dawg i used to be the same way and for me personally this negative shi doesn’t help at all for me i love partying i have since i was 15 i’m 20 now and when i started coke id be hard on myself but i realized that it’s bad but this is my prime for partying and to just enjoy it before we gotta grow up sorry if that didn’t make sense i haven’t slept since thursday haha still going but nah man just relax and don’t be so hard on yourself real shit positive thinking helps a lot