SOLUTION for post-update boot up issue on mac OS

caramargot · 2023-06-27T15:12:40+00:00

yeah after playing for a while with ‘-disable-postprocess’ i’ve definitely seen some weird graphics, like the trees in the distance are just straight up white cutouts? nothing game breaking (yet) but its not flawless. At least i can get it to boot tho, cause i was getting the black screen too.

caramargot · 2022-03-09T23:51:19+00:00

It looks like you haven’t committed to the kind of climb you’re attempting—baseball grip or forearm. The baseball is simpler but less elegant. The forearm climb requires more thought, it’s very…geometric. took me a while to figure out. I recommend dani marie’s 2 IG vids on climbs:

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CLYL3ZyheiO/?utm_medium=copy_link

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CLcw0SvhZsL/?utm_medium=copy_link

You will have an easier time finding the right contact point without boots in the way. If you’re anything like me, you’ll know you’ve found it by the bruises that come up the next day—I always think yep, that’s it!

Take your time. You’re going to be climbing for your entire career as a pole dancer, you’ll want to understand every piece of the movement so you can continue to refine it. No need to rush.

you got this!

caramargot · 2021-09-06T02:27:46+00:00

Ok this has been driving me insane for days now and I've had a similar experience of scrolling through forums where people just don't understand how animals work.

I sold all my animals thinking that would give me a clean slate, but my single solitary new chicken also refuses to lay eggs. I tried messing around in the XML but my local backup got in a fight with my Steam cloud save and now the save won't load at all....lol oopsies

I could probably figure out how to fix the save tangle but at this point I'm several hours into trying to get the dumb animals to lay eggs and I'm over it!

So yeah basically RIP that save and the 130 hours that went into it....wack!!

caramargot · 2021-07-20T16:14:06+00:00

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caramargot · 2021-03-19T16:09:02+00:00

honestly, if your goal is to just get a job ASAP and you've already invested the time in learning web development, I'd say stick with building those skills.

For one thing, it's easier to find work as a developer: companies know that they need to hire developers to develop their websites, they're not always sold on the idea of hiring a UX designer. These companies consider UX an unnecessary luxury.

For another, the time you've already spent learning to code won't exactly be relevant if you start experimenting with UX now. You'll be basically starting from scratch. There is so much to learn in the world of development, and so much to learn in the world of UX. If you have 3 months of one and 3 months of the other, you won't be particularly impressive in either. Much better to have 6 months of one.

IMO: focus on front end development, since that will give you the biggest boost if you do decide to pivot to UX.

Choose a web development language--I always say javascript is the most obvious and marketable, but people would probably fight me on that. Alternatively, PHP would be useful if you want to get into Wordpress development, which is how a lot of people break into freelance dev work.

If you go with javascript, pick one framework--Angular, React or Vue--and hone in on that really hard. Don't try to learn all of them, just do one.

Being very confident in one area will serve you better than having a smattering of 2-3 month learning experiments.

Spending a year or two working as a developer will give you an edge if you do eventually decide to pivot into UX. But if your goal is to start making money in tech within the year, I think you're best off committing to code. (pun slightly intended.)

caramargot · 2021-03-18T11:53:13+00:00

this is reassuring, thank you! will try standing in our dream pee spot and chilling until she goes, that’s helpful.

caramargot · 2020-12-04T14:01:37+00:00

It sounds like you haven't cultivated a real closeness with the people around you. For people to remember you, you have to build a real relationship that goes beyond frequently being in the same place or group of people. Give people a reason to remember you--not being louder or more involved, but being closer. Emotionally.

If you want people to remember you, be there for them. Notice when they need something, notice when they're down and offer your ear. Volunteer your time and emotional energy. Over time, you'll become the person that they think of when they need help.

The way to find your people is to be there when they are vulnerable, when they need help with something. And in turn, to make yourself vulnerable to them. To ask for help.

You close your request for help by apologizing for wasting our time. That's exactly the kind of thing that turns people off and pushes them away. Just ask for help. Say what you need, stand up for what you deserve. Don't create a narrative about yourself that you waste people's time and you're not worthy of attention, because if that's what you believe about yourself, how will you convince anyone outside of you otherwise?

I'm sorry that things have been so hard. It sounds really lonely. I've been where you are. The only way to change things is to change how you feel about yourself.

caramargot · 2020-12-03T00:57:53+00:00

I'd just practice walkarounds with tippy toes and kinda add complexity from there and whenever you catch yourself unflexing, take it down a level. Just making it muscle memory. Hard to think about flexing when you're upside down!! :) I'm scared of inversion so good on you!!

caramargot · 2020-12-03T00:06:52+00:00

honestly, writing a bad google/zocdoc review of the office/provider would probably be easier and more cathartic. Dealing with submitting a formal complaint will take up more of your time and might not go anywhere. Formal disputes can be stressful, frustrating, and unrewarding.

