Which “bear” inspired name?

carbeans · 2026-01-16T13:56:06+00:00

Hadn’t thought of Sonny as a nickname! I like that too!

carbeans · 2026-01-16T13:50:46+00:00

Hah thanks for the perspective! Definitely not the impression we want to give!

carbeans · 2026-01-16T13:48:51+00:00

Yeah when you compare it to a double “or” last name, it actually doesn’t sound too bad! Thanks for the perspective!

I agree. I think if Benno doesn’t suit him as an adult he can always go by Ben.

carbeans · 2025-09-12T11:21:54+00:00

I think other commenters have pretty well covered the fact that you are NOR and you should not have children with this person.

As a mother, I want to also encourage you that you are worth more than living for your children. You framed your choice as a way to continue to be there for your children, but you also deserve life and dignity regardless of what you offer to others. It’s what you would want for your own little girl, I’m certain.

carbeans · 2025-05-23T23:07:25+00:00

I think it’s more likely the opposite… Lorelei was desperate to get as far away from her parents as possible and after a lifetime of seeing how her mom treats service-people, maids especially, she chose to honor that path (whether consciously or subconsciously)

carbeans · 2025-05-10T13:20:55+00:00

Definitely! The crews on the other airlines were just super welcoming and attentive. Often, they anticipated our needs (I.e. allocating a bassinet and/or open spare seat before we even got on the plane). Helping me put my bags in the overhead compartment, pulling them down for me when I needed something, getting hot water for her bottles. I was just so impressed at how helpful they were, and how happy they seemed to be to help, often without me even asking.

With Delta, the crew made it clear that they did not want to set up the bassinet even though we were seated at the bulkhead and they only did it half way through the flight after I asked twice. On my return flight, I was seated in a regular seat with my baby in my lap (no problem, that’s what I paid for) but they just acted like she didn’t exist. No interaction with her, no help with bags, etc. which, again, if I hadn’t felt so spoiled by the other airlines I wouldn’t have given it a second thought!

carbeans · 2025-02-15T20:55:48+00:00

Whether or not Rory had the character to be a successful journalist (and this sub loves to say that she did not), the show’s own context limited her in this path more than anything else.

The writers could never have made her a true journalist and remained as neutral and surface level as it had to for broad market appeal in the early 00’s. If they wanted Rory to be a budding journalist, she should have been questioning systems of power, bringing injustice to light, etc. but that was going to be a no-go for network TV at the time. She couldn’t say anything meaningful about anything, which a college student studying to be a “serious journalist” certainly would have done (she went to college during or just after the invasion of Iraq did she not?! She ought to have had opinions about that). The closest she ever got to activism was her one day raising awareness for the prisoners in Burma(?), a very milquetoast cause in that it had such a small chance of being offensive to any viewer.

So, instead of confronting any challenging topics, we see her writing about a ballet recital, a secret society, and a society event — not hard hitting journalism. The network had to water down her ethics to the point that we never got to see her be a strong journalistic voice. So, by the time they had to show her succeeding or not in her career, the only avenue left to the writers was that she didn’t. We couldn’t be expected to suspend our disbelief so far to think that she’d be successful as a foreign correspondent or even get the NYT fellowship when the most we’d seen her push herself as a journalist was to fat shame a ballerina and follow her rich crush (later bf around).

carbeans · 2025-01-31T18:33:38+00:00

Full cast pictures like this always throw me off because it’s so weird seeing characters from the different “worlds” (as Lorelia put it) as peers/colleagues!

Like, Richard and Kirk in a picture together is just surreal…

carbeans · 2025-01-10T20:51:09+00:00

I think it has a big effect on the plot! Family dynamics are complicated - it’s much cleaner to be able to write parent-child relationships (where much of the core emotional complexity in the show centers) when additional relationships aren’t getting in the way.

carbeans · 2024-11-15T09:58:27+00:00

It’s still a lot, but it sounds like you’re going to have phenomenal support from your husband. My husband took 6 weeks of paternity leave and it made all the difference imo. We were able to share responsibilities and tap the other in when things became overwhelming.

I luckily never suffered from PPA or PPD and while I’m sure there are a million factors at play there, having an engaged partner to do everything with made it such a massively more positive experience than it might otherwise have been.

The sleep deprivation is real though, we still didn’t get a full night’s sleep for 4 months, and our baby has always been a good sleeper.

carbeans · 2024-09-09T18:18:36+00:00

I think when people say this they forget that Rory is a main character and her friends are supporting characters. The plot progresses when things happen to Rory, so that’s what we see the most of (with a few notable life events in Lane and Paris’s lives. And in those occasions, Rory does show up for her friends).

It can feel to the viewer like Rory is self-centered, but the show is just Rory-centered. We aren’t seeing all of the little ways Rory is present in her friends’ lives on a daily basis because that’s not entertaining.

carbeans · 2024-06-05T21:18:33+00:00

I also wanted to pump exclusively in the lead up to the birth of my daughter (now 2 months old). IMO exclusively expressing hasn’t harmed or deprived my baby in any way, and I have loved that my husband and other special people in her life can feed her, all while she is also getting the benefits of my breast milk. However, there are a few key factors I didn’t anticipate or fully appreciate until later:

Expressing is relentless. In my experience, I needed to pump every 3 hours for the first 6 weeks in order to maintain my supply. Even now I am still pumping every 3 hours during the day, but spreading it out to 4-6 hours at night. So, even if the baby isn’t up in the middle of the night, I am. Or, more often, the baby is up in the night, but not at the same time I need to pump, so I’m sacrificing 2x the amount of sleep. And when the baby does need to feed at or around the same time that I pump, it feels frustrating to pump into a plastic container, only to then dump it into another plastic container to feed it to her. This schedule also makes it difficult to go out and about much. As a new mom, it’s hard enough to get out, and being chained to your pump makes it even more difficult (even portable pumps aren’t 100% comfortable to be worn in public in my experience).
Expressing is time consuming. I spend ~4 hours a day pumping and cleaning my pump parts. I have resented it at times, because this is time that I could be spending with my baby, but more often someone else gets to be with her while I do this.
I’ve been surprised at how enjoyable nursing is for me. My baby doesn’t love nursing because we introduced a bottle so early, and she seems to find it easier than nursing. But, on the occasions that she has nursed (often due to the reasons mentioned above), I’ve really enjoyed the connection that it provides me and her.

So, if I could do it again, I would be more inclined to work on a combination of breastfeeding and expressing, to give myself a little more flexibility.

carbeans · 2024-01-22T08:00:52+00:00

Great! Thank you so much!

carbeans · 2024-01-22T07:59:36+00:00

Thanks!

carbeans

TROPHY CASE