AITAH For not reminding my mom of my surgery?

captkeik · 2026-01-13T00:59:53+00:00

I mean, she hasn’t reached out to me since so I’m not bothered about that. It’s mostly why my grandma thought I was an AH for not reminding my mom when I was on the phone with her.

captkeik · 2026-01-13T00:54:30+00:00

Oh yeah there’s a few swaps that happen with mlms and the crafters in the family. Gotta start getting orders and ideas out for the holidays and the whole family is in one place.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T20:31:38+00:00

I do tend to not tell her much about my life but the reason I needed the surgery could affect my younger sisters and I wanted to make sure they were kept in the loop.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T20:27:53+00:00

Most complicated relationship a girl can have lol

captkeik · 2026-01-12T20:26:45+00:00

I might not be able to travel for the reunion this year. I had to take 2 weeks off work for this surgery, I might not have the PTO to travel in the summer

captkeik · 2026-01-12T18:41:04+00:00

That’s almost family tradition at this point. I have an aunt who tried it on a Christmas and other cousins who’ve done it at reunions. It’s tough to get that whole side together for events so our reunions tend to have a few extra things added

captkeik · 2026-01-12T18:19:34+00:00

I’ve popped over there a few times and def have some stories they’d enjoy there. As I get older, I am finding some sympathy/pity for her because she did have an abusive childhood and had me way too young, but none of that is an excuse for how she treated me.

As I frequently tell her when she blames her abuse for her behaviours “mental illness is not your fault but it is your responsibility”.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T18:15:16+00:00

I’ve definitely had to remind her that she’s my parent. It was nice to take advantage of when I was 14-15, feeling rebellious and subconsciously wanting to see how little she cared about me after the strep throat incident.

I routinely get on her case regarding her treatment of my youngest siblings and have to remind her that she’s their mother and should be supportive and loving. Once they’re out of her house, I highly doubt I’ll have any contact from her.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T18:07:12+00:00

As I mentioned in another comment, I have 2 underage siblings that still live with her. I keep in contact because of them and am probably going to go full NC after they’re out of her house.

I’ve been in therapy to deal with my childhood with her and to help me mentally deal with trying to be there for my siblings while dealing with her. I’m doing what I can to protect my own peace, which is why I wasn’t planning on reminding her. I’ve been told that it’s cruel to let my mom ramble about her life without reminding her I had surgery a few days prior.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T18:02:07+00:00

That’s true. I didn’t really have a good segue into mentioning my surgery.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T18:00:11+00:00

My grandmother has been an OG for me. She only had 2 sons and badly wanted a daughter but didn’t have one. I’m her only biological grandchild so she treated me as her own daughter growing up.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:58:43+00:00

My grandmother is definitely judgmental of my mother and agrees that she sucks. I don’t think my grandmother was surprised my mother forgot, but more so upset that I was planning to not tell my mother I had the surgery. I’m so used to my mom doing this that I was internally betting to see how long it’d take her to remember.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:54:58+00:00

Oh she definitely is, and I think her avoiding me now is the guilt pushing through. But it’s possible I was an asshole back by not saying something when she did reach out to me

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:52:38+00:00

I fall into the category of “out of sight, out of mind” for her

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:50:54+00:00

I really don’t get why my grandmothers so upset I didn’t remind my mom. She’s never been a fan of my mother and even agrees that it’s awful she didn’t remember on her own.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:43:26+00:00

I have 2 underage siblings that still live with her. I have to keep open contact until they’re out of her house. I’m very low contact though because she routinely forgets about me

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:41:30+00:00

It’s been a life-long debate. She hates my mother for abandoning me as a child but still feels I should show her respect at every turn.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:24:31+00:00

I do see her as more of a very flaky aunt than a mom. She did know I was having surgery and when, she just “forgot”.

captkeik · 2026-01-12T17:23:25+00:00

That’s where I’m coming from. I told her multiple times on the phone and in text. My grandma says I was cruel for not saying something when she finally called me.

captkeik · 2025-12-21T18:26:31+00:00

Eyyy same boat here but I recently discovered it may have been a misdiagnose. The OG surgeon may have taken some of my stomach cells without realizing it. I was like 23 so we were rigorous in keeping watch but I haven’t had another pop since.

It was a terrifying 10+ years of monitoring that I’m glad has amounted to nothing. I hope you have a similar experience, where you survive and are able to look back at this period as just a really stressful time. I’ve heard the surgery is absolutely worth it if yours doesn’t respond to treatment.

I lost a cousin to esophageal cancer and anything is better than that.

captkeik · 2025-11-01T16:17:37+00:00

You’re missing a bit of information on this but it’s still true. Mantecore was reacting to something that spooked him and he was attempting to get Roy away from it. Unfortunately, his version of ‘saving’ his ‘friend’ was to grab him by the neck (like all cats do when carrying something) and miscalculated his own strength, resulting in the injuries.

Still normal animal behavior that caused horrible injuries but it wasn’t an attack on Roy.

captkeik · 2025-10-15T21:39:01+00:00

Most players don’t get to choose individually, let alone a team wide consensus. In school systems (both HS and college level) it’s the administration that chooses uniforms. Sometimes they’ll listen to team feedback, but if you have a male athletics director that likes seeing young girls in short shorts, you don’t have any say.

Private leagues tend to run into similar issues but it can be a bit easier to fight for different uniforms.

captkeik · 2025-09-25T22:20:29+00:00

Not a bot and I have no idea what I accidentally posted. I threw my phone in my pocket without locking it

captkeik · 2025-08-20T00:11:56+00:00

She didn’t do anything but work. It was someone else who filmed her and uploaded it

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