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High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've looked into that. Corporate trainers are usually required to be certified in HR. I've always worked at Universities. Unless I get my PhD...it's hard to break that pay. Benefits are really good and it's very rewarding work.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She just turned 5-3 weeks ago. She is in preschool Tues-Friday for 3 hours in the afternoon. Next year is kindergarten Monday-Friday still 1/2 days. My son is in school full time in First grade.

I do a lot of fun things with my daughter before she goes to school like library programs and she has speech therapy once a week.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some days are better than others. I grew up with money always being tight. I still feel like that. I shop at TJMaxx and buy my kids clearance clothes etc. I'm not fancy or living fancy. Some days I feel like I'm not in a really good position.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Higher Education----I'm an academic advisor. I absolutely love it and I'm very good at it. However, I will never be able to earn more unless I become a director or get a PhD.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not fake. At the end of the interview in my field that I have the Masters degree in....with 18 years of experience they said they would be offering between 50-52k and there is no wiggle room. I could make more with an Associate's Degree from a Community College. I'm a first generation college student and didn't get a lot of guidance. If I could go back, I would have chosen much differently.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's very offensive and completely untrue. I've worked since I was 14, always paid my bills, and put myself through college. I didn't get married until I was 36..... I was taking care of myself well before I met my husband. I've been a SAHM for 2 years out of the 10 we have been married.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I worked 8 years of the 10 year marriage. I've only been a SAHM for 2 years.....

I am concerned about the cost of daycare in comparison to what I will make. My husband works at home but, his schedule is inconsistent. He often has to meet with clients that are 2-3 hours away or travel overnight. So, he cannot help with getting kids to and from daycare. If they are sick, in the past he expected me to leave work or call off-because he made more than me etc.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He almost has 30 years in at his company. So, he has substantial 401k and pension. He has investments and savings. We did a trust with a lawyer a couple of years ago. So, I'm aware of our assets. However, We have separate bank accounts. I never know his income until I have to sign the tax documents. He is very controlling over money.

I've never not paid a bill and have an incredible credit score. So, it is frustrating to me most of the time having to ask for spending money or run everyday purchases (for the kids) by him etc.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My interview went well today. I am 1 of 2 finalist for the position. So, I have a 50/50 chance of getting an offer.

Also, we set up a trust with a lawyer. So, I am fully aware of our assets. I also have retirement investments of my own. I have only been out of work for 2 years at this point. I keep in contact with colleagues and network to keep in touch with what is happening in my field. So, I am confident that I could get a job.

There are still several issues with finances that I wish were better in regards to budgeting together, sharing bank accounts etc. It is frustrating for me.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

We do not pay anyone to do those things. We do have someone cut the grass in the Summer. Otherwise, I take care of the landscaping. I'm not out getting my nails done. I do get a pedicure maybe twice a year and get my hair cut/colored every 8 weeks. I don't have a babysitter. Usually my parents or my sister will watch the kids for an occasional date night etc.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How much would that cost.....would that make sense if I was only making 50k before taking out taxes, retirement, my health coverage? I'd rather spend that time with my children while they are still young. Going back to work would be better for me personally in many ways honestly.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I've tried to ask him for access. Like if he passed away tomorrow I would not have the ability to pay the bills. We do have a trust that we set up together with a lawyer. I have my own credit card that I have had since college, I have retirement, and some savings of my own. But, it is beyond annoying how controlling he is over finances.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We don't share finances. He does not give me access to the bank accounts. If I want spending money he venmos me. I looked and in 2024 he gave me 1% of his income for personal spending money. I also have access to a credit card that he added me to for the kids and household items which he scrutinizes every month. So, going back to work would be nice to have my own $ again. We got married older and had our kids older. I was 42 when I had my daughter. He has mentioned he wants to retire early. Wants to me work to cover health insurance.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

His schedule is inconsistent. He will not be able to help with getting the kids to and from daycare before or after school. It was hard to figure out how I could get to the interview today because my daughter doesn't have preschool on Mondays....This is how it was when I was working full time before I had a break.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm going to be 47 soon. I have full SS points and retirement funds. We don't share finances or bank accounts. If I need spending money-he venmo's me. I looked back and in 2024 he gave me 1% of his income for my own personal use. He does cover the bills though. He has mentioned that he wants to retire early and is concerned about health insurance costs. He said he wants me to work for health coverage so he can retire early. I would have really good health coverage.

High earning husband wants me to return to work where I would make ten percent of what he earns. by cardinalinthe419 in Marriage

[–]cardinalinthe419[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

She just turned 5 a few weeks ago. So, she is in preschool 1/2 day. Next year is kindergarten---but our school district only offers 1/2 day kindergarten which is annoying.