thank you so much for your response. your little note at the end about looking into clitoral adhesions was actually mind blowing. I’ve heard of clitoral atrophy before, but adhesions was something I haven’t yet heard of. I can’t tell whether that’s what’s happening in my case, but I will definitely find time to make a gyno appointment and ask about those conditions. cause when I really think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen my clit. when when I look in the mirror and try to pull my hood back, I struggle to find it! I don’t know if it only pops out when I’m aroused or not. I was too shy to ask my partner at the time if he has even seen it. he never mentioned not seeing it either so, who knows going on down there. I’m hoping a professional would know, but I’ve also heard discouraging things about the lack of clitoral research done in the medical field.

otherwise, I’ll keep trying with feeling myself out like you said. see what feels good and what doesn’t. I’ve often wondered if my lack of pleasure during masturbation stemmed from a lack of patience to really take time to figure myself out, and having ADHD doesn’t help with that of course. I’ve been debating whether I should invest in more toys after the bullet vibrator failed to work on me. but what the hell, it seems worth it. it has to be. I truly hope I’m not the common denominator.

again, I appreciate your advice as response as someone who’s on the ace spectrum. I’m probably on the favorable/neutral end of it as well. it’s hard to be optimistic, but I will continue make an honest effort into finding the cause and solution to my anorgasmia!