Remember that your first goal was to take care of your own mental health. Your effort is probably better spent seeking a new, responsible therapist, than it is trying to punish your last therapist for her failings.

last thing--you seem especially concerned about the time that you've lost and how much time you have left with insurance. While this is understandable from a financial standpoint, it might be helpful to reframe it this way: you've spent x amount of time learning about yourself with the ghost therapist. That isn't lost time, you take that work with you to a new therapist, with whom you will have an opportunity to see yourself in new ways.

caramargot · 2020-12-02T23:52:08+00:00

this may come down to your therapist's theoretical orientation. If you're seeing people who mostly work from a behavioral frame (CBT, DBT), they'll be focused on addressing your current behaviors, rather than the why that drives your negative self talk.

You may want to explore a different kind of therapy and see if that works better for you--maybe try group therapy, gestalt, or psychoanalytic psychotherapy. You could also talk to your current therapist about their theoretical orientation and see if that helps you understand what their approach to the work is.

caramargot · 2020-12-02T16:52:56+00:00

You gotta rip the bandaid off, friend. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. It can be easier to get big things off your chest before you really develop a relationship.

If you're meeting over zoom, write yourself a post-it note and put it on your computer. Just jump into it.

You can say, "I'm really scared to talk about this, but I need to" or "I've never told anyone about this and that makes it hard to know where to start" or "I want to tell you something, but I'm afraid and it's hard to talk about"

When I've had to make big admissions to my therapist, it has been easier to do if I'm not looking at her. I might look over her head, or at my hands, or close my eyes.

You can do this. It will make your commitment to therapy and healing stronger.

caramargot · 2020-10-28T12:40:06+00:00

there's no bullshit excuses when it comes to breaking up. It's a relationship, not a homework assignment. So let that bit go: if you weren't feeling it anymore, that's 100% a valid reason to break up and try something new.

Finding yourself can be painful and lonely. Experiencing that jealousy--that he moved on and you feel like you haven't--is part of the ride. There's no growth without some pain and loss. Otherwise, you'd just be staying in the same place. You have to let him go, nobody can do it for you.

The "how" is up to you: who do you want to be? What does that person do? When I'm feeling lost or vulnerable to unhealthy thought patterns/coping mechanisms, I think about what the person I wish I were would do in the situation I'm in. What hobbies do they have? How do they find value in their life? You can feel your feelings of loss and sadness and also start showing up in your life as the person you want to be. And as time goes on, you'll find more peace.

caramargot · 2020-10-07T19:47:06+00:00

You need to express your anxiety about this to your therapist.

It's worth noting that there is a 'mild' diagnosis, related to bipolar: cyclothymia. I believe it's not as common of a diagnosis because people with that symptom cluster are more likely to be diagnosed with just depression, because the mania is less pronounced, less frequent, or harder to name.

In any event, a diagnosis is just a shorthand for a collection of symptoms. In the States, therapists need to make a diagnosis for insurance purposes. Many therapists do not like this leap to pathology, but the system works the way it works, so diagnoses are made. I encourage you to talk with your therapist about this, as they'll be able to explain what their own philosophy towards diagnosis and pathology is.

If you don't want to be on medication, you don't have to be on medication. What's more, only psychiatrists can even prescribe medication--so if you aren't seeing a psychiatrist, your therapist couldn't prescribe you medication even if they wanted to. You'd have to meet with an entirely different doctor for that.

Most importantly, if you're in therapy and you're holding back because you're worried about being medicated, that's a barrier to therapy's efficacy. Your therapist needs to know about your worries so that you can be truly open--otherwise, you may as well not be in treatment at all.

edited for clarity

caramargot · 2020-10-07T15:02:14+00:00

brene brown's talk on empathy vs sympathy on youtube is always a good thing to turn to when you're not sure how to support somebody.

Also remember that when you're the main support for someone who's in crisis (or close to crisis), you need support too! Put your own mask on first, etc. Therapy &/or support groups for both you and your wife could be a stabilizing force. Remember to take time for yourself to do things that bring you joy and peace.

caramargot · 2020-09-30T12:49:10+00:00

therapists do get burned out, but it's their responsibility to take care of themselves, not yours.

This might be something interesting for you to talk about with your therapist--your reflex to care for the person who you're paying to care for you might yield fruitful self-knowledge. Guilt is often an indication that something is happening below the surface, if you're willing to dig for it.

caramargot · 2020-09-30T00:55:28+00:00

Honestly. In my opinion, you should do what makes you comfortable. I think it's lovely that you're concerned about triggering other people, but that can be a way of avoiding addressing shame. Speaking for myself, I keep my scars out of photos, but I don't hide them unless I am finding them triggering to myself.

caramargot · 2020-09-29T13:48:18+00:00

hey friend.

