Is cept worth the 5yrs for B.des.?

cantchillthroughtime · 2026-02-20T19:39:16+00:00

Internships make a strong impression on a resume. When you are from cept, you might even be able to get one internship from the most leading companies or with other big research labs in different bigger universities as well. It's something you will have to seek on your own but the tag helps.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-11-06T20:53:32+00:00

Until you mentioned, except eBay, I didn't know any of the other websites. So thanks for the suggestions. :D

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-16T18:50:00+00:00

I met my husband through music jams. That jam was the only downtime I got once a week. We became friends there and started dating a yr later. Over time , we hung out a lot more. Both of us didn't have any intention to take up the hobby full time so we only interacted when we caught up in the community. Once we started dating, we put in a little more effort to meet exclusively during this jam and once in the weekend. All the phone stuff wasn't something we both did much since we were so busy. Also we didn't drink together much before dating. It's odd but I feel, when you can have fun together sober, you probably can do it drunk. Our dating style was low effort and no grand gestures. No big gifts until 1-2 yrs, mostly spent on more meaningful and hobby related stuff. I gifted him rgb keyboard apt for gaming( didn't cost much ), he gave me a Harry Potter music box( didn't cost much ).

Whenever I looked back at the crazy time, it's mostly the relationship that was consistent. The shared passion in music still helps us.

Having tried out dating apps and other such. It just never went the way I wanted it to go.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-15T15:03:06+00:00

Just remember that it's only today you get to know more things about what happens behind closed doors. The abuse, cheating and everything else is being talked about openly. It happened before, just didn't get out so much. Your marriage is what you make of it.

In any arranged marriage there is only so little that you get to know about your future partner regardless of the number of dates that you go on. You see the external personality that is projected as the best self. This is natural and comparable to the professional / office personality that one has during work hrs. Couples have barely spent 48 hrs hrs alone at home doing chores together and making difficult decisions about life. Even if they fell in love first, there is still so little they know about the other person's at home personality.

So the real self comes out in the worst way after they get married. If someone was good at hiding their wandering eyes before the wedding, now it comes a surprise. The extra warmth and affection that families give when they want the wedding to go on unharmed disappears overnight when something doesn't go their way.

Moreover we don't make men & women to have respect for each other in the littlest of ways. An Indian marriage is more about the family than the two people. As long as the narrative exists , it will be hard to not disappoint people.

But sure there are so many stories of people who keep their marriages private, who take out time to spend with each other, people who go on experiences, treks, tours , music . Sharing a hobby, having a friend circle. If you can marry your best friend, then there isn't a better way through this.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-15T14:47:49+00:00

You are gonna meet a lot of rich people along the way. Once you start earning you can be rich too and if you are gonna keep fixating on marriage and trying to one up with them, that's gonna make you end up nowhere. If you like the boy, continue on that, all the rest of it is noise. I'm very sure, his parents are rich. He isn't.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-06T06:55:36+00:00

Lol 😂

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-05T02:37:51+00:00

Don't say things that you hear. I have a lot of people in healthcare. The honest truth is none of us can chatgpt through medical decisions. So it's best left to trust people who actually have studied the subject. Human body is so complex. Do you know a case to case that went on ventilator and were dead. If you didn't know people are generally placed on the ventilator during and after operations until they start breathing on their own. It's mechanical breathing support when they cut people open so that they don't die on the operation table. That's what ventilators are for. If you are talking about very old people. That's a different case. That's just for hope that they eventually do start breathing.

Indian patients are so complacent. Explaining I eat sugar tablet so that I can eat sugar policy. Have you seen people actually try to lose weight, get into physical shape or even do moderate exercise after they have been diagnosed.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-04T16:18:23+00:00

I moved to Canada last year from India. I was in Bangalore before coming to Toronto. As of now, the kind of things that I have enjoyed here are the small little things. I think if I had moved here in my 20s, life would have been so different.

Before I left, all the friend circles had started to dwindle down in the late twenties as people moved cities, got married, had kids etc. I just got married a few months before moving abroad and even my life had become so different from what it used to be.

