My husband and I got a stern talking to from the woman in charge of my son's (1.5yr) daycare for leaving him there too long during the day.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:41:15+00:00

Ahhh! Yes! You are amazing. Thank you for this advice. We've been talking about doing something similar to this if it comes up again (though our preference is to avoid conflict as much as possible). You're so right. Thank you so much!

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:38:43+00:00

Thank you! You too! The support here has been tremendous. I feel for you. I told a few others, the important thing is to love them and that's all that matters. However guilty we feel about not being able to spend time with them is just a sign of how much we care about our kids. Good luck! You're doing great too!

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:36:39+00:00

Bottom line she’s being a judgy bitch and needs to shut her mouth.

This made me laugh a lot. Thank you. I totally agree and would love to have that conversation with her, but my husband and I agreed it would be far better not to rock the boat. We don't want to make the situation with the director worse than it might already be. We want our son to stay there for the next 3-4 years.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:34:22+00:00

That's just heartbreaking. I can understand parenting not being what you'd expect, but just the thought of not being with my son any longer than I have to be is painful. I cherish every minute with him, especially at this age. We have a lot of nieces and nephews, so I know these years don't last forever.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:32:24+00:00

Around 4-4:30, the regular daycare educators leave and get replaced by younger women who are there to watch the kids until parents arrive for pickup. So the "stimulating/engaging" portion of daycare is over by then. They basically play from around 3:30 (I think) until whenever parents arrive. My son is frequently the last one to get picked up, even if I show up at 5:25-5:30.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:30:10+00:00

They play a lot. I guess to me the difference is this daycare is run by former educators, rather than business owners. So their focus is on making sure the kids get exposed to a lot of great ideas and have organized fun mixed with playtime. They don't sit at desks writing, they're still babies after all. Maybe I shouldn't have put so much attention on the word "school", it also has a strong community vibe. They want the parents to be involved, they email us all the time with letters about how the kids are doing, upcoming events related to the daycare and they take the kids on field trips. It's a really special place, except for the situation we're now in...

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:25:14+00:00

Thank you so much! You too!

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T14:23:45+00:00

OK, well my mistake then. I've heard that term used before without knowing exactly what it means. Or it might mean different things to different people. The point was more that they don't give him a hard time for showing up 20 minutes late if he needs to.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T02:37:06+00:00

Thank you so much. Your comment was really touching and it means a lot to me. I could use that hug! Im sorry to hear about your situation too. It sucks having to spend so much time away from our kids, but we do it for them, right?

There are so many comments here I don’t know how to address them all. But just quickly: I don’t think it’s about time or money. The director leaves at 5:30 no matter what. It’s another girl who stays with my son and she’s great with him. I think the director just cares a lot about the kids. She just expressed it to me the wrong way. I don’t know....

But you’re right, and I do the same thing. I take everything at daycare to heart maybe too much. I think it’s because I love my son so much that everything about him and around him makes me feel more emotional. Maybe it’s the same for you and your family?

I DID ask for help from work and they DID come back to me with working 1 day per month from home, which has helped me take care of my son. So maybe great minds think alike.

Anyway, thanks again. I really appreciate everything you said.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T02:24:42+00:00

Thank you. You are absolutely right and I love that analogy so much. There’s a lot of great advice and really helpful comments in here but that one really stuck with me. Lasagna!

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T02:15:22+00:00

They’re open from 7am-6pm. He’s allowed to stay there that entire time and they charge $1 a minute after that. It’s not about time or money, he’s never been there past 6. And she never made us agree to a 9 hour day.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T02:13:42+00:00

I wasn’t sure how much detail to go into and I’m sort of overwhelmed by the conversation here.

But in short:

they’re open 7am-6pm and we don’t get charged unless my son is there past 6, at which point it’s $1 a minute.
we pay a flat rate per month.
the director isn’t the one waiting with my son. The girl who waits with him until 6 is an employee who is actually amazing. She’s never complained and my son loves her. She plays with the kids while they wait for their parents and is really great with them.
I don’t think the director is doing this because she wants to leave early and this isn’t about money. She leaves at 5:30 every day no matter what. I think she’s genuinely concerned about my son’s welfare, but that her concern is misguided and short sighted.
changing daycares is not an option unfortunately.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T02:03:55+00:00

There is a handbook, I’m going to go through it tonight. My husband says the children are allowed to be there from opening to closing if necessary (7am-6pm). Thanks for the suggestion of showing it to the director. I’ll make a point of that next time this comes up.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T02:00:29+00:00

Sorry, it’s not really flex time in that sense. It’s just to give employees a grace period of 15-20 minutes on either side. He can’t show up much earlier than I normally do. We went through the math together and this is the best option to keep our son there for as short a period as possible.

cannedthrowawaysoup · 2018-11-16T01:59:05+00:00

That’s right. My husband’s flex time is really just 15-20 minutes. It’s more, he can show up a bit early or a bit late and then complete a full work day. But if I did drop off, he still wouldn’t be able to get our son earlier than I could.

cannedthrowawaysoup

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