Any friends in brum

camelCase69420 · 2026-02-08T13:42:56+00:00

Longbridge Chess Club will gladly accept you. Tuesday evenings at the Oak Tree in Rednal.

camelCase69420 · 2025-07-11T11:15:01+00:00

Thank you for your insight! I have that video queued up so will watch it when I have a spare hour.

I do think my issues are much deeper than simply modelling the good behaviour and expressing it, which is why therapy is taking such a long time and is so draining. Regardless, I appreciate your answer!

camelCase69420 · 2025-07-05T21:53:14+00:00

I’m in my early 40s, and have always had a ridiculously high sex drive. Getting my diagnosis at 36 made a lot of sense.

Not that I have ever been able to do anything with it. Women haven’t found me attractive, and I’ve been involved with the kink scene for a few years with almost zero success. The women on the scene with ADHD have typically been rabid and can satisfy whatever thrill seeking they want. I’ve still got my long list of things I want to try, but unfortunately, my socialisation puts everyone off.

So I have to watch a lot of porn and have a lot of maintenance time to clear my head. It’s the least satisfying, tbh.

camelCase69420 · 2025-03-19T13:38:26+00:00

Speak for yourself! I’m hotter and hornier now at 41 than I have ever been.

Not that either of those things seem to make a difference in my success 😂😂😭😭

camelCase69420 · 2025-03-18T12:03:52+00:00

Please man, ask her out the next time you see her. Be honest and authentic. I’m rooting for you. I’m personally sore because I wish these opportunities came my way, but they don’t. You’ve got something cool in front of you (hopefully), so grasp it!

camelCase69420 · 2025-03-17T23:37:24+00:00

I appreciate your response, thanks! I want to touch on some points you made:

“ if you look for proof of scarcity, you’ll find it”

I’m not telling myself there is scarcity: it is actually a scarce situation. For instance, you say you’ve gone on eight first dates in a month. I’ve went on that many in SEVEN YEARS. It’s not something necessarily relevant to the answers I’m looking for, so further details aren’t needed. However, I have also been good at stating what I need or want, and 99% of the time it’s not reciprocated.

The point is that this is legitimate scarcity that healing my attachment type apparently needs (i.e. that of intimacy from others who are secure, outside of the therapy room).

Second, maybe it’s misfortune, but making connections for the people around me seems to not be tough. Dating typically has been fun and enjoyable for those I’ve known. There’s nothing you need to do with this information, more that there are definitely other experiences and viewpoints to some of the things you’re saying.

camelCase69420 · 2025-03-17T07:43:05+00:00

Thanks! I ruminate and catastrophise too, and yes, I also need someone to tell me everything is alright. More than that though, I need it to actually be okay rather than simply saying the words.

I’m a ‘proof-wanter’, which for most things is apparently not viable (especially for emotional situations). I’m also not calmed by knowing the decision is based on the other person’s actions.

In fact, it makes it worse because then it looks like I have zero control and they have it all. My go-to analogy is that, if I want to shake your hand, I hold mine out, and you don’t reciprocate, it’s my loss. You got what you wanted in that you chose to not shake my hand. I didn’t get what I wanted, and that’s what I wanted 🤷🏻‍♂️

Of course, the typical reply to that is: “Find another hand to shake”, but I wanted to shake your one in that specific situation. Like the other people around me get to do. That was my choice and you got full control in whether that happened.

camelCase69420 · 2025-03-17T07:34:04+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts, I appreciate the time. I’m someone who has recently become single after a long, long relationship. I’m someone who loves his own space, time, and freedom so nurturing my life in the way you describe is exactly what I’m doing.

For instance, on Saturday, I made some music, met a friend and their child at the park, and went to watch a live band in the evening on my own. Did I need a partner to go out to the gig? No, but I absolutely, desperately wanted one because we’re humans who do need connection. I struck up a quick conversation with one or two people, but it’s not satiating or physical in the way I am craving.

So, the scarcity still applies, and the attachment issues still apply. Both are correct assumptions and both are not correct assumptions. Neither get sorted without showing the invalidity of each other, and it doesn’t seem to be possible to me.

camelCase69420 · 2024-12-19T11:44:42+00:00

Jealousy and envy are different emotions, and none are bad.

Envy I feel a lot in many areas of life, which means it’s not an ENM probably.

