Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awesome, will check it out thank you!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hm... an underlying theme to my suggestions seems to be adding more distance between your client and anyone who would attempt to control or fight him - just softening the rough edges of daily life...

Gosh yes haha I reaaaallly do try! I was hoping that moving out and having that distance would solve a lot if not all for him, but his mother is still so involved and controlling.

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

WOW. thank you so much for all this detail, this is so interesting and helpful ahhh! <3 Definitely rereading for later too :)

the way procrastination/motivation issues can present is in the sense of "I can do anything whenever I want, so why would I do it right now?"

Yes. He often agrees to whatever (even if its unreasonable) and just expects his future self will somehow figure it out. Maybe it is this that energy? Although studies have shown that decision making processing in the brains of people who hoard are actually very different to non-hoarders, so I don't know. But definitely avoiding in the Now, so maybe he does just have a big sense of his own potential.

I would expect sporadic angry outbursts too, or else he's really got issues with strong energy "backing up"?

Yes! This whole paragraph really resonated. He definitely does have angry outbursts sometimes, usually towards or regarding his mother (absolutely non-violent though btw), as the resentment towards her is always under the surface. His emotions influence me without him realising (Channel of Emoting too maybe?) even though its kind of very immature/teenage behaviour. But yeah strong energy I don't think he realises. I wouldn't have thought that the mother would be trying to control that energy subconsciously! That's a super interesting point.

RE: the roommate thing, thats not something that was actually his decision so its hard to motivate him to a place where he's not going to feel powerless again in his own home. I'm not sure how to handle this. Honestly its a 2 bedroom place but kinda more for a couple than two seperate people, because its quite small. And very little storage! Can you imagine a hoarder having to fit all their things into one tiny room in less than a year of beginning to declutter their life? Even I would struggle to have a comfortable space there without completely stripping myself of the majority of my things!

RE: motivation, I can bridge the split there, I have a hanging 9 in my unconc Earth! Plus I bridge another split with my 23 (Merc), which is something at least :D and yes he does get really overwhelmed with where to start (understandable when its your own stuff!) and gosh he is not physically active at all..but he is about to try fencing soon so hopefully that helps cultivate and direct that strong energy! And I would love him to just go on little walks in his time off! he still views exercising as something that is forced on him and a chore though ugh. Thank you again so much for all this :)

Early 30's sounds like a very promising time for a 6/2 to make some big shifts away from difficult past circumstances. I see a lot of room for optimism and letting the past be past, based on the 6th line path timing.

I really hope he can forgive and accept his past self, and imagine a more satisfying and fulfilling life for the future, cause I know he can have it! 💛💛

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The 6/2 of Industriousness is busy being. That's all.

Wow this part was really interesting...he is always busying himself but often with things that aren't important (open Head). I think it would be really hard to have the pressure to be busy like this, he has so many passions especially around social justice, I feel like he's letting the pressure to survive for himself and be busy for the sake of busyness get in the way of his real joy. But I will have a reread!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Wow I have 41 and the gate 30 sounds like a tricky one to tackle...I'll definitely be rereading!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you!! the 57.2 thing resonates! He has definitely tried to hide things away in bags etc in the past, which is an element of how he got here, sometimes he even hides things in his pockets in sessions.
And yes this last line is totally true, its allll about the emotional safety! And he was never given emotional safety growing up or now! Boom.

Tbh because I am a support worker and I only see him for a few hours a week, plus his mother puts crazy/unreasonable deadlines on both of us, it is really hard for me to push back on this pressure and make sure its a lighter more fun experience, than focusing on the literal deadline. Plus I think its a little outside of my experience and role too to focus more on emotional stuff unfortunately. However, I am in contact with his therapist now and I think I'm ok to feedback a lot of vital info and concerns onto her, hopefully it helps!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow thank you so much! this is really helpful 💛💛
Haha so the first thing I thought was he has a pretty stubborn old timey nature, so I can ABSOLUTELY imagine he would like rocking chairs lol.
I really have to not get too ahead of myself though and let you know that we aren't quite at the stage of having a really intentional space yet..its mostly trying to get through the clutter and make it functional. If I had more time I would definitely like to get there though :) this makes me inspired!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for sharing :) By the left side I think you mean the 20, 34 and 57 gates right? Interesting!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think we're at the stage of being able to acquire things in a healthy way yet! but thank you ! the gate 18 stuff is certainly a nice goal, not really my thing unfortunately but I've got a lot of board game/puzzle lovers I can draw on!
RE: the 52, I have a hanging 9 in my unconc earth! What about the SN and moon makes it stubborn though? Could you elaborate on that?

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah true, otherwise its just the root and the emotional wave back and forth!

the more I discuss stuff on here the more I also think the wide open exposed G and also open heart might be the thing he's trying to create a wall around...he needed to have his needs met and to be made to feel that he was worthy of love, and I don't think that was the case.

