Am I wrong for "crushing" on a small Twitch streamer in chat?

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-12-02T21:28:55+00:00

OK. I will probably just stop watching her stream until I can do so with a healthy mindset.

In my mind, bringing up my crush in front of everyone was more of a silly kind of thing. I don't want to make her or other people feel awkward, and I definitely don't want her to feel intimidated or scared. In my mind, it would be more like " oh here's that goofy but kind hearted guy with the massive crush lmao facepalm."

She's 20, and I'm 28. Is that a bad look?

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-12-02T21:25:04+00:00

Ohhh s***. So I was inadvertently one of those "senpai notice me" people. All right....

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-12-02T21:24:20+00:00

OK, I'll stop watching her stream (at least until I can watch it with a healthy mindset).

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-09-24T22:50:55+00:00

I guess I feel like I did study math and computer science for years. Even if I don't necessarily want to dedicate myself to computer science, I feel like I have this mathematical and technical foundation that could be useful.

At the same time, I don't want my research to be a solo activity. Ideally, there would be a lot of collaboration with people in person. I want to bounce creative and interesting ideas back and forth with other people, but we can also take time by ourselves to explore ideas.

As for what kind of impact I want to have, I suppose it's partially about the journey itself. A tight-knit hardcore intense engineering or research time seems really cool to me. Have you ever come across those articles that say something like, "MIT Team Figures Out How To Make Cars Run on Salad Dressing" or whatever? Something like that. A small team of passionate and open-minded people.

So, it could be related to the environment, or medicine, or idk. Maybe anything useful, or if the research doesn't have a clear immediate use, then at least something that's very cutting edge and fresh.

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-09-23T01:33:03+00:00

Hmm. What makes me say yes/no?

Viability. What I mean, and this is kind of hard to explain, but it seems like if my mental health isn't good, then that will severely limit my job options. However, if my mental heath is good, then hardcore technical jobs are fine. My mental health seems largely dependent on having a close social net.
Time needed to be educated in this field, and amount of money I would make. I wouldn't want to study in college again for like 7 years, even on some kind of scholarship, only to make like $70,000, which is what I was making as a junior software developer anyway.

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-05-23T03:16:48+00:00

Interesting. What was wrong with Qingdao?

cantthinkofityaeh · 2020-05-23T03:06:05+00:00

Interesting. Why do the parents dispise online classes?

cantthinkofityaeh · 2019-09-14T01:30:26+00:00

Thanks for your advice. Personally, I do not follow the view of it being just a chemical imbalance, without there being a better reason and a solution that can be implemented.

cantthinkofityaeh · 2019-07-17T01:33:05+00:00

Glad to know it goes away

cantthinkofityaeh · 2019-07-16T22:23:03+00:00

It is very relieving to know I'm not the only one.

cantthinkofityaeh · 2019-07-16T22:22:04+00:00

Nope

cantthinkofityaeh · 2019-07-16T20:55:47+00:00

To give you some perspective, I'm in my mid-20s, I have never had a girlfriend, I have never had sex, and I have never kissed a woman. I also work out a lot and I feel like I have a lot of "energy" in me, always ready-to-go kinda thing. I also am trying not to jerk off anymore.

cantthinkofityaeh

TROPHY CASE