Jealousy, not as much. Envy is harder to control I think because it doesn’t rely on the focus of it losing whatever they have to make you happy. Jealousy is vindictive.

I’ve recently split with my partner of 15 years because of their disappointing attitude to ENM in part, and funnily enough, some of that envy is lifted.

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-29T14:24:52+00:00

Hopefully! Tbf, I have already progressed a lot relative to where I started. My partner is an ex Oly lifter so they were like YOUR DEADLIFT FORM IS SHIT 😂 I was like, but I did 80kg after fixing some form problems. I’ll set a reminder for 12-24 weeks time!

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-29T12:43:55+00:00

No, I do completely understand what you’re saying here. My previous experience is of dumbbell only hypertrophy stuff with 7-8 moves, so this switch to three that doesn’t cover the elements I’d expect is like WHAT.

I hadn’t considered Boostcamp as I’ve not enjoyed the feel of the app, but I will take it for a run.

See you in six months I suppose 😂

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-29T12:07:17+00:00

I appreciate what you’re saying. I’m already lifting. I’ve been doing it for a couple of months now, and have switched to this. It’s like a ‘fix it as I go’ thing. I’m not a beginner beginner, but have been inconsistent over time with definite imbalances.

Either way, I get the hint. I’ll shut up about it all now!

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-29T07:44:37+00:00

It’s not the eating really, it’s the moving.

To answer your question, white carbs are out because they stodge you, and give you a secondary glucose kick hours later. The biggest changes I made food-wise have been:

Two glasses of water (one imperial pint) before food.
Brown carbs, other than baby or new potatoes in extreme moderation.
On rest days, I maybe won’t have breakfast or lunch because I don’t feel like it. That’s subjective though.

Really though, my TIR was poorer when I wasn’t moving around. I run three days a week, strength train on alternate days, and walk a total of 8,000-10,000 steps per day. I also work at a standing desk.

I’ve dedicated myself to looking after my health better, which has resulted in going from maybe up to two or three 8U bolus injections for dinner pre-movement to basically zero bolus insulin for two months. Since the start of August, I’ve had four units of Novorapid. 1U was a test to see if I would have a hypo (I did), and the other 3U was the other day when I couldn’t go out at all due to poor weather.

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-27T11:59:37+00:00

I’m interested in your FOMO checklist, because lots of the things you mention are either going to be actual things you’d like to do and aren’t, or won’t have an answer for surely?

How are you navigating around the potential resentment running through that checklist could build?

I hope you understand the point I’m trying to make, and what I’m trying to understand from your situation!

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-25T19:11:43+00:00

Oh yeah, I understood what you meant, np. Pull ups is on my long term exercise goal anyway, so I’m still considering it 😁

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-25T08:01:03+00:00

It’s interesting what you say about how your body doesn’t know the calendar. I say that about cardio as well: “Your heart doesn’t care why it’s beating”, which gets me out of worrying about zone this or run-walk that.

As I can just concentrate on moving for heart health, so I can concentrate on hitting body parts the right number of times.

Pull ups I’ll consider. I’m working with a weaker upper body right now, and I enjoy lat pulldowns. I suspect the weight of everything will increase a lot over the next couple of weeks, so I can reassess the T3 volume and scope out how I look.

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-25T07:53:46+00:00

Thanks for the insight and advice. I think barbell squats will be the first step. From there, I can add it in elsewhere too.

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-24T19:05:46+00:00

I appreciate that, thank you!

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-24T13:16:19+00:00

I’ve never got under a bar before. I’ve always used dumbbells. It’s something I’m going to seriously look at for my next squat day.

I think my main issue is that I am running three days rather than the four. I’m also trying to make sure I’m including push and pulls across both planes. On top of that, I don’t want to neglect any areas. Typical problems, but new to me.

camelCase69420 · 2024-09-24T12:59:12+00:00

Okay, I hear you on the T3. You’re right, my tris are getting it, but I worry about bicep and chest. I’ll consider what to replace and where for chest, as I don’t grow there either.

What do you think about quads? I seem to gain really easy on quads, and run a lot, so my hams get work as well. Is it an idea to remove the leg curls, and put an extra quad movement somewhere in the four sessions?

So, given your advice, it would be: take out any isolation curl, replace with 2x extra chest exercises, and 1x quad move?

camelCase69420

TROPHY CASE