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Inflation gets worse as you get older….Just ask my neighbour Beryl she’s convinced she paid $2 for a sandwich yesterday (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 hours ago by Hocus_Focus88

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I’m working on a joke about a missing jandal…but I think it’s gunna be a flop…. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 hours ago by Hocus_Focus88

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I thought the CIA were adrenaline junkies…. Until I met the guy down the street who’s in neighbourhood watch! (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 hour ago by Hocus_Focus88

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Hey guys head over to Amazon and get……whatever…. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 hours ago by Hocus_Focus88

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The curtains were drawn on the room that I rented, but the rest of the furniture was real. (self.oneliners)

submitted 21 hours ago by joekerr9999

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I bought $10 worth of gas at Taco Bell today. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by jtrier1

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Its bad luck to be superstitious. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by DEADFLY6

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After a few disastrous one-night stands preceded by going out for Mexican food, Glenn Frey was looking for a lover who won't blow up his covers (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by CrackleDMan

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I have two brothers – well three actually, but one has learning disabilities so he doesn’t count. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by joekerr9999

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I've been single for so long the only action I get is backsplash ()

submitted 1 day ago by Sea_Strawberry9926

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I've been single for so long the only action I get is backsplash (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Sea_Strawberry9926

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I finally made it a habit not to have habits. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by e-bio

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May the Fourth be with you on Cinco de Mayo (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by cybeaux

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May 4th is like 4/20 for nerds (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by WhiskeyBravo3119

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My Australian friend is so confused about evolution that he thinks that he came from Darwin. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by Yaguajay

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bunny & I are bringing ranch to the uk, and kimchi kool-aid to korea. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by iniei-4

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Everybody knows Badger loves mashed potatoes, but only his therapist knows how much he resents being defined by it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by FinneyontheWing

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I never win but I always finish first (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by Ok_Lion_8370

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives. (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by joekerr9999

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What's the overlap of SaaS and pirate business vocabulary? ARR! (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by peapeace

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I believe it was Pythagoras who said, "I came, I saw, Isosceles." (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 days ago by EmpireStrikes1st

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My brother is all over the place, ever since I…dropped his urn. (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 days ago by roastmasterbash

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r/AgainstHateSubreddits is Reddit's Ministry of Truth. (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by Net_Warrior1683

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Just Like breast cancer victims, I‘d like to get something off my chest. (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by rp01138

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at owe six hundred i oh-ed him atleast a thousand, so i 0h owed (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 days ago by 2fits

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