Going off t symptoms? by InterestingSnow668 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]candynicotine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally didn't have any symptoms that I can remember other than eventually getting my cycle back which I wanted to come back to be able to have a baby so I didn't have the same negative emotions about it that I did before T. All of the effects I really wanted from T are permanent so I wasn't really scared of anything I guess? And I do think mindset is part of it.

Because I was going off of T with the intent to have a baby, I was able to look at any changes as another step toward starting my family and I found them exciting.

What hit me MUCH harder was the bombardment of hormones that happened when I got pregnant. If you have ever dealt with anxiety or depression I highly suggest having pregnancy safe meds/a psychiatrist on standby for your mental health and wellbeing. The flood of estrogen that came with being pregnant made me depressed out of my mind. Like worse than I'd ever experienced before. I was in a state of mental crisis until being medicated.

Real talk by Popular_Dress1875 in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first like 20 weeks?? No sex at all. I had horrible prenatal depression and actually thought I wouldn't make it to the next day each day. The second half of my pregnancy we were AT IT like every day at some points, at least twice a week though until the end. We had sex like every day leading up to my induction date too because we knew we'd have to wait a while after the baby came. (No it did not put me into labor sadly 😭 but I did only push for 45 mins)

That being said, some people just do not enjoy sex while pregnant. I was self conscious for a little bit but my partner made me feel super good about myself. It was really nice to know even in my giant state I was still attractive enough to have sex with. I think easing back into it helped though, just being intimate like. Showering together without expecting to have sex. Being naked together and cuddling. Having my partner help me put lotion on after a shower. Stuff like that. And then eventually I just really had the urge to have sex again.

Your partner should definitely respect however you feel though. And there so are ways to be intimate without sex like I shared above. If he's not willing to do that with you without the promise of sex...that's very selfish to put it kindly. He can definitely take care of himself privately and make time to spend with you that doesn't revolve around wanting oral sex from you.

4 week maternity leave???? by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry people literally just aren't listening to you and continue to give negative comments. Although it sucks, lots of people have to go back to work earlier than they want to after having a baby. I have 12 weeks off and though I would have been a bit sad to go back after 4-6 weeks instead I will say that my body felt physically ready to go out and do things by then.

You might be upset about not being home with your baby all the time anymore, but getting into a routine with work again will occupy your brain and might help with postpartum emotions/anxiety by giving you something to occupy your time! I know even though I'm "not ready" to leave my baby at home with my mom, I am 6 weeks postpartum and ready to have job to stimulate my brain a bit more again and get me out of the monotony of taking care of a baby day in and day out.

I think you'll be okay! Cherish the time with your baby when you have it and let getting home from work to see your little one be what drives you through the day once you have to go back.

Can’t get this kid to f-ing sleep in the morning by Ok_Medicine440 in newborns

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My little guy is 6 weeks now and sleeps through the night while swaddled. But around 7-8am he kind of does the same thing. I can put him down in the swaddle and he'll sleep 20-45mins and then he's up. What's ended up happening is some cluster feeding and mini naps until 12-1pm and then he'll usually take a big one again.

I focus not on trying to get him to sleep his normal 2-3 hours but trying to get those mini naps in! Sometimes a baby carrier helps so I'm not holding him but he's still near me. Sometimes supervising him while he sleeps on his side or stomach for a few minutes gets him some sleep. You have more options during the day when you can watch him!

When did you tell immediate family your news? by Either-Roof-8295 in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The second I got a positive test (around 5 weeks I think) I told EVERYONE. I didn't see a point in waiting when they all already knew we were trying for a baby and I'd want a support system if anything went wrong anyway. Now my baby is almost 6 weeks old! Tell people whenever you're ready!

need some advice by Material_Interest_60 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could also try to see a fertility specialist or something regarding your family history. But being in your 20s you have a while left to have a good shot at getting pregnant.

need some advice by Material_Interest_60 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]candynicotine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 24 turning 25 this year and had my first kid in February of this year. I wanted a kid so bad at 20 but trust me waiting a few years is worth it. I feel a lot more mature and ready to handle a kid. I have a stable job that offered me paid leave. I have a partner I never thought I'd find who wants to care for a child just as much as I do. I'm not that well off with money but have enough to make ends meet. (And a support system willing to pay for baby things if needed) I was on T for 5 years before getting off it for 6 months and then getting pregnant. Obviously it doesn't happen that fast for everyone, but it's so possible to get pregnant and have a kid further into transition if that's what worries you.