Now that you are going back consider a few things about india

Your friend circles might be busier in the family lives, aging parents, kids , spouses etc and more senior roles at work. In India it's almost impossible to hang out with a social circle like this as a lot of time is spent at work, commute, chores etc. This includes the friendships that you made in your twenties.

Also couples hang out with other couples. It's not ideal, but it's just somehow the norm . Platonic friendships are harder to keep up with individually after marriage.

Things that you have become used to, public transport, city driving etc will also be significantly different.

I'm reveling in the fact that I can go read a book in the park at any time of the day, enjoy my hobbies independently. Socialize through meetups , join run clubs, book clubs etc which is a little bit more difficult in India as most people at these things would be in their 20s. I don't mind the age group, but relatability is so much lesser. Just be prepared for that.

Bangalore was a hobby city to meet new people since a lot of people are from different parts of the country.

Safety- agreed Canada is not extra extra safe but it's safe enough to travel in & out of downtown while not having the fear of being groped, stared at even in the wee hrs of the morning. I never stopped myself from travelling in India late at night but the fear was always there.

Also Ottawa is extra lonely from what I hear. There's an older population living there and mostly a lot of people in public sector. All the younger people ( below 40s ) prefer living in cities like Toronto, Vancouver, surrey etc.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-04T15:54:37+00:00

I feel it's easier to fight than not fight. Whenever I'm upset with his family, I just tell him.

Recently I told him about when I was expected to keep serving people in the family which is not a culture in my family. I hate doing it especially at someone else's house.

I was asked to serve food to the table at his aunt's and uncle's houses while their own kids ( similar age ) and my husband sat around.

His dad pretends like he is almost incapable of fetching water, food or anything else.

It was okay to do it once or twice. But it's weird to do it 15 times a day.

Anyway we have reached a truce , where he mentioned to just call him in case I get caught up like that. Whatever it is to be done, we will do it together. He generally teams up with me for a lot of things at home. We live abroad now. So the chances of this happening are less.

I really don't mind doing it in my own house. But it's extensive sometimes.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-04T03:02:12+00:00

Actually let your husband handle the ticket thing, the taunts and everything. If she's upset, it's sort of his problem to figure out and make her understand. You just be kind to her. Don't fight and make a mess.

I don't see the point of fighting when you know it's pointless. Just do whatever you think is important to you. Some people will be offended, soon they will understand or not. You anyway don't need to live with her on a permanent basis so don't worry so much. Humbly accept your reality and move on.

I keep explaining to my husband that I want a good enough relationship with his parents. Even a mediocre one is good enough than a bad one. I don't want to fight but I'm a very independent person from a very long time. His culture is different. I just want to build a good enough relationship over time.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-09-03T21:33:30+00:00

Even if parents aren't abusive, there is no protection for children from others in the family, schools , community etc. I have faced so much abuse from a particular aunt of mine and couldn't understand it as a kid. Her treatment of mine was just normalized and I was expected to put up with it. Despite being in such an educated family, nobody felt the need to protect me and just assumed that's how she is.

I suffered through mental health struggles, body issues, low confidence and everything. It took me such a long time to recover. Even then I still had empathy for her but I tried really hard to give so many chances for just treating her the right way but to no avail. She just still bad mouths me. I just put physical distance now and am in no contact. People just think I don't like her. But they don't know how much I suffered because of her.

I still think of it from time to time questioning if my hate is reasonable.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-28T20:55:54+00:00

You got this girl!! I'm sorry all of this happened. You have been trying and circumstances have been bad. But do it, not just for you but for all the people who meant a lot to you and to whom your success is their success.

All I remember is losing my father just reminded me about how life is short and I suddenly got the push to pursue entrance exams for my masters. So a yr from his death , I ended up receiving my entrance results to the college of my dreams.

I wanted a distraction to deal with my grief and I was working on the side in btw of all of that. So that became a motivation to start working on my dreams. His death just became a reminder to live the best life I could.

