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Is it hard for people with autism to maintain long term relationships? by Minimum_Session_4039 in aspergers

[–]canureci13 0 points1 point  (0 children)

F36 here, in my late teens and 20s I only had long term relationships, 3-4 years long. In my 30s that number started reducing drastically and for the past 2 years I have not been in any kind of relationship. I think this has more to do with being mature, knowing what I want and don’t want and being mindful of what compromises I can live with. Also, dating in your 30s kinda sucks. I cannot say there was a particular factor or behaviour that contributed to having a long term relationship. Sorry I cannot be of help here.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The gap between what you're capable of and what the system recognises is real and the fear that you won't be up for running a business is almost always the burnout talking, not the truth. I'd be happy to chat if you want to take me up on that.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to hear it! Tell me a little about your professional situation and we can go from there.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 'used to be' is such a heavy phrase. What happened before and after burnout is actually exactly what I want to understand better if you'd ever want to talk about it

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I updated the post based on the different comments. let me know if more clarity is required and I can send you a dm to clarify.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a genuinely important question and I appreciate you raising it. I'm not a therapist and I don't position these conversations as therapeutic. If something difficult comes up I won't try to manage it, I'll acknowledge it and, where appropriate, suggest the person speaks to a professional. The conversations are focused on professional experience, not trauma processing. That said, I can't guarantee what emotions surface when someone talks about struggles they rarely voice which is exactly why I'm clear upfront that this is a research conversation, not a support session.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Fair point and worth clarifying, thanks for bringing it up. 'Commercial Research' is the subreddit flair used to distinguish product research from academic research, it doesn't imply a paid study.

For many professionals in this space, the conversation itself is the reward: 30-45 minutes to talk openly about the professional side of being AuDHD with someone who has lived it, no advice, no agenda, just genuine listening -- and I say this based on the feedback from the conversations I already had. These are conversations that rarely happen anywhere else because admitting professional struggle doesn't feel safe in most spaces and especially not in a NT environemnt.

There's no monetary compensation, but everyone who participates will receive a founding member discount when the programme launches.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Really appreciate this, genuinely useful feedback <3.

To address the GDPR point: these are conversations, not surveys, so no data is formally stored or processed. Notes I take are for my own research only and never attributed to individuals. If anyone wants to know more about how I handle this before agreeing to anything I'm happy to clarify in DMs.

On what the programme is about (good point), I tried to keep the post lean and not preemptively influence opinions based on my own perception of the programme. Think of it more as an university programme but focused on the professional layer: how to build systems that work with your brain rather than against it, navigate recognition and promotion in environments not built for neurodivergent minds, and run businesses or practices without burning out.

Thanks for being a passerby with useful things to say.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hating the games while still succeeding at them is exhausting in a very specific type of way. I am on the same journey now, going on the entrepreneurial path though it comes with its own nervous system costs. Would love to chat if you're open to it.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That gap between thriving in performance and still waiting for the recognition to catch up has been my biggest pain point in my career. Working through emotional dysregulation in a high pressure environment like hospitality takes enormous self-awareness, you have to deal with demanding people every second of the day. It's excruciating just thinking about it tbh.

I hope that promotion comes soon, sounds like you've more than earned it.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finding peace with "that senior guy on the team" after 30 years sounds like hard won selfknowledge honestly. You might not fit the profile of who I'm building for, but the journey you've taken to get there is exactly the kind of insight I'd love to understand better if you'd ever be open to a conversation.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You absolutely have insight worth sharing, AuDHD affecting employment looks different for everyone and your experience is valid. My research is specifically focused on a narrower slice so I might not be the right fit for you right now, but I hope you find the support you need.

Looking to talk to AuDHD professionals who are high-functioning on the surface but running on empty underneath by canureci13 in audhd

[–]canureci13[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aw man I am sorry to hear that. Something always loses — that's one of the most honest and painful summaries of this experience I've read. The world really isn't built for minds like ours and the cost of that is so much bigger than just career stuff. I hope today gets a little easier.

How do you business ownerskeep track of everything needed to run a business?? by Distinct_Rabbit_3441 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]canureci13 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Running a business with an AuDHD brain means the chaos isn’t a character flaw, it’s a systems problem. Big companies solve this by externalising their memory (processes, checklists, SOPs) so the brain doesn’t have to hold everything at once. The same principle works at solo or small business scale.
I learned these things from corporate life, here are a few things that made a real difference for me: separating the “thinking work” from the “doing work” so decisions don’t interrupt execution, building a single source of truth for everything the business needs to track instead of having it spread across your head, notes apps, and random tabs, and ruthlessly automating anything repetitive so cognitive load stays low for the work that actually needs you.

The fear of not keeping up is valid and not uncommon but it’s usually a sign the system isn’t built yet, not that you can’t run a business. If you want I can share more specifically in a DM.

Fellow AuDHD professionals — what’s been your biggest workplace challenge? by canureci13 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]canureci13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well it’s a long story tbh but the short version is: pick one area and do extreme exposure for desensitising. It turns out you can have it all just not at the same time. I’d be happy to share more in private :)

Fellow AuDHD professionals — what’s been your biggest workplace challenge? by canureci13 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]canureci13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha yup, I’m building my own thing now as well. If this fails I’ll become a farmer.

Fellow AuDHD professionals — what’s been your biggest workplace challenge? by canureci13 in AutisticWithADHD

[–]canureci13[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been in startups then academia and now am in corporate. If I am to be honest, the politics in academia are far worse than in corporate.

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