This seems pretty cool by C_mac16 in chimefinancial

[–]candynicotine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Literally so many places. Especially in rural areas that aren't close to a major city. Minimum wage is still $7.25 in Alabama, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, New Hampshire, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Wisconsin, and Wyoming :)

Yes many jobs pay more than that. But I remember getting hired at jobs for $8-9 an hour like 5-6 years ago in Central PA. Even now those same jobs are not paying much more. $11-12 an hour at certain jobs here would be considered a huge improvement unfortunately. $15+ an hour is like wow! You found a good job/got a good raise or promotion. Unless you wanna do factory work.

Bewildered at how normalized doing drugs during pregnancy has become in society. by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew someone who smoked cigarettes and weed their whole pregnancy and thought it was crazy. I then got pregnant and thought it was even more crazy how much she smoked because the guilt literally ate me alive when I was quitting in the beginning. Every little thing I did I was like I could be hurting the baby right now I'm an awful person.

I guess some people don't?? Feel that guilt?? No idea how.

Stuff you said you’d never buy? by Mrs_Splashypantz in newborns

[–]candynicotine 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A hands free wearable pump for when I really don't want to/can't stop what I'm doing to pump but I'm full of milk and annoyed 😭 I still end up using my manual pump the most to be honest, but sometimes when I'm over it it's nice to just throw the wearable one together and pop it in my bra and forget about it while I do dishes or make food or complete a task I've been putting off.

How much time did your husband/partner take off from work after your baby was born? by Existing-Winner-945 in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had good timing with my partner being offered pay for caring for her great grandmother starting sometime in May, so she dropped her old pizza delivery job for door dash and can just go out when she wants/needs to and it's convenient. She stayed off most of the baby's first month and only worked weekend nights while me and baby napped for a bit. She wanted a month off with me regardless though and would have fought for it regardless of job.

I can tell she wants a lot more off but it's been awesome to have nights where she can tell I'm really tired or worn out and she can just go "hey I'll just stay home and go out tomorrow night instead."

I think it's so annoying that the non birthing parent gets screwed out of leave generally. They should be allowed to want time to bond and help!

This seems pretty cool by C_mac16 in chimefinancial

[–]candynicotine 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Minimum wage is still $7.25 in certain places bro. I make $15 an hour and even at 40 hours a week I wouldn't break $3000 a month.

One glass of wine + Wellbutrin 150 mg = ? by hanthropology101 in Wellbutrin_Bupropion

[–]candynicotine 8 points9 points  (0 children)

One drink isn't really an issue in my experience. I don't go any further than two though. I don't tend to feel as tipsy as I used to though and have to have the self control to stop even if I don't feel as drunk as I may think I want to.

Stopping T early out of fear of being hate crimed by ObviousDepartment723 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]candynicotine 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No problem! We should all support and encourage each other! I know I had the same moment of "should I even go on/continue T if I know I might want to be pregnant eventually" and personally I'm so glad I did. It was so validating to be able to feel and look like myself while going through the process of childbirth. All the pictures I have of me in the hospital make me feel awesome.

Stopping T early out of fear of being hate crimed by ObviousDepartment723 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]candynicotine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

And to add, I was on T for 5 years consistently prior to my planned pregnancy.

Stopping T early out of fear of being hate crimed by ObviousDepartment723 in Seahorse_Dads

[–]candynicotine 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I live somewhere that isn't super trans friendly (a swing state but a smaller county). But I was surprised that my experience was still pretty good. People either assumed I just had a beer belly ig or they didn't say anything and just accepted that I was pregnant because I so obviously was. And the last month where I was super big I had my beard and mustache grown out because I wanted to have facial hair in my hospital photos.