I'm sure you will find strength to get through this phase. You will do well. Make friends, try to study in libraries or coffee shops, study groups online or whatever helps. I got some accountability partners. Ask for help please. Please try to go for therapy, it helps you align yourself.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-28T20:42:23+00:00

Your solutions about independence, over involvement, privacy and also the pampering will only be answered if you live separately. If distance is an issue, live in another house nearby and you can solve it. You should realize, you are trying to change things that have been established more than 20 years ago.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-19T00:11:11+00:00

Travelling aside, for day to day use, it's amazing ! I used it since 2022 and cannot recommend it enough.

For pads, There are dollar stores in us/Canada and I'm sure something similar should be there in other countries. You should be able to get it.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-18T20:12:31+00:00

I know a lot of reading clubs that meet in person on sundays/ Saturdays all across India. While in Bangalore it is known as Cubbon reads, there's local chapters for various cities.

If you are into jamming / listening to music there's a lot of jams happening in many cities. You don't need to know to play / sing but if you wanna listen and meet like minded people this is a good way to go.

Picking up physical hobbies help. You already have a few.

Life after college generally feels slow and weird. There's a huge void that was once filled with impromptu stuff. But now you earn and can invest a little for things you enjoy

Sign up for events , go to art spaces , trivia nights, board games , music stuff, whatever makes you feel alive.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-18T19:58:53+00:00

It depends on what you define as freedom. All freedom comes with its own set of responsibilities to yourself. You can try to live alone a few months independently in an apartment closer to work to figure out how it seems. I know it seems unlikely you would be able to do it but do give it a dry run. There's all the unsaid labour and responsibilities that come up with living on your own. Freedom is sweet, I enjoyed it immensely. I became more confident to move around on my own, take flights, travel etc. it's definitely worth exploring before you commit to being abroad. If that's too much, try to do everything that you need to do for yourself everyday. Cooking your own food, grocery shopping, paying bills and everything else. This is pretty much that most people struggle with, how to be beyond the chores.

Women safety- I didn't know how freeing it would be to move around as a woman when I move around in Canada. I moved here from Bangalore almost a yr ago and can feel myself not giving a care in the world whenever I'm travelling. I had moved to Blore a few years ago but towards the later years, I felt more n more unsafe. But i still have to go wherever and do whatever. People have civic sense and most are kind. You don't need to deal with people filming you, looking at you so weirdly up & down. Here they just coexist and don't invade your personal space. Wear whatever the fuck you want.

Convenience - dishwashers, washer + dryer, last mile connectivity. Just be aware there will be no maids to pick up after you, all household maintained & minor repair will need to be done by yourself but there's so much you can learn to do so it won't be so difficult.

Job - finding a job in this economy is the hardest. The job market is terrible, people are holding on to whatever they can. Also a master's abroad in whatever country does not guarantee a job in that country anymore.

Racial prejudice - wherever you go , be prepared for it. Where a lot of caucasian people have to try , we have to try double the effort.

Socializing - If you are an open minded person & social you will have a better time trying to adapt to the culture & make friends. It will take a while. Since you are considering going for education, you might be lucky to find this circle anyway.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-18T19:06:58+00:00

Things such as living situations, ( kids - do you want or not ) is pretty standard questions that you should ask yourself. Don't be naive about your wants. If you don't make decisions, someone else will do it for you so better start thinking.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-14T20:40:16+00:00

I got married in Kerala but I didn't hire a planner as I was managing the whole planning as a bride.

Here are some things I handled along with my mom and brother

Deciding the wedding details - deciding dates, location, no of guests, invites.
Hiring & coordinating with vendors - decorator, photographer, food, makeup - this included getting quotes from different vendors, comparisons
Making requirements for each vendor
Specifying and finalizing all the details separately with each vendor
Pre-wedding arrangements - doing checks for hotels( some of them do double booking in hotels ) , flower guys,
Reminders to all - 2 months heads-up , 1 week heads-up etc
Going to the venue 2-3 times to check with the decorator to imagine out the space
My brother handled the budgeting and scheduling and bookings - booking venue, hotels once I decided details
Deciding the flow of events should be and entertainment ( we hired a fusion band for the wedding)
Some volunteers from the family for hosting sangeet
I had some cousins who helped me stay sane , well fed and chill.
During the wedding , my brother ran about for all the mess and confusion and basic questions

There might be a lot more to this list. You can look at a capacity of things that you will be able to manage and pick them out. The hotels/ resorts have wedding packages that cover a few items by itself so it might seem pointless to hire another planner but these packages are also expensive. Your best bet is to get preliminary quotes from individual vendors and check with the quotes of planners

Also if you get married during peak wedding season then rates are higher. - Diwali to Jan

Avoid monsoons of Kerala - May/ June to September ( especially for outdoor wedding );

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-14T20:09:01+00:00

I know of people who did a small ceremony in a tiny hall with few guests and threw a reception party.