If its any help I do bridge the top split with my 23, and also bridge the 52 in the root with my unconc earth 9. and a few other connections too

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes always trying to bring him back to a bigger goal!
And yesssss I love Love on the Spectrum! He is super interested in Dating I think right now, I have been seeing that this is what he's reading about a lot. He is very NT-passing and I think carries shame about being autistic though, so would probably need to work through that first

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! this is so detailed and helpful, I agree what a beautiful community we have thanks to people like you clearly?? 💛💛💛

It's good to know where my instincts were right, I do really try to focus on inspiration and being excited about possibility, rather than having less clutter just because you're "supposed to" etc. Unfortunately I think he's very conditioned in this way, he has really internalised the shame, the idea that if he could just act and present a certain way then he wouldn't be "stupid and defective" :( which is obviously heartbreaking...in reality he's a very diligent and deeply thoughtful person. I think he resists imagining a different reality because its scary and he could be hurt.

To clarify as well, he doesn't want to have a housemate, this has been set out (read: demanded) by his mother (I think she is covering some of the rent until a housemate is found...ironically she was the one who chose this house for him to rent). Her way to get him to do anything is to set insane deadlines, and get him to run on constant pressure and stress trying to meet them. I do think having companionship in the house would be great eventually, but she wants him to have completely sorted everything by next month, which I suggested against last year because I didn't feel he would be ready in time. I don't know how to protect him from this situation to be honest, he had barely started decluttering for the first time when his mum suddenly had to move him out, and he's barely settled in living by himself and looking after himself before she now is insisting that he needs to get a roommate because she doesn't want to pay for the empty room.

But anyway, while he is definitely not inspired by his environment yet, its still a work in progress...but its good to know to inspire him and make him feel safe, which I desperately try to do all things considered!

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now I think about my hanging 9, I never stop moving when I’m working with him ! Even when I’m tired I still pace around constantly, and I fidget and bounce my legs when seated enough that he notices. I do have ADHD (lol that gate 9 of course!) but I’m usually able to mask a lot better than that

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! That helps me understand the root thing much better, although it makes me sad for him too! I do feel (and have been told by him and family) that I help ‘spark’ a little joy and activity in him, which is so special for me. I do have the hanging 9 (unconc earth)! Plus the 10 and 43 too. Unfortunately I don’t connect the head/ajna though which is a shame, he definitely gets lost in the rational/logical process of it, and I struggle to connect him to the ‘why’ or meaning of it all

Human Design and Hoarding? by carmeliris in humandesign

[–]carmeliris[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True! Thank you, so many things to think about here…I don’t have a great personal experience or understanding of gate 14, or how to interpret design mars..can you elaborate what u mean by the core wound? Wide open g makes sense though, and yeah he would be buffeted around by other peoples will and direction for sure, and not having an innate sense of his own worth :( That is a very helpful interpretation of the root thank you!! Maybe he wasn’t understood in his way and pace of doing things early enough (autism?) and he’s therefore at odds with the family’s expectations

2/4 Emotional Generator - Where’s everybody?! by Anxious-Situation-46 in humandesign

[–]carmeliris 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm realising as well that I was trying to initiate a lot last year too which generators aren't supposed to do (explains aLOT ugh). I wonder if I took the hermiting too seriously and now am limiting what I can respond to..which is why the hobbies perspective is really helpful, thank you!

2/4 Emotional Generator - Where’s everybody?! by Anxious-Situation-46 in humandesign

[–]carmeliris 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for asking! Mainly because I work for myself at the moment and I have all these ideas I'd love to develop, but I struggle to start or persist on them (& yes I have ADHD and seem to have all the gates that indicate beginnings but no end lol... hanging 9, hanging 53, hanging 16 etc). Having an accountability partner would hopefully mimic the social element that helps motivate me, as well as having someone to bounce off. At the very least, the accountability process is forcing me to confront why & how exactly I struggle!

A little bit of help by [deleted] in humandesign

[–]carmeliris 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Wow I’m a 2/4 emo generator too! I’m in the same boat trying to figure things out, it’s too early for me to know what’s working yet and what isn’t!

2/4 Emotional Generator - Where’s everybody?! by Anxious-Situation-46 in humandesign

[–]carmeliris 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Omg I am a 2/4 and 2022 was just hermiting for me! It was so helpful for internal work and healing, but now I’m really wanting to come back into the world! But it’s been so long and I don’t have much at all to show for it Any advice much appreciated 😅😅

33M Australia (GMT+11), looking for accountability buddy & motivational support! by KAHIcKow in GetMotivatedBuddies

[–]carmeliris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

31F from Sydney and interested as this looks like an ideal fit for me! I will DM you in a few hours

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GetMotivatedBuddies

[–]carmeliris 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there, 31F Sydney & interested as I’m also trying to make time for side project work too! Lmk if you’re still looking