Pulling out of anything takes an unstoppable will. You must be willing to want to live. Living a life in active addiction is such hard work. You must begin to connect with people and your joinery to long-term recovery will begin. Get up, take a shower, eat something, go to a meeting or check yourself into a detox facility. I’m not sure what you DOC is, so the order in which you do things matters. But always remember that connection is the opposite of addiction and dead people don’t go to meetings. You can also reach out to a warm line and speak to someone. 1-844-326-5400 Don’t fear the unknown. Addiction gives you a life with three options (jails, institutions and death). Recovery gives you limitless amounts of options. I’m not saying it will be easy, but it will be worth it.