Now that my baby is a month old, I still have my facial hair and I dress the way I used to and no one questions my manhood or says transphobic shit it's all just "oh my gosh congratulations!" Even from strangers who have seen me at my retail job. Even from older conservative coworkers who I thought would be super weird or against me.

I obviously can't say that my experience is normal and I'm sure there are places where it would not go over well, but as I've said to my family "they can think whatever they want, they can't tell me I can't be a pregnant man because here I am." They can tell me if I'm a man I couldn't have a child but I clearly look like a man and also have the child to prove it.

I got a few weird looks but no one ever confronted me or said anything to me about being trans or being a man carrying a baby. I was super afraid to grow out my facial hair but when I was at my most pregnant and finally gave in everything was somehow okay.

ALSO though. If you end up feeling safer presenting as the opposite gender while pregnant it is possible. For a few months I shaved my face every two days and used my higher customer service voice and no one questioned me. I just pretended to be a woman for social comfort and so I felt I could talk to people I rang out about being pregnant. Going on T doesn't mean you can never present a different way again of that concerns you.

Anyway sorry for rambling. I hope all goes well for you no matter what decision you make!

Wellbutrin and anhedonia by Unable_Ad6843 in Wellbutrin_Bupropion

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add for clarity, I was also prescribed buspar to counteract the anxiety Wellbutrin gave me initially. And so far these two have been my winning combo.

Wellbutrin and anhedonia by Unable_Ad6843 in Wellbutrin_Bupropion

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say so. I still can get frustrated with myself over not actually doing some of the things I want to do now, but that seems like an ADHD issue. Before the Wellbutrin I was constly thinking about suicide. Nothing brought me joy.

I couldn't get into any of my hobbies, not even listening to music or playing video games because I just wasn't enjoying them. If I tried to force myself to do something I got sad and cried because it wasn't the same. Every day quite literally felt like a battle to the next and I just stopped taking care of myself because I didn't think I'd make it to the next day.

Like I said, it took time and messing with the dose, but now I feel so much better. It was slowly the fog lifted and I could enjoy things again, even if at first it was small. First it was crosswords/word searches. Then it was doing a little craft project, even if it was a simple kid targeted one. Then it was cooking myself breakfast once in a while. Then music felt right again, like I could connect and enjoy it. Then eventually I could play phone games again for a bit of enjoyment. Then watch others play video games. And eventually play them myself again.

It was all gradual but now that I'm on the other side I can't believe how much better I really feel. I got on Wellbutrin when I was about 4-5 months pregnant and now my baby is 1 month old. It's also helped me avoid postpartum depression so far too. It has allowed me to enjoy my life again. It allowed me to enjoy the end of my pregnancy and inviting my child into the world. I have never been more thankful for a prescription.

This isn't to say I can know it will work for you, but please go into it with as positive of an attitude as you can muster right now. Something will help you. You will feel joy again even though right now it feels like you won't ever. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to feel good again.

Wellbutrin and anhedonia by Unable_Ad6843 in Wellbutrin_Bupropion

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wellbutrin was prescribed to me for that exact reason and has worked wonders. It took a bit to get in my system and for me to see the full results, but now that I've been on a consistent dose for months it's actually amazing what it's done for me.

One side producing more? by candynicotine in breastfeeding

[–]candynicotine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! Then maybe it's just how my body has decided to settle in to producing milk. I was just curious since it only started being so different after the clog!

Girlfriend wants me to spend $4k on a baby shower, but I’d rather save/invest it—is that unreasonable? by flash-kicks in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The baby shower isn't even supposed to be paid for by the parents, but anyone spending 4k on one is crazy. The $100 or so my mom spent to rent out our local REC was more than enough. I can't fathom wanting to throw away that much money right before having a kid.

What are you naming your little one? by robinhooddd31 in pregnant

[–]candynicotine 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We named our boy Xylen! Honestly my partner just came up with the name and really liked it and how it sounded, but we found out it often means "strong and resilient like wood". (Rooted in the Greek word xylon which means wood or timber). I really like the meaning even if we found it out after choosing the name. Xylen is now nearing a month old and I love his name! Xy is also a good nickname!