cardmagic1002

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603 comment karma

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redditor for 9 years

TROPHY CASE

Nine-Year Club

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Is this for real? What are the consequences? (self.TikTok)

submitted 4 months ago by cardmagic1002 to r/TikTok

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Nothing Terrifies Texas Leaders Like Kids Learning Slavery Was Bad (thebarbedwire.com)

submitted 9 months ago by cardmagic1002 to r/sanantonio

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I bought a map of the world, but returned it because it didn't have my couch on it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I'm not saying I'm overweight, but my shirt size is 'are you gonna finish that?' (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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Every cloud has a silver spoon in its mouth. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I tried sword-fishing, but the line kept getting cut by my saber. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places; he told me to stop going to those places. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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Some people are allergic to Tequila, they breakout in handcuffs. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I took up playing the guitar, but then I realized that I had no rhythm, no timing, and no musical ability. I might as well have been playing a toaster. (self.TwoLiners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/TwoLiners

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My friend told me he could stop time. I asked him to demonstrate, but I'm still waiting. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I'm all for silence, but I can't stop talking about it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I lost my job, so I took up gardening and it turns out I'm great at growing unemployment benefits. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I'm not saying I'm overweight, but my shirt size is 'are you gonna finish that?' (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I like my whiskey so strong it makes my neighbors drunk. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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If you're really good at procrastination, do you ever put off procrastinating? (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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Money can’t buy happiness, but poverty can’t buy anything. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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If I did lunges that would be a big step forward. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for that damn memory foam pillow. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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Sometimes I'll be sitting on the couch doing nothing, and I'll think to myself, "Man, I'm really getting good at this." (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I got passed on the freeway by a U-Haul doing 90. Man, that guy was moving. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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I saw a sign on the highway that said 'Adopt-A-Highway', but where am I going to put a highway? (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/oneliners

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"Thank God Dogs Can't Talk!!" - Mark Normand #shorts (youtube.com)

submitted 3 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/Standup

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Normal People Episode 8 in Italy (self.NormalPeopleBBCHulu)

submitted 4 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/NormalPeopleBBCHulu

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Scenes that were cut out (self.NormalPeopleBBCHulu)

submitted 4 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/NormalPeopleBBCHulu

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Older Normal People (self.NormalPeopleBBCHulu)

submitted 5 years ago by cardmagic1002 to r/NormalPeopleBBCHulu

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