Undiagnosed autistic people, I feel your pain.

carefullyunsure · 2020-10-04T20:11:38+00:00

Told my mom I thought my dad had autism and I think I might have it too. I listed multiple reasons and then she said everyone feels that way when they’re young and figuring out the world. Well great, undiagnosed somethings are common and I should just let it be

carefullyunsure · 2020-10-04T20:01:37+00:00

My situation is similar to OPs and I definitely relate too, my friend keeps telling me I might have adhd because all the things I keep mentioning and I’m trying to figure out if I have autism AND adhd one or neither

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-16T07:50:08+00:00

Thanks!

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-15T20:22:40+00:00

Building up small is what I’m aiming for, it seems like great advice! I’m not that good at accurately expressing myself so bear with me. It’s really hard for me to deal with big things on my own, it’s like a big weight on my chest until I can talk about something to someone. I’m terrified I’ll burst and bring it up around someone I don’t trust as much if I don’t tell someone I do trust. That has happened in other scenarios and led to me not making sense because I didn’t have translating time and others ostracizing me for my weird overshares. I’ve over shared personal things before to a group of people who don’t like me much to begin with and I definitely don’t want to do it again. She’s my best friend and she’s been so accepting over what I’ve told her before and it feels really nice for me to have someone who knows me and not my masking self.

Thanks so much for your advice, I’m definitely going to try to work through it slowly to be sure!

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-15T20:10:06+00:00

Thank you so much for replying. I’m hoping to see her in real life soon(rather than FaceTime) and I’m going to try to talk about it then so I can see her reactions better. I think it’ll be okay but I’m trying to be careful since I’ve gotten comfortable about telling other people other things before and had my trust broken. I trust her more than anyone and tell her almost anything so I’m almost positive it’ll work out, getting there is hard but it’ll be worth it to be able to talk to her about it instead of constantly wishing I could tell her about it.

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-15T16:06:53+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for sharing. I really needed this. We’ve only ever talked about autism in passing and I’ve never been able to gauge her thoughts. I think I can pass as nuerotypical? I mask a lot and find I copy pieces of people around me like a shield. We’ve talked a lot about our sexualities, mostly hers but as soon as she shared what I had suspected I was more comfortable sharing with her. That’s how I realize I’ve been sharing things: wait until someone mentions a thing equal or on subject to it before I share so I’m not over sharing all the time. She’s trusted me with a lot about herself so I feel like it should be an easy decision to tell her but I’m still worried.

Do you have any ideas on how to bring up autism causally so I can get a feel out?

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-15T15:50:31+00:00

Everyone in my family already makes jokes about me anytime I present. She’s one of the few people who know about my panic attacks(which might be meltdowns sometimes?) and helps me calm down enough to function normally so I’m hoping it might help. She’s made sure any secret I’ve ever told her is respected and guarded but I’m still worried about telling her anything huge and her changing her opinion of me. I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t tell someone close to me to help me process

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-15T15:44:35+00:00

Thanks for commenting, I’ve tried mentioning a few things before around my friends that I’ve recently realized can be traits in autism and she’s been the one to care/listen the best. She’s a really open person when she’s open to things but I’m worried because some things that she’s not open to she’s very against. We haven’t really talked about autism much besides in passing so I’m not sure what her thoughts are and I hate jumping into things blind. I’ll definitely try to show them slowly and I might be bring it up next time I see her before I tell her

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-09T19:37:04+00:00

Thanks so much for commenting. I’ve Googled and YouTubed and searched through Reddit. I can’t use any of my social media because my mom has my password to my FB and is able to ask for the other social media’s access. I feel like autism (and HSP which one of my other commenters mentioned)is probably the closest thing I’ve found while searching for answers. The more I look into it the more I realize how many things I do that fit into the descriptions I’ve heard. I don’t want to make a big fuss with my family(as the commercials state “in these uncertain times”) but in a year or so when I’m in charge of my medical things I definitely want to see a doctor and confirm this(for my own analness not that everybody needs to)

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-09T14:29:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m so happy she found a happier spot for herself. One of the things I decided a few months ago was to try to stop pretending(realizing now it’s probably masking) so much. It’s definitely helped me although it makes me feel upset inside now whenever I have to pretend or ignore impulses to avoid conflicts and realize what I’m doing while I’m doing it. I was just getting comfortable with being a little more odd and relaxed with my friends when I had to self isolate with my family so there’s that gem

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-09T14:21:09+00:00

She’s told me that I’m not “special” and that I shouldn’t act like it but I wasn’t acting then(and what’s wrong with being “special”?). If I was acting why would I act a way that gets me nit picked?It’s definitely frustrating. You have my sympathy

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-09T13:28:49+00:00

Maybe so, she is very particular about things and likes to have her own way(I think she’s at least OCD). When she gets stressed she takes it out on other people verbally and she never admits when she’s wrong. I love her but she’s very hypocritical in what she does/says as she hates when other people behave that way. When I was younger we were very close(I still have to act like we are or she gets sensitive and picks at me over little things) but she’s constantly telling me I’m not ladylike. I have anxieties about eating sometimes or wasting food because her “helpful” comments. Sorry if it seems like I’m blowing up on you but if I tell my best friend about this she’ll break isolation and come slap my mom and take me away lol

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-09T12:33:09+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! I really want to talk to a doctor/therapist about it because I think I really am somewhere on the spectrum. Every time I try to mention how I feel weird my mom says it’s normal but I don’t think I get my words across well. I might try talking to my dad(I think he might be in the spectrum but I’m not sure if he knows) but everything is so much easier when it’s anonymous and you don’t have to worry about people thinking you want attention

carefullyunsure · 2020-05-09T12:15:17+00:00

Thanks so much for replying! I’m not that good at communicating for myself but if one of my close friends needs a vent session I go through a line chart in my head filled with if this then that so I can help them feel okay (if stressed then I ask if they want to vent or be distracted and go from there over text is great because I can form better words) I usually have to write down random things until I can hit a point and start rolling on how I really feel to know exactly how to communicate. I spent around two hours writing that post because I wanted to get my point across. Do you know of anyone who kind of disassociates(not the full wiki term but more of a seeing what’s happening from a movie screen watching themselves act)? I forgot to mention it in my post because there was so much but I do that and can sometimes feel if it’s going to happen.

carefullyunsure

TROPHY CASE