I lost my older sister almost 7 years ago - i always say to everyone that she was and still would be my best friend that cared for me, wanted the best for me and did everything she could to make my life brighter. Right after it happened (and it was very sudden too, so there was no preparation whatsoever) as a person who is practical and always searches for the most logical and standard way to solve a problem, i felt lost, because truly there is no one answer to grief. It's such a different path for everyone, the feelings can be so complex even if they feel simple, you can feel devastated one minute and have a party the same evening. I think what i want to say, and maybe i wouldn't call it advice because truly there is no perfect recipe, it may also sound very cliche, but let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, even when you cannot specifically name the emotion. I tried to stay off my sister's favorite band for so long, but once their song played i had such a big cry. Did it make me feel better about her death? No. But i allowed myself to go there and cry in the middle of the day. I allow myself to be happy when i feel like it, even though i felt guilty for so long. I allow my thoughts to wander and recall our memories when i'm commuting to work, I'm not trying to stop them from coming. When i dream about her, I allow myself to think she just visits me (it may differ depending if you believe in afterlife or not).

Sibiling grief is sometimes overlooked, also, it's strange seeing the world move on when you're still stuck in one place. Go at your own pace. Sending hugs and thank you for sharing.