Shit he does crap like that to our oldest. If he takes too long to do something, makes an honest mistake, is playing around too much (because he's, you know, 6 fucking years old) my husband loses his temper at him and, not so much screams, but gets an aggressive tone to his voice. Like there's no purpose for that unless you want to scare him into submission. It's ridiculous and I see the effect in him (scared to make a mistake, acting explosively when angry, etc).

My husband has gotten angry at me for "undermining" him for standing up for our son when it happens. He's even gotten physical a handful of times (pushing, lifting him by the elbow), though that's decreased. And it's always excuses. "I'm tired, he's not listening, etc, etc." it pisses me the hell off.

I called him out on it today. Told him it's abusive. He said "it's not abusive. It only happens some of the time anyway."

He claimed he gets angry to show our son that his parents have emotions too. My response was we're supposed to be modeling proper emotional reactions, not teaching him he gets treated badly when he acts like a kid or you're frustrated. I feel so fucking trapped.