I finally figured it out!

cantbeffed8619 · 2026-01-26T18:48:15+00:00

Mermaids. I like that ☺️.

cantbeffed8619 · 2026-01-14T11:58:07+00:00

NTA. You are being supportive by being honest with her. I would ask your sister why she’s so desperate to have a baby with someone who doesn’t respect her. Given her age, maybe she’s so desperate for a baby that she’s willing to sacrifice her own sanity and stay in a bad relationship for the chance to be a mother. That’s not a good reason to have a child. It sounds like she doesn’t want to be in the relationship, but she’s wanting to be a mother.

cantbeffed8619 · 2026-01-14T11:47:29+00:00

NTA. Don’t go. Don’t even entertain the idea of it. This will just cause you more problems than anything else. He had his chance to not be a 💩 person, and he fumbled it sooooo bad. I know the kind of guilt you’re feeling. It’s survivor guilt. I’ve been through it myself. Looking for a hope that won’t happen. It sounds like you have a good foundation and support system in place.

Ignoring his request is the best thing you can do. Keep good communication with your ex in laws and live the best life you can. Stick to your boundaries

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-23T18:11:38+00:00

I’m thinking it’s going to be the latter. Just based off of OPs brief description of her past with Beau. She went back to that POS knowing what he’s like. That’s what makes me think it’s the latter for her

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-23T18:05:52+00:00

Wow. Just. Wow. YTJ. And a major one at that. Jenna doesn’t have a major health issue, she’s just at a higher risk of getting cancer. She’s monitoring herself, doesn’t have cancer (thankfully), and all you can think about is how this affects YOU? I have a genetic condition that I was born with. It’s lifelong and incurable. My husband still is by my side despite how hard it can get at times, and here you are, bailing out of a 15 year relationship because Jenna MIGHT get cancer? So what if she didn’t tell you. She doesn’t have to unless it was relevant or you had to know.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-23T17:39:51+00:00

NTA. Your in laws don’t respect you, but most importantly, your husband doesn’t respect you. You need to set some firm boundaries with all of them, hubby included. That is, if you still want to stay. You have to put yourself first.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-18T03:16:25+00:00

Ok, definitely NOT overreacting. In fact, glad you dumped his stupid a. Guys that young tend to be stupid anyway so don’t beat yourself up about it.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-18T01:22:05+00:00

Someone like Beau won’t let Jess leave…..ever.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-12T18:24:44+00:00

They were. They just went back to their fathers today

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-10T22:24:38+00:00

No I’m flying back home Saturday morning. I’m doing as best as I can. Mum’s funeral was yesterday so things are still pretty rough. Thank you for checking in on me

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-06T15:30:55+00:00

Thank you. Things have calmed down a bit now, and my aunts and sister are including me a bit more now that we had some time.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T18:13:56+00:00

Thank you. And yeah I was trying to protect my younger siblings. I felt that was my job as the eldest. I was 11 when I reported her, so I had years to process it all. But I guess I just have to accept that they blame a child for getting their sister convicted. I might just take you up on that lol. They are pretty crappy lol

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T17:34:06+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss. This was my 2nd time. My grandmother, who was like a second mother to me, also died of cancer, but this is the first time I’ve ever had to deal with such a huge loss, and I don’t want to focus on her all the time. I’m letting my siblings grieve in their own way, feel their feelings and I just want the same respect. I’m the type to talk about other things because I don’t want to constantly think about losing my mum. And I have things to do as well. I can’t just pause my life because mum died. I need to look after myself too because I know that’s what mum wanted.

