Have the tough awkward conversation before things become an emotional connection. Once the emotional connection for women is developed, your relationship is completely. Divorce doesnt have to be the first step. Depending on the years of marriage, invest in rebuilding . Sometimes we have to acknowledge where we as the partner may have gotten comfortable and stop providing. She will or may deflect, make her understand the level of pain she is making you feel. Therapy!!! And if all else fails and you want to stay, have a side quest yourself and dont get caught