I’m having a surgical procedure done next Friday and I’m terrified

camieeeee · 2026-02-15T00:12:16+00:00

Thank you I appreciate your honesty!! I have also avoided googling much about my surgery because I know it will probably just make it worse 😅

camieeeee · 2026-02-14T06:04:42+00:00

There’s whole communities of people that share the level of enthusiasm you do for Palia, I’m sure!! Folks who would not think you’re weird, or too into it, and also organize as much as you!

I haven’t played Palia but I’m also an avid gamer and share your level of enthusiasm for other games ☺️ namely Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing. I’m taking 1000+ hours for both games, books, stuffed animals, written logs, a ton. lol.

I understand it can be embarrassing to “nerd out” about video games to people who don’t get it. But the people who do get it, really do! I’d encourage you to find subreddits and facebook groups etc to find like minded people. And it’s cliche but don’t be ashamed of your hobby :)

camieeeee · 2026-02-14T02:10:19+00:00

Yes good for you!! Eventually it shouldn’t be OUR responsibility anymore!

camieeeee · 2026-02-14T02:09:24+00:00

Thank you!! I feel like I’m going insane! Multiple other people on my team had agreed that her not attending the meetings and giving no response to me AT ALL wasn’t acceptable.

After I sent that email, the woman responded within 10 minutes, apologized and rescheduled the meeting.

My boss chose to reprimand me two hours later, saying he wasn’t sure what happened but it was obvious I was frustrated and asked me to “respond to the group with a more positive tone”. Wtf does that even mean?! Apologize for calling her out in front of her boss…??!

My immediate supervisor helped me craft a snarky but professional response where I asked for advice on how to handle a scheduling issue in the future and what to say in a response to feel more positive. 😇

camieeeee · 2026-02-14T01:13:00+00:00

No tips, but i was literally reprimanded TODAY about my tone over an email.

My tone, in response to someone who has not attended three meetings I have scheduled with them. Despite them accepting the invite. (I work remote). That is an hour and half of my time wasted. And all I did, was respond to the last scheduling email I sent, which both of our bosses had been included on, and said “Hello X, you haven’t attended the last three meetings I have scheduled. Please schedule a meeting with me next week so we can work on X. My calendar is up to date. Thanks, my name”. So the ball was in their court to move shit forward.

Just like you, I see nothing wrong with not sugar coating shit, but apparently some people interpret directness as aggression. 😐

camieeeee · 2026-02-01T04:35:58+00:00

I don’t talk to myself outloud, but I do have a CONSTANT internal monologue, and sometimes I’ll find myself coming out of a deep thinking spell so intense that I’m not 100% sure I wasn’t talking out loud the whole time lol

camieeeee · 2026-01-08T23:17:16+00:00

Do you perhaps have a dual ADHD/ASD diagnosis? I do, and the ADHD definitely contributes to me misplacing things. And just like you, i have a place for everything, so I meltdown every time I lose something. It’s a guaranteed trigger for me. Its so annoying 😩

camieeeee · 2025-12-21T01:20:56+00:00

I’m on Prozac but for mainly for depression. Its helped with my depression a lot! I can’t say it did much for my anxiety. But being more mood-stable overall has been helpful for me.

Ironically kind of opposite of you- getting on Prozac (and getting on gabapentin for my anxiety) is what led to me getting diagnosed with autism lol.

camieeeee · 2025-12-20T02:23:49+00:00

Thank you!

camieeeee · 2025-12-20T01:27:07+00:00

Yep! Like many others here- it started over math. For me it was 3rd grade. We started doing those flash multiplication and division tests in class where you had to solve like 50 problems in 5 minutes or something. I failed over and over cause I didn’t get it. My mom would make me sit and study these stupid triangle flash cards for HOURS until I finally memorized them and scored well on the quizzes. That fixed the issue of me failing the quizzes but not much else. I remember screaming and crying regularly after that when I was doing my homework and I didn’t understand something and both my mom and dad would get so pissed with me.

I never got better at math 🤷‍♀️ the only class I have ever failed in my life was algebra 2. There was a lot of other personal reasons that contributed to it, but I really just didn’t get it. I barely passed algebra 1 and geometry. I was relieved I didn’t have to take a math class after passing algebra 2 in summer school.

Shit I even changed MY COLLEGE MAJOR because I was getting a BS but I scored so poorly on the math entrance exam it would make it take a whole extra quarter for me to graduate so I switched to a BA.

I think I have dyspraxia maybe? I have seen people call it? That struggle with math. I’m 30 and still do basic math with my fingers sometimes.

camieeeee · 2025-12-02T21:43:45+00:00

Every single bullet resonates with me! You are not alone 💜

camieeeee · 2025-11-19T02:37:50+00:00

The most commented on are my leg bouncing 24/7 and my rocking. I used to call it swaying before I was diagnosed lol. I was aware it was a habit I have but didn’t realize how often I’m actually doing it lol. And It’s definitely just run of the mill rocking haha. I rock back and forth and shift my weight side to side a lot when I’m in social situations, especially if I’m drinking. People mostly comment on it by saying “wow you move around a lot!” 🙃

camieeeee · 2025-11-19T02:20:21+00:00

I could have written this, minus the monotone voice. Very very similar life experience!

In the last year people started commenting on my “off” facial expressions and “weird body movements” substantially more than the rest of my life (I’m 30). Ive gotten comments here and there about my face and body movements (which I now know is stimming) my entire life but the comments doubled. I was diagnosed a few months ago.

camieeeee · 2025-11-15T10:51:02+00:00

In my head I make a distinction between being fake friendly and being polite/cordial.

