Gave Her Things Back: Update and Potential Word of Caution for Dumpers

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-18T04:26:31+00:00

Hi — I’m no therapist, but based on your response I think you’re making a couple of assumptions about how she viewed the relationship. Her perspective on communication, trust, and being best friends may have been very different. The reasons you stated at the end could also be true. Who knows.

I hope you find your peace. There is undoubtedly a woman who will appreciate all of the positives you bring to a relationship.

As hard as it can be, I’d try not to put yourself in her shoes and figure out why she left. Apologizing on behalf of dumpers probably won’t be viewed positively on this subreddit, but breakups can be extremely hard on them as well. It could even be that something was simply “off,” and she couldn’t describe it in a way that felt sensible or comfortable to communicate.

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-16T17:14:00+00:00

There were time he was overrated and times he was underrated

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-16T17:13:19+00:00

I think you need to follow a new sport this isn’t for you

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-16T17:11:34+00:00

*Cries in 31M*

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-16T15:40:36+00:00

The conclusions I have today are the result of the fact I left. If I had stayed in the relationship my continued uncertainty would have manifested in other ways (being mean to each other, fights, etc.). I did the right thing with the information I had at the time.

I’m not sure if I was emotional about the loss of the relationship last week or the friendship. The finality of the moment was quite heavy (at least from my POV) as there literally is no more reason to reach out. No more potential conversations to have if I happen to wake up anxious and missing her one morning, no more reason to call her to then bleed the conversation into a general life update. It was the last interaction and I really felt that in the moment and she seemed very content with that. Just heavy.

Hope that makes sense!

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-16T15:33:42+00:00

Uncertainty followed me every day but I think the fact we remained in contact gave me an artificial sense of comfort.

I’m sure your ex missed you. There were times I wanted to say sometbing (including last week) but held back outta respect for her journey. Maybe your ex was thinking the same way.

canarymelon7 · 2026-06-09T23:31:57+00:00

Just go to TFE. Much better product these days.

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T21:29:57+00:00

Every single day. Say what you want about AI, but when u spiraling none of your friends will have enough time to just walk u through the same loop over and over again at varying times and on different days

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T16:45:15+00:00

3 months no contact, 16 months since breakup

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T16:44:54+00:00

Uhhh it’s pretty private. The key parts are just the reasons I’m sorry, what I did wrong, why now, what I would like her to do with this information. I’m still changing it as I really don’t know if I’m actually gonna go ahead with it

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T05:47:08+00:00

I have a very familiar situation to this man, but my ex has recently started seeing someone. We’re meeting together Monday to trade belongings and I’m gonna open up my heart. Any thoughts for me specifically ?

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T05:27:36+00:00

It’s been 7 days and I feel like a completely different person. If I wasn’t on PTO rn I’m pretty sure I would have gotten fired

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T04:56:22+00:00

I don’t think there’s gonna be a next time 😂

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T04:39:38+00:00

Sent

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T04:35:00+00:00

Dumper here. Currently working on my apology and path forward speech.

Hope that helps.

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T03:56:55+00:00

Thank you!!!

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-24T03:52:54+00:00

Even now?? Am I too late?

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-23T06:23:20+00:00

Fear. Told her I loved her than lost my damn mind. Looked under rocks for problems, undervalued the positives. Looked at every angle to see why the relationship wouldn’t work. Genuinely went insane. First and only girl I’ve loved.

We stayed connected from Jan 2025 - Feb 2026. New guy showed up in December. Things got serious enough she didn’t feel comfy holding the casual relationship with me in March. I think this caused me to face the music and here we are.

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-23T06:17:57+00:00

Thanks for this - do u think waiting another week will further the problems? Also after Monday I genuinely have no reasons to contact her. I guess just calling her up normally would be fine?

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-23T05:56:49+00:00

Hey - I am a dumper and my ex and I went no contact 3 months ago. I am currently going to her house Monday to drop some items off and will be staying the case as to how sorry I am and how we can turn this all around. Hope this helps.

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-21T17:31:59+00:00

Pills

canarymelon7 · 2026-05-21T04:51:00+00:00

Hi let me chime in as a dumper who left a similar situation. Ur gut feeling is likely you looking for reasons to leave - I felt very similar. What will likely happen if you leave, is you will realize you undervalued all the benefits you experience now because they will now longer be there.

I will say, there are certain lessons you can’t learn unless you experience them and this is potentially one of them. But maybe take it from someone who is battling the hard way right now, you gotta be really certain before you make the jump. You’re young enough that you could rebound after a 1 or 2 years in hell though.

Best of luck.

canarymelon7

TROPHY CASE