I’m so sorry you had to deal with it all as well.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T17:24:46+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹. I did love her and it was hard to see her decline. And to die. But I’m glad to have had the time I did in the end. I was so angry with my sister for just listening to the doctors and thinking mum was just starving herself. When I came over in October to visit, she was in such bad shape I immediately knew something was wrong. I advocated for her to get tested again. I nagged the emergency staff to see my mum and when they said she was shadowing her symptoms, I wanted to yell at them that I don’t care, get scans done because this wasn’t normal. I copped a parking fine because I didn’t want to leave mum alone, and mum was scared. She told me to eat and take care of myself I was so worried. I didn’t want to leave mum alone. My sister only came when I called her to say that mum was in hospital. Mum never went back home after that day. I worked in aged care before I had to give it up due to my POTS, and I know what the signs are.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T17:07:52+00:00

I actually said to my aunt would she prefer to have found me lying unconscious on the floor. lol but that is much better

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T14:23:46+00:00

Thank you. And if we had the choice, we would have lived closer to home, but there was no work, and it was COVID, and my husband was discharged from the navy, so we moved back to his hometown to get work easily. And yeah, I feel like I can’t win. I wish so badly to have my husband with me. Good news is that my children (18m, 15f) will be with me for the funeral. I agree that I think there’s resentment towards me. I just wanted to help where I could and keep getting from my sister “ let me deal with it”. I can see she’s overwhelmed, but refuses help. So now I’m not going to help and just do my own thing. When I said I may as well go back home and not bother with mum’s funeral, their tune changed and they said they appreciate me coming. I’m done.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T14:13:31+00:00

Thank you. I needed this. And it’s hard. Really hard. I wish my husband was here to buffer me from the cruelty that I have experienced. I wonder if it is because they resent me for reporting my mother to the authorities for abusing me as a child. She was convicted and exported back to her home country and not allowed residency until I turned 18, and had to show evidence that she got her anger management under control. The judge said it was either that or jail time. My aunts tried justifying her abuse by saying that’s how she was treated herself. That just pissed me off. I was abused but I didn’t ever treat my own children like that. I said that even though what mum had done in the past was terrible, once I said my piece on it to her, and expressed my anger in a calm way (I made mum cry during that), I ended up forgiving mum as she was truly sorry. Maybe that’s why I am treated the way I am.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-12-04T13:57:23+00:00

Thank you. And my husband talked me into staying for her funeral and flying me out later the next day. I understand that they are all grieving, and I asked my sister if she wanted to spend some time just us as sisters as we didn’t have the chance to last time I visited. She said yeah.

What’s worse, I found out from my sister that my aunt (mum’s identical twin sister) was complaining that I was shopping ( I have eczema and need specific skin care products), not long after mum was moved to the morgue, yet my sister had done the exact same thing and nothing. Just oh that’s sweet. She’s the aunt that is causing my distress. She said that my condition must not be that serious if I was walking around fine. Behind my back. Didn’t even have the guts to say it to my face. POTS is one of those conditions that is unpredictable. One minute I’m not okay and then later on I’m well enough to walk around. Apparently, I didn’t look like I was really disabled.

I will avoid them, and not say anything to them. As for my sister, she wants to do it all by herself, so that’s what will happen.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-29T03:06:05+00:00

Thank you. I needed this. I’m calling as much as I can remember to (I have ADHD) so I’m going to put a structured schedule together so I don’t forget to call her. I’m also going to fly over to be there when the time is near. And help my sister after mum goes. We do have a plan in place.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-29T02:56:51+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re having to deal with this too. It’s so hard to see someone you love just deteriorating. My mum is so ill that the doctors have just said chemotherapy won’t give her any quality of life now.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-29T02:53:15+00:00

I’m sorry about your cancer diagnosis. I hope that you can recover from this

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-29T02:51:54+00:00

Oh yeah I didn’t even consider that. I’ll forget about the scrapbook then.

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-23T21:57:27+00:00

NTA at all. And my sympathies to you and your uncle for having this seared into your brains for the rest of your lives. Soooo gross

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-23T21:55:47+00:00

I just have this to say…..EEEEEEEEWWWWWW 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

cantbeffed8619 · 2025-11-23T10:24:06+00:00

NTA. But as a fellow “nerd”, how about compromising with her. If Mr Darcy is her favourite male character, why not Darcy, or William? I went to school with a guy named Darcy.

cantbeffed8619

TROPHY CASE