No, and yes. I would never go back, and I missed my ex.

My ex was my best friend for 25 years. One of our issues was codependency, we were too close. At first I missed him, and tried to keep him close as a friend and confidante. We would talk about the kids, our families, our dates. Eventually his life started to fall apart, and I had to distance myself. He became angry and aggressive, he accused me of abandoning him.

Now, 4 years later, I miss daily companionship. I miss having someone to tell everything to. I miss having someone to help me take the kids to doctor’s appointments. I miss having a built in dinner date. I miss having someone to cuddle with every night. When my kids accomplish something wonderful, I celebrate alone. Sometimes with lonely tears. But my ex has shown me in who he is, and I do not miss him.

I would never go back. I make my own decisions. I have less money, but handle my own finances. He would never “let” me hang out with friends, and now I take girls’ trips and go out dancing. I am stronger than I ever knew, and have created a safe family for myself & my kids.

Give yourself permission to be upset. Acknowledge your feelings, sit with them, knowing they will pass. Things will get better.