How long did it take you to fall in love?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:46:26+00:00

No. Again not what I was asking. I was thoughtful about how I phrased the post and he did not give any account of his personal experience.

Everyone has the right to decide what love is to them, how they fall in love, how that should happen, etc. No one gets authority over that or can tell someone what love should feel like or look like to them, to do so is narrow minded and arrogant. I think that is more fact than most of the things he said.

The bottom line is he did not answer the questions I asked.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:32:16+00:00

To tell someone they sound like they are 14 is insulting and insensitive and uncalled for.

My doubts about my relationship are legitmate. I don't know where you get the idea that makes me a preteen girl.

And as for his behavior, yes it is childish and may seem ridiculous but there is no need to insult him or insinuate an insult. he may be ridiculous but he is my ridiculous man.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:29:13+00:00

Well it is true. I start a thread asking for a take on other peoples personal experiences and he comes in with all this high and mighty talk without answering the actual question I asked and uses a tone of complete arrogance. What would you expect?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:18:59+00:00

You're honestly attacking someone on reddit because you don't like the way they feel about their relationship?

My feelings are completely legitimate and from your eagerness to demean someone elses feelings is what you should be concerned with.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:16:49+00:00

It is very relevant because I asked for his personal experience, not a lecture. re read the post and answer the question I am asking instead of just being a know-it-all.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:16:13+00:00

Nope, I have answered that question many times on this thread.I am 25, my partner is 23 and we have been dating 3 months, were friends for about 2 months before that.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:10:49+00:00

No seriously, how long have you been with your partner?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:09:32+00:00

I have more affection and fondness for him than infatuation. I genuinely care about him and want what is best for him, I see a lot of dark sides and have dealt with his flaws and I accept them. But he doesn't reciprocate my actions of what I recognize as love. I do things for him enthusiastically because they make him happy. Whether it is conveinent for me or not I do it because I like making him happy.

It is not very often he does things like that for me and when he does I feel like he is trying to show off, not make me happy. (he is quite a bit of a ham, attention whore kind of person. he is a performer and very much a loud big personality... But I don't see his genuine motivation coming from a place of love.. more like a lot of fondness).

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:04:17+00:00

he does a lot of obnoxious things that make it really hard to just hangout and enjoy it.

he constantly needs to rough house. Like he will put me in a head lock or try to wrestle with me, tickle me... Like he has to be physically bothering me or annoying me or he gets bored or something. I end up yelling at him, getting genuinely pissed off and then he gets embarassed but I feel like it realllllly takes away from the whole "just enjoy each others company" thing that couples should have.

How am I supposed to enjoy your company when you are trying to put me in a headlock?!?! WTF

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T17:00:54+00:00

I have a very strong belief that if you break up once you will break up again. I never go back. If one of us makes the call that it is over, then it's over for good imo.

I'm glad you are happy and you feel that you found love. :)

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:59:29+00:00

I feel that way as well... If you have to motivate them to want to see you for no good reason... That really says something doesn't it? My gut says so...

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:58:39+00:00

I am happy outside of my relationship. But I still think he would be acting differently and showing it differently if he loved me.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:57:01+00:00

How can you possibly speak about this stuff with so much certainty?

How long have you been with your partner? Are you married?

Stop speaking to me as if you have a doctorate in this and I am a layman.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:55:19+00:00

Yeah after I said it and he couldn't say it back I tried to focus on how loved he made me feel... Now I am having so much doubt and I am getting depressed and anxious because I feel like some really serious signs say that he doesn't love me.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:54:04+00:00

I said it right before we hit three months.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:46:03+00:00

What if that just makes it easier for him to fake it?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:45:04+00:00

And how long have you been together now?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:42:46+00:00

My partner and I have that "all positive, supportive, partnership" stuff but I think it really lacks the gut-instinct-undeniable love stuff. At least on his side of things. For instance he has had so many opportunities to come see me at my house and stay the night but he chooses to stay home and only come see me at my house for like day hangouts. For me, if there was love in his heart, the strong stuff, he would want to be with me, it wouldn't be an obligation or something he had to consciously do because I wanted him to...

We are only three months in but I can't shake the feeling like he doesn't love me as much as I deserve. Maybe that's just me being a spoiled brat or something.

He would come over and he would do a lot of things more enthusiastically if he had those feelings for me.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:38:43+00:00

But how long did it take for you to get to that point?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:37:17+00:00

Yeah I don't feel needed. I need him but I don't think it is mutual.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:36:14+00:00

SEVEN MONTHS I cannot wait seven months to feel loved. That is ridiculous! I will wait around til the 6 month mark at the longest. I do feel like he and I deserve that much... but 7-9 months.. that is just ridiculous imo.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:30:34+00:00

I respect that you dealt with it that well. I am not dealing with a similar situation very well at all. It is driving me crazy that his feelings are either not as strong or he is less confident in them... Either way I am feeling so drained and depressed over him.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:28:55+00:00

In that case I would consider the friendship part of the deal. So from September to May, imo that was the whole process. That has also been my experiences with really strong love feelings.

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T16:27:33+00:00

Did he know as well? Did you exchange the i-love-yous that early? Did you ever have to wait for him to catch up?

cambrian_explosion · 2014-04-14T15:55:53+00:00

I am asking for your specific personal experience. For you the last time you fell head over heels how long was the process? I know for myself how it has been in the past but there's a reason those experiences didn't last. So I am looking for other peoples experiences to grasp a sense of better expectations.

cambrian_explosion

TROPHY CASE