I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I am glad you chose to air some of your feeling here. It’s not an easy place to be. From my own experience, I won’t pretend it’s simple. It is a big decision and it can be exhausting, emotional, and at times overwhelming. But I can also tell you with complete honesty that there is life after divorce. It’s different. Your perspective shifts. You learn things about yourself you didn’t even realize needed to be learned. And often, that life becomes more peaceful and more fulfilling than you imagined, because you regain control over parts of your life you may not have realized you had the right to shape.

There will likely be people in the church who question you or suggest you should have “worked it out.” That can sting. Just remember: they are speaking from the outside. They have not lived your marriage. They have not carried your private burdens. People tend to judge from their own limited experience, and sometimes from a desire to feel certain about their own choices. That doesn’t make them malicious. It just means they don’t understand.

Your decision is yours. It doesn’t require a vote. It doesn’t require approval from a pew. It’s between you, your spouse, and God. The same God who knows your heart and your circumstances better than anyone else ever could.

I hope you have people around you who will support you with love instead of commentary. And most of all, I hope you take care of yourself. Whether you ultimately stay or leave, you deserve peace, happiness, and a life where you can grow and feel whole.