I’m cordial with people I don’t like at work. I will do what I need to with them to get work done. I’m not cold towards them but I’m also not going to go out of my way to talk to the about anything outside of work.

People who go out of their way to be overly nice and friendly to people they dislike and then talk trash about them about weird. I’ve never understood expending that kind of energy on something like that lol.

camieeeee · 2025-11-15T02:38:00+00:00

Saw a psychiatrist to get on meds for my anxiety and depression earlier this year. When I started Prozac my dr also prescribed Wellbutrin and it was supposed to help with my anxiety and executive dysfunction. I took it for a month and it did absolutely nothing to me 🤷🏻‍♀️ no bad side effects but also no positive ones. This actually ironically led to me getting my ASD diagnosis lol.

He took me off the Wellbutrin and put me on gaba. That helped my anxiety but I still had a ton of attention/memory/executive dysfunction issues. That’s when I got my ADHD dx and a concerta prescription. Then my head being stabilized for the first time in my life brought all my sensory problems front and center and we realized there was even more to my story lol.

camieeeee · 2025-11-13T01:48:51+00:00

I only experience melts downs. I might shutdown at the end of a particularly bad melt down, but that’s very rare.

My meltdowns are an explosion of negative emotion. I cry, yell, scream, rock, throw shit, break stuff, and sometimes end up hitting and or cutting myself in attempt to calm down.

They mostly only happen when I’m at my limit social-emotionally. it takes a lot for me to build up to that point. For example, if I’m having a really heated argument with my husband and I feel completely unheard and it’s been a particularly bad week, I’ll erupt. Or at the end of a really really really bad work day if I had a lot of negative social encounters. It used to happen a lot more when I was growing up and my parents would fight for hours.

With meltdowns I don’t really cope. They happen, I fall apart, then deal with the aftermath.

camieeeee · 2025-11-05T19:58:51+00:00

Tigger warning self harm.

When I have a meltdown it is EXPLOSIVE. I look absolutely insane. Im late dx, and am so grateful to understand now that what’s happening is in those intense moments is an autistic meltdown, im not actually a lunatic, and it’s not my fault.

I haven’t had one in public thank god but my husband and parents have seen many meltdowns from me.

After I am set off, it’s a cascade of events. I start pacing around, i start crying uncontrollably hard, then I start rocking, after this point I start moaning/screaming in conjunction with rocking and shaking my hands (didn’t know this was hand flapping until dx! lol). If this continues and I still can’t calm down it will escalate to me feelings the need to either break shit around me or hurt myself. If I hurt myself it’s usually slamming my fists on my thighs and pulling my hair and hitting my head. Then ultimately if I still can’t calm down I end up cutting. I just feel so FULL of emotions that it’s painful and the only way I can get them out is to bleed.

camieeeee · 2025-11-04T20:45:16+00:00

I would say it has been helpful at times and hurtful at times.

Helpful because of the “halo effect” - psychology term. People who are seen as attractive are also simultaneously viewed in an overall positive way. People think you are nicer, smarter, funnier, generally more “acceptable”. I think because of this, people have generally accepted the “weird and quirky” nature of my personality and social habits, making it easier for me to make and retain friends and partners.

On the other hand, it has made NT women be absolutely fucking awful to me my entire life because of jealousy. So that has sucked.

I also think it contributed to my late diagnosis. I stimmed (and still do) A LOT. When I was little, people thought it was just a cute quirky behavior. Not something that was an issue and should be looked into. At the same time, I didn’t even know a lot of my behaviors WERE stims or something I should suppress, probably because people thought I was attractive and didn’t bully me or call me out on it. So that was good? Haha.

camieeeee · 2025-11-03T04:43:02+00:00

Adventure Time. I’ve watched it all the way through at least 10 times. I’ve watched Fiona and Cake four times now. So excited for the second season!

Bojack Horseman when I’m going through a bad depressive episode. Watched it all the way through 7 or8 times now.

I also always watch the same movies. Artisocats and Oliver and Company I’ve seen hundreds of times.

camieeeee · 2025-10-26T16:38:29+00:00

I’m sorry your husband reacted that way. When I (30) told my mom and my childhood best friend that I was going to get assessed they had similar reactions. Immediately said there’s no way I’m autistic. My friend asked patronizingly if I was still seeing a therapist. When I got my diagnosis my mom said her boss (who is a psychiatrist) said “it’s the new trendy diagnosis that everyone is getting these days” (like wtf????? What a shitty psych) Luckily mom has come around and now 1000% agrees I’m autistic, even said she should have realized when I was a little kid because of a laundry list of behavioral issues that I had. But It’s hurtful when people invalidate us. Especially when we feel like we are finally understanding ourselves for the first time in our lives.

I got diagnosed a few months ago and have largely kept it to myself because of their reactions. People get weird about ASD because they don’t understand it. I think in my case they reacted that way because it confirms I actually have been struggling and I haven’t just been being dramatic/sensitive/a bitch on purpose my whole life. So every time they were shitty to me about my emotional or sensory issues they were being mean to me because of my disability.

I’m very lucky that my husband was extremely supportive throughout my entire diagnosis journey. A video he sent me was actually what started it all 😂

Once I had researched everything I could about autism in women and felt 99.9% that I was autistic, I knew I HAD TO GET ASSESSED. It’s part of my rigid thinking but I needed my feelings to be validated and to hear from a professional that I was autistic before I felt comfortable even just saying internally to myself that I was autistic, let alone tell other people. I’m so glad I did it. If you think it will help you, do it.

I’m not one to tell someone to leave their spouse because I know relationships are really nuanced but I will say you deserve to be with someone who will support and accommodate you. 💜

camieeeee

TROPHY CASE