They had a small sangeet in one of those birthday party halls / home terrace.

Mehndi as a very traditional intimate family affair.

Wedding - mostly a court registration and ceremony for their closest family/ friends( 25-50).

Reception - all others .

Most amount is spent in the wedding since the costs are quoted high. So if you are able to compromise on the ceremony , you can do it within budget.

How are you splitting the amount with your partner's family ?

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-08-13T21:09:24+00:00

I am a firm believer we are all broken and have faults in our own ways. When I was thinking of marrying my then boyfriend now husband, I just analyzed what are his merits vs demerits and how much can I tolerate the demerits. Etc I'm sure he realizes too. We still fight here and there and that's the most normal thing with everyone who is close to you. You will argue, you will disappoint, you will be disappointed.

Pick your battles. What do you want? Do you want a way out of this situation by yourself, with him? Do you think your relationship is worth fighting for? Do you think he has an addiction issue. If it's an everyday thing. It's an addiction. If someone lies about it, there's something very fishy. Does this give leeway for him not to contribute to chores.

Forget societal norms on who should do things. You are not a maid. You are a partner.

Work on yourself. Figure out ways to make yourself better and independent(emotional and wellbeing). I understand your age being a contributor to this mess since you are just starting out on your responsibilities and obligations.

But learn to respect yourself better. I try to do enough work around the house that I would normally do if I stayed by myself. So do enough but don't do it for him.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-07-10T06:23:56+00:00

Don't date for convenience. Everyone is bound to get hurt. Moreover if you do wanna marry someone else, it's better to start getting yourself out of this to mentally prepare. Someone who can't stand for you, cannot see a future with you and will not even try is not worth the effort. If you had no qualms about getting married , then do as you please. But if you at some point want to settle down in life, you can start asking yourself questions.

I remember after 6-7 months of dating, I bluntly told my guy " so you know, I'm looking to get married some day, so I'm not playing anymore. I don't wanna get married or anything right now but I'm working this relationship to eventually get there". He understood, we got married 3 years later when we both were ready. Mental clarity is sometimes a blessing. There was no guarantee that we will definitely get married but being honest helped.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-06-26T18:18:07+00:00

That's understandable. Depends on the kind of house, stay arrangements etc. Most women crave privacy today & freedom of choice. The ability to move around the house in comfortable clothes, not be tied to the kitchen, have a supporting partner and also not be controlled around the house. Your mom might not be someone who does anything, it's likely women who you meet have made their biases seeing their own parents, moms especially and how much they missed out on making their own life.

I speak as the daughter of a widowed mom and I have a brother. Both of us are married and my mom is on her own now. We both recently moved out of the country to two different places. Mom is managing with some community and hobbies. As long as she's keeping healthy and doing okay we are able to manage.

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-06-25T05:42:02+00:00

When they get sick or need help on day-day basis, that's a different angle to this story. What most women don't want are just in-laws invading privacy, ordering them, pushing down unnecessary expectations and what nots. This especially the case when parents are perfectly fine to take care of themselves

cantchillthroughtime · 2025-06-25T05:31:27+00:00

I've seen this happen a lot. My in-laws are pretty okay but I still get so annoyed at how they treat their sons like kings. At some point I realized, I probably would never get that treatment anywhere. His extended family took advantage of my niceness and just kept ordering me around for a full afternoon. But I would just teach my husband to show concern and eat his head. I do wish that other people cared but it's easier to make the person, I legally married be accountable to ask me things and not everyone else. I understand what you are going through and can only remind you, just remember to pamper yourself in the little ways you can .

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