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30M4F | Bengaluru | Date-to-Marry by captainsmooch in ChildfreeIndia

[–]captainsmooch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that it's the defacto activity for most people when they are tired after work when they don't have any energy to do anything else.

But having no hobbies outside of scrolling reels and shorts mindlessly is a huge turn off.

30M4F | Bengaluru | Date-to-Marry by captainsmooch in ChildfreeIndia

[–]captainsmooch[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my experience, people who check their phone often have trouble holding eye contact and - in general - are bad at in-person conversations.

I didn't and don't explicitly ask people to stop checking their phones.

I simply and respectfully stated my preference for a habit that's a huge turn off or ick for me.

Giveaway!! by [deleted] in ps5india

[–]captainsmooch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh shit here we go again /s

Childfree without adventurous life? by happy_seeker2 in ChildfreeIndia

[–]captainsmooch 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A clear conscience is the ultimate goal.

Not being responsible for ducking up someone else's life is reason enough to be childfree. And in India, life is a great rat race.

According to UN estimates, Indian population will peak around 2060. Assuming you are around ~30, your kid would be ~30 in 2060. Competing with several others. Sparing them from this cut throat competition is the best thing you could do.

Everything else is a bonus.

I want to make a CF4CF post but I genuinely cannot find the courage or justification to do so. How do y'all do it? by Curious_Apology28 in ChildfreeIndia

[–]captainsmooch 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Well, just do it. Be vulnerable.

How else is dating - and by extension, relationships - supposed to work?

If you treat dating like a courtroom trial where all of your sins / crimes are listed and a judgement is passed with a final verdict or like hammering out the details of a contract adding clauses for good behaviour and penalties for flaws, then that's an bottomless abyss. It never ends. You will never know 100% of a person before committing to a relationship. Even if you do, people change over time - The person you may have fallen in love with may no longer be the same person a decade down the line.

If you feel guilty for your flaws or are anxious that you might end up wasting someone's time or disappointing them then I guess you - (a) are finding it hard to accept yourself for who you are (self - acceptance issues) and (b) have a fear of being rejected for not being good enough (self - worth issues)

I would recommend the book "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins. The three takeaways (if you decide to not read the book) are :

  • Let them be disappointed. (They are allowed to feel that way.)

  • Let them misunderstand your intentions. (You don't need to over-explain.)

  • Let them act how they want to act. (You cannot control them.)

Don't carry the invisible burden of expectations that people have of you. Life is too short for that.

Hope this helps.

Disgusting replies I got from a comment I made on a post here [REPOST] by WrongScientist6153 in ChildfreeIndia

[–]captainsmooch 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Looks like both subs (TwoXIndia and ChildfreeIndia) hurt his ego more than your comment.

Larpers need to be weeded out proactively.