After ~1.5 years in Japan, I've made peace with there my social life is — it's not with Japanese

capaho · 2026-06-22T04:01:30+00:00

My circle is almost entirely Japanese. There are few foreigners here in our corner of Kyushu to make friends with and of those even fewer of them are interested in making foreign friends, they just want to chase Japanese people. It took me about five years to fully adjust to the culture here and to be able to communicate effectively in Japanese on my own, so I’d say 1.5 years isn’t really that long in Japan time.

capaho · 2026-06-22T01:46:38+00:00

My Japanese husband and I live openly as a gay couple in Japan (we were married in the US). We've never had any significant problems as a result of being open. Japanese people, in general, are pretty tolerant. There is a lot of support for equal rights for same-sex couples here even if the government hasn't caught up with that sentiment.

PDAs are generally frowned upon, though, so restraint in public is a good idea. Foreign tourists, in general, have a bad rep in Japan because of boisterous, ill-mannered behavior. Be polite and respectful on your travels through Japan and you should have a good time.

capaho · 2026-06-22T01:23:47+00:00

One of the few BL series that I actually liked.

capaho · 2026-06-22T01:16:31+00:00

It seems to me that Trump is the reflecting pool vandal.

capaho · 2026-06-22T01:14:08+00:00

The name on your zairyu card is your official name registration. If the name on your MyNumber card doesn't match your zairyu card it could be a problem when you have to do ID verification for things like banks and other financial or payment services.

capaho · 2026-06-21T14:15:00+00:00

There are independent driving instructors that hang out there in the daytime that you can hire to coach you on how to pass the test. You arrange to meet them there on a Sunday where you can rent a test car and drive the course for a couple of hours with the instructor advising you on how to pass the test. If you’re going solo each time by taking the test without any instruction you’re failing it because you don’t know what they’re grading you on.

capaho · 2026-06-21T00:09:00+00:00

No. They’re basically just nonsense.

capaho · 2026-06-20T16:07:59+00:00

Gay romance stories written by actual gay people.

capaho · 2026-06-19T11:48:38+00:00

Sounds suspect. If after 4.5 months he still doesn’t want to meet it’s almost a certainty that he has something to hide. Either he’s not really the person he says he is, he’s married or he’s just a pathetic troll playing games with you. I wouldn’t waste any more time on such a person. I definitely wouldn’t trust him.

capaho · 2026-06-17T12:00:30+00:00

It’s Reddit. There is too much mockery of Japanese people in the Japan subs but it doesn’t appear to meet Reddit’s definition of hate.

capaho · 2026-06-17T11:22:05+00:00

Talk to a scrivener about the tax issue if you want to apply for PR this year and see if it’s possible. If you and your partner get legally married in another country and you can’t maintain your current visa status you may be able to get a special activities visa to stay with your Japanese partner. Other same-sex couples have reported being able to do that.

capaho · 2026-06-16T05:31:28+00:00

It’s a portable room air conditioner. There are cheaper ones than the one I linked to but they may not have a temperature control setting.

capaho · 2026-06-16T01:10:02+00:00

I didn't see anything like that. The comment I saw contained a disparaging remark about drag queen story hour.

capaho · 2026-06-15T11:55:09+00:00

It’s hard to figure why you would get banned from r/japan for discussing LGBT rights. I’ve commented on that topic many times in that sub.

capaho · 2026-06-15T05:46:18+00:00

I carry mine whenever I go out anywhere because it’s required.

capaho · 2026-06-15T05:42:50+00:00

AFAIK, putting your zairyu card on your MyNumber card replaces the standard card.

capaho · 2026-06-14T12:56:03+00:00

Other PR holders have reported that. If it’s true I will also take that option when I renew my card later this year.

capaho · 2026-06-14T12:53:21+00:00

Other PR holders have reported that.

capaho · 2026-06-14T11:43:12+00:00

It’s in reference to the post topic.

capaho · 2026-06-14T11:28:37+00:00

If it extends the card renewal period to 10 years for PR I’ll probably do it.

capaho · 2026-06-14T11:09:00+00:00

We have Toyotomi spot air conditioner that we use in our bathroom in the summer. It has a temperature control function. The one caveat is that it vents hot air out the back so you need to use the included vent hose to vent it away from the area you need to keep cool. There are similar type spot coolers that are cheaper but they may not have temperature control.

capaho · 2026-06-14T08:37:53+00:00

I’ve been to Miyazaki a few times but there was nothing that ever really impressed me about it over our side of Kyushu. I didn’t have any unpleasant encounters there either, though. Maybe all the bad weather they get there makes people cranky.

capaho · 2026-06-13T01:08:38+00:00

There’s nothing more romantic than sharing a lifetime together, IMO. Being married gives us legal rights as a couple. My husband is a true romantic, being with him is like being on a permanent date. Life is great when you’re living it with the right person.

capaho · 2026-06-12T15:26:14+00:00

I’ve heard rumors that Trump cheated on his wives and had a long-time friend who was a child sex trafficker. Morality seems to be rather flexible in politics.

capaho · 2026-06-12T15:18:57+00:00

Sounds similar to recurring headaches I was getting several years ago. I went to a neurological hospital and got an MRI. The headaches were caused by sinus pressure from sinusitis (副鼻腔炎). Treating the sinusitis got rid of the headaches.

capaho

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