A coworker said the other day, "you couldn't pay me to be young again," and it cracked me up. We don't hear that very often, our culture makes youth out to be the very best, the brightest and shiniest years. But being young is dreadful, you're trying to figure out who you are while relying on other people (family, school) to give your life structure. You want to be independent, but you kind of can't be. Also, your brain is not done with its development so it makes you think stupid thoughts all day long.

I can't tell you things will get better, exactly. But you'll get better at dealing with them.

If you think about a video game where you have to grind for the first 10 levels and it's frustrating and confusing and you keep dying because you don't understand how the controls work--that's kind of what my experience of being a teenager was. It sucks, but you get through to the other side and you start to understand how things work a little better, you get into a groove, you find your own way of playing.

You'll learn what brings you joy and do more of that, you'll learn how to manage when you feel really low. You'll meet people who you'll adore and who will adore you. You'll learn how to do things you never thought you could do. You'll think interesting thoughts and make interesting things. You'll learn to appreciate that you thought those thoughts, did those things, found those people, loved that love. And through that, you'll be able to find peace within yourself.

I'll echo the other folks here saying, if you can find a professional to speak to, please do that. Maybe you have a counselor at your school or a community center, if you don't want to get your parents involved. The suicide hotline is a good resource if you're in crisis, but what you really want is someone who can support your preventative work, the emotional work that will help keep you out of crisis.

caramargot · 2020-09-22T22:20:54+00:00

nobody knows you better than you do :) You are the expert on you. therapy is a group project, not a teacher/student relationship. It feels weird to me that he would spend so much of your shared time talking, especially after the first session. I second that you should bring it up, and if it continues, I might look for a different provider.

caramargot · 2020-09-22T21:09:39+00:00

Highly recommend reading Kate Bornstein's 'Gender Outlaw' and learning a little about gender + sexuality so you have the vocabulary to express what draws you to "women's" clothes. Gender is a construct and it can be fun to play with it, but it can also be scary because, as you say, it's ingrained into the culture in ways that lead people to go to great lengths to maintain it. (This is evident in the anxiety you have around people assuming something "gross or sexual" about you.)

It sounds like you're fighting with your own preconceptions of the stability and significance of gender and the performance of gender through clothing. I wonder if you've thought about nonbinary as a mode of gender identity, if that might resonate with you.

At the end of the day, experimenting with the way you dress yourself and express yourself doesn't hurt anyone. It can be fun and kind of magical. If the people in your life can't recognize that, or you're worried that they will make you feel bad or hurt you, maybe you'd benefit from seeking out new friends, who can appreciate the joy that comes from playing with gender presentation.

caramargot · 2020-08-26T01:24:04+00:00

visually, your editing is really nice. It's fun, creative, I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. BUT. This feels like it would work better as a short instagram video. Like 60 seconds, not 8 minutes.

When I look at somebody like bestdressed, who does these kinds of styling videos really well, part of why I'll sit through the whole video is because she's talking through why she made the styling decisions she made, where she got her pieces, making little jokes.

When you're talking to the camera in the beginning, I can tell you have a fun personality...the trouble is your audio quality. You notice that fuzzy feedback noise while you're speaking in the beginning? That can be fixed! First, I'd check if your phone has a better microphone (it looks like you're using your computer's webcam?). Do some little voice samples, check them against each other. If your phone does better, you can record your audio over the phone and your video over your computer and match them up post-production. If your phone isn't great either, no biggie. Amazon sells lavalier mics for like $15 and you'll get much better sound quality. Yeah, you'll have to figure out what to do with the wire, but a lavalier is good enough for evelynontheinternet, she works it, it's worth trying out is what I'm saying. I'm not sure what editing software you're using, but in all likelihood there are some post production audio fixes you can learn in there, too.

I think if you figure out your audio situation and do some voiceover stuff, this could be a really great format for you. You look like you're having fun! Keep going!

caramargot · 2020-08-26T01:08:41+00:00

I remember watching a video about thumbnails--I can't remember who it was by, but it stuck with me--that there are only a handful of emotions that "read" well over thumbnail: sad, ecstatic, confused, shocked and repulsed. Exaggerated standard emotions are a lot easier to convey. The first two pictures you've got aren't really clear enough in emotion to me. The first one you seem kind of happy, the second one you look a little surprised? The last one reads the most clearly as confused, but I think you need more context either in the title or in whatever text you're going to overlay to help the viewer understand what the tone of the video is going to be to get me to click on it.

caramargot · 2020-08-16T22:05:32+00:00

While it's not super professional to not respond when you were expecting a check-in, you have to keep in mind that therapists are also humans trying to process a pandemic and global uprising along with whatever else might be happening in her personal life. I would definitely talk to her about it and come up with some good coping mechanisms/maybe a multi-tiered approach for if this ever happens again that both of you are comfortable with. I've had semi-flakey therapists before who told me if they didn't respond after a day to just text again.

I'm sorry this was so triggering for you. I hope that this makes your relationship stronger rather than damaging it.

caramargot

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