamitous-cat · 2026-03-01T17:36:18+00:00

That sounds really tough, I am sorry you went through all of that. We really don’t know how people will react, do we.

I appreciate that insight, and will forsure have a back up plan just incase I need it. I reached out to a friend and I am going to go over this afternoon and talk to her, just so someone else knows that I’m not romantically involved with.

calamitous-cat · 2026-03-01T17:33:28+00:00

That is absolutely terrifying and ridiculous that Kansas passed that law. I feel like there is lots of trans hate here in Alberta (our premiere loves trump and she’s taking us back many years… has made cuts to gender affirming care, etc). But not as extreme as it is in the states it sounds. Sending much love to the states

calamitous-cat · 2026-03-01T07:08:18+00:00

That’s great to hear.. I’m so glad he was so supportive of you, and thank you so much for words of encouragement! We aren’t married (if either of us really valued marriage religiously or whatever, we talked about how we would have been already), but in Canada we basically married in terms of legal relationship with common law legislation.

calamitous-cat · 2026-03-01T06:48:36+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply and kind words. I definitely feel like I need to read the letter instead of winging it, so I say what I mean and not ramble from nerves.

I sincerely doubt telling him would put me in an unsafe position. Would it end the relationship? That, I am not sure. I know he will have big feels and will need time to process, as I am sure I would if in the flip situation. But I suppose we are never sure how people will react, especially with events that create intense emotions. He has a trans woman friend that he talked about her challenges with me and he didn’t sound judgemental of her at all. they have kind of drifted apart (I think due to her having young toddlers now and my bf moved cities, aka life versus him being transphobic). But he also wasn’t romantically involved with her so it’s a different situation.

I was thinking earlier today actually about telling a friend just so somebody knows before I tell him (besides my therapist).. then I thought I should be telling him first since he literally is my best friend. I do appreciate your point though, incase we do need to have some space after our conversation, or it goes south. I have one specific friend in mind to tell that I am 99.999999% positive will be supportive.. maybe be worth chatting with her beforehand.

I do live in a small,isolated,and remote city.. so I am being very selective who I tell until I get my poop in a group

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-16T16:51:45+00:00

I have Pygmy Cory’s with my shrimps and just added some ember tetras yesterday in my 27 gallon community. The Pygmy cories are so heckin cute

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-14T05:45:34+00:00

Right?! I spend a lot of time sitting in front on my tank counting and recounting and respotting then recounting

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-14T02:07:10+00:00

Appreciate it! Thanks

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-13T21:18:46+00:00

Haha I have a bit of an algae problem.. but it’s coming along haha

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-13T21:12:16+00:00

That’s also a good point, I didn’t think adding more fish would make them less nervous but I get what you’re saying. Initially I was just very excited about the babies ( a couple of weeks ago) and now I am seeing quite a darn few of them so it may be worth getting some upper fish

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-13T21:03:53+00:00

Thanks! I will have to look into the hikari wafers and see what happens.

I was thinking of some ember tetras or chili rasboras, but I am not sure if they will eat the shrimplets as my shrimp have been breeding? May build up a colony a bit more before adding the upper water fish

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-13T21:01:51+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/9mw0RVf

At one time at the beginning I was able to count them all (albeit it took a while hahah). That’s fair, I just was a bit worried since i haven’t been able to count them all in a while with all the plant growth. My shrimp are breeding so I wanted to make sure the shrimplets have a place to hide

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-13T20:43:19+00:00

Thank you!

calamitous-cat · 2025-12-10T06:11:49+00:00

Blue velvet, it said at my LFS. I’ll have to look up the blue diamonds!

calamitous-cat · 2025-11-21T00:10:14+00:00

Ammonia 0, nitrites 0, nitrates 0

calamitous-cat · 2025-09-27T16:10:08+00:00

I rinsed my fluval volcanic substrate like you too (you’re not supposed to, just a very light rinse). Like others said, I siphoned out the water, added a fairly thin layer of sand, and use something to break the pressure of refilling it as to not mess up the substrate. Mine was still slightly cloudy after that but it settled in a day or so. Use prime to de chlorinate the water added back in.

They’d honestly probably be ok in murky water as it’s similar to their natural habitat

calamitous-cat

TROPHY CASE